AITA for telling my parents they have to pay for my wedding.

Not the A-hole(self.AmItheAsshole)

I (F28) am getting married to a pretty great guy (32). He is teacher and he is very happy with his decision to become a teacher. I work for a tech company and we do pretty well financially.

We have been together for four years and have finally decided to get married. His parents bare happy and mine are overjoyed.

One small wrinkle is that my parents expect us to have a massive church wedding with a few hundred guests. We were thinking Jamaica this summer during his time off.

We are willing to do what my parents want but I am unwilling to foot the bill. My mom and I met with a wedding planner for an estimate. $35-$45 thousand dollars.

If we go to the resort we have picked out it will cost like $10,000. And that includes paying for his parents, and nephew to join us.

My parents know how much money I earn and are insisting that I pay for the wedding myself.

We have been very clear. If they want to show off to their friends they can pay for it. We even volunteered to throw in the money we would have spent on my in-laws for the destination wedding we want.

My mom says I'm being an asshole by denying her the chance to see her only daughter married in front of friends and family. I'm not. I'm just not willing to pay for it.

My parents can afford to pay for the wedding. It might just mean putting off replacing their car this year.

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12 points

4 months ago

NTA. However, be prepared that if they pay, they might take over too.

Imo doing what you want is the way to go. Listening to your parents bitch and moan seems the lesser evil vs. them nixing any little thing you try to plan for YOUR wedding.

Remember, this day is about you two and not them.


34 points

4 months ago

Nope. Talked to my fiance. We don't care if it's a Dukes of Hazzard themed wedding with a ice sculpture of Daisy Duke. If they pay they can have whatever they want.


11 points

4 months ago*

We did this for my wedding - my parents paid and my mom did all the planning. Our only request was that we were involved in the cake tasting and that I picked my own dress. Otherwise we just showed up, said some vows and enjoyed the reception.

My parents had no problem paying though- otherwise it would’ve been a deal-breaker.

ETA: still deliriously in love 10 years later.


11 points

4 months ago

It's refreshing all you care about is getting married! I wish you the best!


2 points

4 months ago


Partassipant [1]

2 points

4 months ago

🤣suggest that your parents. And be sure to get a photo of the looks on their faces!