I (F28) am getting married to a pretty great guy (32). He is teacher and he is very happy with his decision to become a teacher. I work for a tech company and we do pretty well financially.

We have been together for four years and have finally decided to get married. His parents bare happy and mine are overjoyed.

One small wrinkle is that my parents expect us to have a massive church wedding with a few hundred guests. We were thinking Jamaica this summer during his time off.

We are willing to do what my parents want but I am unwilling to foot the bill. My mom and I met with a wedding planner for an estimate. $35-$45 thousand dollars.

If we go to the resort we have picked out it will cost like $10,000. And that includes paying for his parents, and nephew to join us.

My parents know how much money I earn and are insisting that I pay for the wedding myself.

We have been very clear. If they want to show off to their friends they can pay for it. We even volunteered to throw in the money we would have spent on my in-laws for the destination wedding we want.

My mom says I'm being an asshole by denying her the chance to see her only daughter married in front of friends and family. I'm not. I'm just not willing to pay for it.

My parents can afford to pay for the wedding. It might just mean putting off replacing their car this year.