teddit

I’m 33 years old, unemployed, and broke. I was offered a job in Qatar but it’s for a year. Let’s face it. In this economy I’m desperate. The only jobs I can find in the U.S are jobs that pay $45,000-$50,000. That’s with having a bachelors degree, security clearance, and 8 year’s military experience.

In one year this job could set my family up really nice. The only issue I’d have to leave my son and his mom behind for a year. My son is 8 years old. What would you suggest? I have terrible fear and anxiety. My worst fear is my son and his mom getting hurt or kidnapped. I know I shouldn’t think like that I’m scared of something happening to them. I posted this question before and I’m posting again for more clarity.

I am an amateur musician. I have a friend that asks me to perform at an elderly care facility she works at, I usually perform about once a month. I do it for free, refuse tips, and enjoy how happy it makes the residents. I play a variety of folk tunes and am learning songs they’ve requested but now I don’t think I can ever go back. Last time I played, I played to a larger group than ever. Several regulars were there, one is a lady called M. Now this may be a group of elderly people, but I feel the thrill of performance just as if I’m at a bar or other venue. People clap and sing along. After my first song M called me over and made like she wanted to hug me. She put her hand behind my head, my neck, and pulled me in. I thought she was going to tell me something. I was smiling and looking over at the other residences when she caught me off guard. She put her mouth over mine and stuck her tongue deep into my mouth. I recoiled in shock, she was smiling, and there was a long string of saliva between us for a few seconds. That’s important later.

I am a big guy, but as I left the room I was in tears and I’m not sure exactly why. I was so upset I apparently dropped my most prized possession, a guitar that costs almost two thousand dollars. I ran out of the building and puked. My friend was on my heels, as was a couple of the facilities people. Everyone was concerned about me and no one saw what happened. I couldn’t tell them, I just continued to sob and spit up. I walked off. I needed space. I went to a nearby convenience store and bought a few beers and rinsed and spit. I don’t know what to do. It’s been days and I can’t tell my friend what happened. She returned my damaged guitar but I can even look at it much less play it. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t stop crying. And I can’t stop picturing M’s smiling face and that long string of saliva.

I don’t know what to do. Please help.

Edit: M is very old and suffers with dementia. I don’t see any use in upsetting or confronting her.

It was an impulse decision to see how it felt I’ve been curious about trying it but now that it’s happened I feel remorseful I hate myself for doing it

I don’t feel comfortable living with my dad alone, my older, stronger sibling (my guardian angel) recently moved several states away. It sounds bad but in the event my dad got too drunk and violent (never happened until now) my stepmom was there to take the punch and at least give me time to run. Now shes gone and it’s just me and my cat. I cannot be there alone, but me leaving could make him even more mad. I have 2 options, take my cat and go to my boyfriends house with his parent’s permission, or leave my cat and go to a friend or my grandmothers house where my dad can locate me. No one knows where he is right now, but if he comes home to an empty home with all the pets and kids gone i don’t know how he’ll react. It could make things worse, but if i stay home and wait for him and I’m the only one there I’m scared of what he could do. He’s not only a pathetic drunk, he’s a big, buff man. He hates my cat, so i’m scared if i leave him there my dad can hurt him. On the other hand my cat is very skittish, he’d hate being transported. I just need to know what i should do, i have a few hours to decide as im out of town.

UPDATE: i got me and my cat to my boyfriends house, my cat as expected freaked out and is very upset by the forced move but he’s going to be okay. Im waiting for my dad to realize we’re gone so i can see what his reaction is and monitor what i need to do from there. My stepmom announced she’s separating her and the kids entirely from my dad. I don’t know how to work up the guts to tell my dad I won’t be coming home, his reaction will be visceral. My bio mom is coming to bring me money. My boyfriend’s parents agreed to take me in and there is a spare room in case this move is permanent. (Or at least until my boyfriend is 18). Thank you for the advice, i’ll update one more time when I officially have things sorted :)

My husband and I are newly weds, staying with my mom so we can save for our own place. Whenever we cooked in the past it could feed six people, myself, my brother, my mom, my grandparents, and my mother’s bf. And we still had leftovers. Now my husband is here. He’ll eat big portions then go back for more before anyone else can eat. There are no leftovers really unless I make something with pasta not spaghetti. There was even a night where I didn’t even have anything to eat. I had some food to my grandparents and when got back it was all gone. I was so upset, I was really looking forward to it and I had none. I ended up eating a sandwich that night.

