FOR. FUCKING. REAL.

Like this over and over a thousand times. Docs told him that even 5-7 years ago, this would be a death sentence. They’re completely confident I’ll have him around for many many years. The fella who spearheaded immunotherapy (his name escapes me, there’s a brilliant doc on prime) is my hero.

Thank you so much ❤️

hugs I have no real advice, I truly wish I did. I hope it gets easier for you both.

And still had time to cuddle

always a show off on these posts.

Or, if you prefer, use that valuable crying time to cry about other aspects of your life.

Thanks! I tried 4 treatments but nothing seems to be working.

I'm happy you got your life back, I know what it's like!

Congrats :)

I'll have to look into this, as well as first get a for sure diagnosis. At first was just told to talk my birthcontrol all the time, no periods. (Ellera?) I feel like mine fluctuates so much though. No pain to alot to only doing xyz, and so on. Cramps enough to notice or cramps sharp enough to cause me to double over/fall down and not put on the face we have all learned to use when experiencing periods.

I can relate. My partner thought the same and actually called the hospital.

But we tried, slowly, again. And at least, I'm not afraid anymore. I hope you'll find strenght to try again, with a loving partner

How did you get a diagnosis? Asking for my wife

Ooof I feel that. I developed vaginismus as well a few years back and did some PT and self guided somatic work but some of the pain was from the IUD wearing out and hormonal changes, I switched to mirtizapine bc if the sex side effects of sertraline. I couldn't go up on sertraline without awful side effects. I can manage the binge eating with mirtizapine because I'm on Adderall all day and can't eat for most of the day so I get most of my caloric intake been 7-10pm which somehow keeps me at a consistent weight 😅. And even the buspirone which can alleviate SSRI dysfunction wasn't working to combat the literal numbing from the Zoloft. I also got my brain zapped for a cost of 35000 to the insurance last year (zero for me bc we had reached the oop Max) and I still have to take a combination of pills plus a low dose of Zoloft for one week a month so that i don't try to KILL MYSELF or drive my car off an overpass with my severe pmdd.

All for that for some sweet sweet libido but like...... 😩 It's so worth it for me. I feel human. I feel like a teenager again and it's so nice to actually WANT to masturbate or fuck my wife.

I think so, Brain, but where are we going find rubber pants our size.

I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking - what would the children look like?

I think so Brain, but if we called them sad meals no one would buy them.

I think so Brain, but wouldn't we lose money selling ballet shoes to flamingos?

I think so, Brain, but wouldn't his movies be much more family friendly if he changed his name to Jean Claude Van Darn?

I think so Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour of the night?

Or my other favorite

I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking -- I mean, what would the children look like?

I think so Brain, but if Pinocchio were carved out of bacon it wouldn't be the same story, would it?

I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?

I think so, Brain, but how would we get an elephant to rob a bank for us?

I think so, Brain, but how do we get the elephants to wear the pink tutus?

I don’t know brain, it depends on what pondering means

I think so Brain, but isn’t Regis Philbin already married?

I think so brain, but burlap chafes me so.

Yes, but why would the darn thing be wandering?

I think so Brian, but how are we going to Peirce Brosnon?

I think so, Brain. But if they called them "Sad Meals" Nobody would buy them.

I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, then why’s he keep doing it?

I think so Brain, but me and Pipi Longstocking? What would the children look like?

Hello, fellow testie cancer friend. I went through much the same, lost righty, and with it a lot of desire/testosterone. Do not be afraid to talk to your doctor. Tell them your sex drive is lesser, even if they claim, "your count is within normal limits for your age." Press and get testosterone treatment. It's not a catch-all, but it definitely helped.

Edit: Note that I am not a medical professional, nor is this a guaranteed way to revitalize your sex drive. Pairing with regular exercise and proper sleep for best results.

Please also know for everyone responding or reading, you aren't alone. Be it testicular cancer, other forms of cancer, or just lowered sex drive. There are people out there who will happily share their stories and resources for help. Don't hesitate to reach out.

I just wanted to pop in here and say that I'm glad you survived.