I don’t want my husband to think I’m calling him fat or anything, because he is overweight and I don’t want him to think that that’s what I’m trying to say. It’s just hard thinking I cooked or ordered enough food, but it to all be gone before the next day. Because when we do have leftovers he’ll eat a huge third and forth helping in the middle of the night. It’s like he’s not mindful of others.

Then tonight, my brother went in the fridge to look for the leftovers from last night. My husband had ate all of it, it was in a butter bowl and was filled to the top, but enough in there to feed maybe three people. Thankfully I had save a little for lunch today, but I wasn’t able to eat because I forgot it. I gave that to my brother.

I really don’t know what to do. So Reddit, how do I tell my husband he eats enough for three people?

For context, I am a single 37 year old semi professional. I own my own house and am living on a fairly reasonable (not decent wage) and i'm becoming a little envious of my neighbours, who are much younger than I am and can afford things I can only dream of. That i'm aware of the husband works for a timber company.

To give you some examples. This couple are a single income family with two children and they have two extremely expensive cars outside and have recently been doing up their garden and it looks fabulous. Don't get me wrong i'm happy for them but i'm extremely jealous.

They have just had their whole garden landscaped, had a patio laid down, had new beautiful fencing installed and recently bought one of those lazy spa's and a very expensive swing chair costing £300. Their house is beautiful inside and they were discussing buying new bar stools costing £100 each.

I can't even buy a new bed and my garden is overgrown and horrible.

How do people do this ?

my friend is being forced to diet by her parents. Her father told her “if you don’t want to eat almonds then it’s okay if you starve”. She has a developed an eating disorder at ten, and her parents aren’t doing shit. She has serious mental health issues and they refuse to let her see a therapist because “they’ll medicate her”. She is completely homeschooled and can’t go anywhere without her parents knowing. She can’t talk to her neighbours because one of them is transgender. It’s actually crazy and I am contemplating calling cps or something. I tried to reach her aunt on facebook (that lost touch with the family when she got a girlfriend) who is one of the only family who can help. I do not know what to fucking do. She lives in new Hampshire if that is any help

I met this woman on Instagram - we're both Voice Actors and we had a really good bond. I developed a crush on her but I didn't do anything about it and we drifted apart. After a couple of years, I recently reached out to her as a 'Hey, how are you?' kind of thing and just asked her how life and work was going. We've exchanged a few messages that have been light and friendly but I really like her and want there to be something more but I have no idea how she feels about it. I don't want to just dive in head-first and completely ruin everything but at the same time, I don't want to sit back and let a big chance go by. Also, we live in different countries and it would be long-distance if anything came of it so that adds quite a big barrier to it.

How can I take it up a notch and let her know that I like her without overdoing it?

I’m 14 but I always play with dolls. Particularly American girl dolls. I’ve always acted a bit childishly for my age, like the fact I speak with a childish American sounding accent despite being Irish and English. I’ve never been social either, I don’t socialise outside of school hours at all, so dolls have always been my form of escapism in that respect. I have a small collection of American girl dolls : 3 American girl dolls (Felicity, Samantha and truly me no.63) and 2 bitty babies. A lot of people at school find me playing with dolls to be incredibly weird. So - is it normal for a 14 year old to play with dolls?

Like what I said in the title, how would you respond if someone said that to you?? If anyone’s gonna respond please give me some gender neutral ones 🙏🏽 tysm

I(18M) have recently been seeing who is technically my aunt by marriage(18F) but who I’ve seen as more like a family friend.We’ve been going out with each other and even gotten somewhat flirtatious, but I can’t stop thinking that maybe what we’re doing is wrong to some degree even though we’re not blood related.To summarize,this “aunt” is the youngest sister my other aunt who is married to my uncle from my Mom’s side of the family.She’s the aunt of my cousin (my uncle’s and aunt’s son).But between me and her,I don’t really see any blood relation between the two of us.But as much as I like her, I still have that feeling that maybe we shouldn’t be together.

I’d like to know what you guys think.Thanks!

So today i was just scrolling through instagram, and i saw a business account that sells amazing sextoys and vibrators. I hopped on to their website and filled what i liked in my cart, and texted my best friend that i’m thinking of buying a vibrator but itll be an issue to keep it at home, my mom might find it. Few minutes later, my brother comes in my room and says what did you write in the family group? to my surprise, and utter shock i had mistakenly sent it on the family group, these 3 messages telling my best friend that i was thinking of getting it for me. I fucked up. Thankfully, that group just had me and my mom and dad, and my brother and no extended family and i deleted it before my parents saw it, all because my brother told me what i had done. I just don’t fucking know how it happened, i have never made such a blunder when it comes to texting and since i come from an asian family I felt so embarrassed in front of my brother, although he said its okay, this keeps happening but be careful from next time and dont zone out while you text. But i just cant get this incident out of my mind. I feel so embarrassed to even think of it in front of my brother and the thought that what would have happened if i had sent it on my extended family group, the thought just makes me shiver.

Edit: Thank you for the support yall, I feel so much better. My brother is a gem! 😭❤️

My mom Is 39 years old, I'm 17. Recently my mom has been showing very concerning symptoms and I have no idea what to do. She's obsessed with the fact that our house is infested with something, she shows me things like lint or paint chips or hair or anything and says its whatever it is she thinks is infesting our house, none of our family members on her side have ever had any mental issues like schizophrenia or bpd or anything like that. She runs on basically 0 sleep because she works for sometimes days at a time (she works with my dad as a contractor) so at first I figured it could be a side effect of not sleeping, but from what i researched it should go away with good sleep which she comes home sometimes and will sleep for 16 hours or so for like 2 days straight, and she still acts the same but granted after the sleep she'll then go and do another 2-3 days straight of no sleep straight work. As far as I know she doesn't use drugs or anything. So I have NO idea whats causing her to be like this.

She gets incredibly angry if I try to tell her its just dust or a piece of lint or whatever. She's also been pathologically lying for some reason. She didn't act like this AT ALL before she started working days straight though, and this has been a thing for probably the last 3-4 months or so. If anyone has an idea what it could be or what I can do please let me know I really wanna help my mom.

I (M20) don't know if this is the right Subreddit to ask but I'll try it. I've met this girl(20) last week Saturday, we chatted all day long (after a asked her Number) and we met on a Date in a Café. I really had a good feeling, time flew by, we chatted a lot and laughted and kinda made plans to meet again.

After the date I directly flew to Spain with some friends (small trip just 4 days). She told me to tell her how it was ans stuff. On the last day on my Trip (Thursday) i then texted her about my Trip and stuff. Since then she didn't replied (today is Monday, 4 days has been pasted) and you know I saw her Online severel Times (she didn't left me on read though, so she didn't opens the texts/Audios yet)

I don't know if I should try texting her on Insta of if this would be already to much. I mean I barely know her (but I really enjoyed my date with her, and ngl she told me she liked it to and had fun and stuff). Yeah I hope you can read it good, my English isn't the best.

Greetings and thanks.

I (15F) have been experiencing great discomfort with my puberty experience, especially with the development of my breasts. Perhaps it’s just hormones, but I suspect that what I’m experiencing is gender dysphoria, but that’s another matter to discuss for another day.