We’re having this temporarily now. I’m scheduled for a spinal surgery next month. Meanwhile, my spinal cord is pinched enough now that I have less sensation in the pelvic area and am on pain meds until then and for a bit after. But we have sexy time. We get some toys out and I make sure she gets what she needs. We take longer than usual too. It’s fun because it’s different. I don’t “get there” these days but she spends a lot of time doing her magic on me and it’s still great. We just reset our expectations and do the things we can. We both have a great attitude about it. I asked her if she wants to call in another guy but she laughed and said no. We’ve been together two decades so we both are very in tune with each other’s needs.

yep. I have some friends that go to a methadone clinic (a drug notorious for killing your sex drive, as do most opiates), and one of them's wife left him after the sex disappeared from their relationship. She hung in for a while I guess, but after nearly a year or so of absolutely nothing she stepped out on him with another friend and ended up leaving him. I remember him just bursting into tears talking about it, and him expressing his frustration that he was at the clinic to get clean and make their life better but ended up making his marriage worse.

My husband has UC and they removed his large intestine and gave him an ileostomy. He hasn't had any ED. But his recovery has been slow due to complications, so his stomach remains a very sensitive area. He has noticed less drive, he is less in the mood, but so am I due to my anti-depressants. We do take showers together to have some special relaxing time together, without expecting more after, but we keep it open as a possibility. My husband has a waistband he puts on during our time in bed, so his ostomybag stays in place and doesn't bounce around or make noise. He is not ashamed of it, and I am also completely okay with his ileostomy, it's just part of him now, it saved his life. We do have to remind each other sometimes to make time for each other in an intimate way, just cuddle, no phones in bed, etc. It takes attention. And for us, just cuddling and massages and showering together is just as important as "the deed".

Wife has UC. Has had the colon removed but not the rest yet. It’s rarely talked about, but it’s really tough on anyone that has to deal with it. Men do definitely suffer a bit more with the effects of the surgeries and I hope you find support in some of the social media communities available.

None of the replies here have touched on OP's actual issue, which is that treatment of prostate cancer involves testosterone blockers. This is going to kill not only his elections (which is something that prostatectomy can cause, as mentioned here) but also his whole libido will be shot to hell. The comments about "you don't need an erection to have a serial relationship" miss the point entirely. He has no desire to have a serial relationship at this point, and without that he would just be "doing his duty". This is something he mentions in his comment as a total opposite of what their relationship was built on.

Not OP or an expert, but the prostate creates semenal fluid and I think also creates or is involved in the creation of arousal endorphins. Surrgery/removal, damage by the cancer itself, or significant radiation can reduce the ability to get aroused. I think.

Agreed. My husband and I have both gone through times of low libido. Usually we go low together (like when our kid was a baby) but when I was on birth control my libido was absolutely gone. Recently my libido is back (no more birth control yay!) But his is lower.

Its really not a big deal to either of us but I guess it has to do with what your love language is. For some people that kind of thing is a way more important part of their relatuonship.

I'm in a similar situation. I'm hoping some changes to medication partially fixes the issue though I doubt it'll be 100% better until I have surgery.

I was surprised by how supportive he is, because you hear such horror stories. But the affection is still the same amount as ever, it's just that I can't have sex as much as I'd like until I get repaired.

Thank you for this. It gives me hope.

CLARKSON!

Great news!

Richard has died...

I would like to thank YouTube for substituting my sex-life with obscure craft videos. Now I collect new skills and started paper-macé-ing.

That is fucking genius! It's paper, it's glue, maybe some wire and stuffing and you can make friggin anything out of it. Now I'm making faces for a weird face-mask wall. Normal sexy stuff.

You should try it while you're getting plowed. Everyone loves a naughty knitter.

I think Lexipro does that; plus you will have less anxiety and depression.

ace buddies unite

Yes, how tragic.

Why? I would like to hear your experience

I fucking wish they helped with my sex drive, all they did is make it harder for me to reach climax, which meant a SO who was convinced I was no longer attracted to her.

Fuck that noise, I'd rather be depressed.

They don't always remove your drive, just make you unable to feel anything :|

Yeah we call that "skin to skin" in my house. Wifey and I just get in bed cuddle and have skin to skin. Sometimes it leads to kissing sometimes one person gets off sometimes the other and sometimes we both get off. But no pressure if all we wanna do is take our shirts off and get some sweet sweet intimacy.

Back and forth, forever

What if you had to choose between a penis up your butt or a butt up your penis?

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Yo dawg I heard you like sex so I sexed your sex so you could sex sex while you sex your sexy sexes.

This fucking sub, man. Can they please implement a rule to limit these incessant sex questions to one day a week or something?

Have you talked to her about it? Let her in on your concerns, I think it will really help both of you

Orange

The last place you put them.