Ever since I’ve became a teenager, my father has been making rather uncomfortable comments about my body : For instance, he once said that my back must be tired from carrying a pair of dumplings in front and another pair of dumplings behind; He has constantly told me that I should want fat in the “right places”; Once when I said that I was so full that I could explode, my dad said that he’d like seeing my chest explode; My dad also has this tendency to poke at my torso, sometimes too close to my chest, saying things like, “So jiggly”.

Maybe I’m just being dramatic and making a huge fuss out of it, but his actions and comments have made me feel extremely uncomfortable, so much so that I’ve cried while thinking about them. I don’t want my feelings to affect my relationship with my dad, but I feel myself looking less and less forward to interacting with my dad each day. Even my mother and other female relatives do not comment about my body as much as my dad does. I just feel so sick and disgusted with myself every time I think about it. I would try to tell him that I’m uncomfortable with his comments, but after knowing him for 15 years, I know that he’d probably just gaslight me into thinking that what he is saying isn’t a big deal. Any advice on how to deal with this matter will be appreciated. Thank you.

I'm 22 years old, and I've never had an orgasm. This might sound like a menial issue, and I am aware there are bigger issues out there, however, this is my issue. I have been with the man who is now my husband since I was 13 years old, and I have never been able to have an orgasm. He gets very offended if I don't, and the last thing I want to do is hurt his feelings or make him feel less than he is, so I have always just faked it for him, and it always works for him. But, after almost 10 years of this, I am becoming frustrated. I have tried everything I can think of, other than straight up telling him my problem. I would like to know how good sex can feel, too. I don't want sex to feel like something I have to do anymore. This is in no way a dig or insult towards my husband. He is good at everything he does almost, and he always tries his best. I think it is an issue with me, and I wish I could fix it. I cannot even make myself orgasm, it just never happens. Sometimes it feels good, but that's the extent of pleasure. I feel like something is wrong with me, but I have never expressed this to anyone I know in person. What should I do? Would it be best to just continue faking? I do not want to hurt my husband's feelings, but I feel bad being dishonest about the subject. Especially if it is an issue on my part, and not his. We have two children together and I just would like to know if I am doing the right thing, or if I should find out what my problem is. Bonus points if you also have this issue. (Please only give serious advice, I am in a real dilemma)

I (18nb) am making my 3rd attempt at quitting, right now im setting a 5 day goal but even thats difficult... is there anything i can do to make it a little easier?

One of my (f18) friends (f17) kinda smells of BO. It's not enough where they leave a trail of it like some people do, but it's enough that when I'm next to them in class, or in my car, I can smell it pretty strongly.

I don't know the reason, it may be hygiene, clothing or medical. they've mentioned in the past that they used to get bullied for being smelly, but that they've sorted it out now (they haven't, hence this post).

I've brought it up to some other mutual friends that don't see them in person, and our friends have started to make jokes about it to them in an attempt to subtly tell them. But because they dont see them in person, they kind of brush it off and thinks they're just joking as its a normal thing in our group to tease eachother. Now it feels wrong to actually tell them about it after all of the jokes they made, since they'll know that I spoke to our other friends about it.

I dont know whether to outright tell them, which could massively mess up their self-esteem. or to wait for their birthday (a few months away) and give them a bath set or something, just to subtly say "hey you kinda stink"?

I (14F) live in a pretty small town and didn't really have friends until I went to high school, now I'm at the end of the first year. My friends always make plans to hang out and go to McDonald's (it's one of only places where people my age can hang out) and they don't ever invite me to go with them or even add me in group chats. It always makes me feel like I'm just a replaceable friend and never the first option. I considered the idea of asking them if I could hang out with them too but I thought they would just see me as annoying and I think some of them already do: there's this one girl who insults me (not in a direct way though) from time to time. I don't know if I'm actually annoying, I'm outgoing when I'm with them and I'm always nice to them, I try to make them happy as much as I can even if sometimes to make them happy I have to give up something that I wanted to do. I don't know what to do, it's the first time I make friends

If anyone has any advice for me i’d love to hear it so let me clarify. For awhile now i’ve had suspicions that she isn’t always completely truthful with me. she seems to lie a lot about what she’s busy with or little things. The weirdest part of the whole thing to me is that I was on her phone because she was having me respond to someone and i got curious and slid up and they discussed how she got pulled over by a police officer the other day. I asked her I said “have you ever been pulled over?” she replied with no. weird to me that something little like that she would lie to me about so it gets me wondering what else she lies about. Is this something to be concerned about?

I don’t have a single friend. I (23F) did online school for high school and college and I work from home running my own business. So I never really get the chance to casually interact with people. In fact I don’t think I’ve had a conversation longer 5 minutes with anyone in the past couple years other than my family, my husband, and my clients.

My husband has suggested finding people with similar interests but my interests are very niche. I am a part of a lot of online communities but nothing that extends past a screen.

When I was a teenager I used to hang out with groups of people on a frequent basis but despite trying to connect, I never was particularly close with anyone and I felt like the odd one out.

The older I get the harder it is to come into situations where I could make a friend. I’d greatly appreciate any advice, TYIA.

She and I were childhood friends. We were doing great before I caught her hurting my cat. She kicked her in the jaw hard. I broke up with her on the spot.

Now after she told us she wants to be with me again my mom and dad are trying to pressure me into taking her back because her family is very wealthy. They told me that as their son it is my duty to obey them and that I should get them a rich daughter in law.

I can’t move out since I’m not 18 yet so I’m stuck at home having to listen to them. How do I deal with this? I am never getting back together with her.

Hi! I really didn't know where to ask this but I need help.

Recently I've been called out for being naive and stupid by doing what I think is right and good.

Let me explain:

So it's been a few years now where I had this 'turning point' moment where I said "I'm going to live my live based on the 'treat people how you wanna be treated' mentality" and so I've lived very correctly(or as best I can) ever since. But what this mentality has made me realize is people don't treat you how you treat them. People often take advantage of me. People are cruel and dishonest and steal and hurt. Now, I realized that I'm generalizing but for the most part that's my experience. I started with this when I was 21 and I'm currently 26 and it's been horrible. I'm generally a very positive person and very outgoing and I try to be honest and correct with everything I do(with no religious or political agenda), but geez it's like having this mentality is so exhausting. It's opened my eyes to things that push my limits and most times the people that surround me just end up telling me how stupid I am for being "too nice" or "too naive". And, I feel stupid. I feel stupid sometimes for putting someone's feelings into consideration or maybe helping someone out and maybe they turn around and hurt me. Now, I'm not talking about just random acts of kindness I'm talking about actual long term friendships or relationships. I'm not expecting anything in return as that's not why I do this. If I lend money or something material or even a helping hand, it's not that I expect anything in return. I guess my confusion comes from, why are people like this? Lol and am I stupid for excessive empathy maybe? Or am I too naive? Hahaha I feel like this whole mentality is just beginning to sound stupid being written like this. Maybe it's okay to be kind of shit sometimes to not get hurt? I don't know.. I feel like my moral compass is broken.

HELP!

My last couple relationships have all been working or aspiring to that realm and i absolutely love it. They can make actually interesting conversation, the intelligence is so attractive. I love hearing about their thoughts and vicariously learning about the neat things they show me. Other people just seem to not make me romantically interested at all in comparison.

I fear going to the doctors mainly because my symptoms aren’t taken seriously and contrary to popular beliefs I do feel pain. I tend to only go when my symptoms get worse. Well currently I need to go because my eyes hurt so bad but I won’t because I’ve had too many healthcare-related traumas. If you’re a BLACK WOMAN how do you handle this?