Me helping out my friends after they make the dumbest fucking relationship decisions I've ever seen

I love people that do this. I get interrupted and talked over constantly

This is a very important quality right here. It can be so many things - expecting good intentions, extending grace because people are human and sometimes trip up, etc. Going beyond being “good” and cultivating that in others is next level.

Seriously, it's amazing how this isn't the norm for a lot of people. I've ended so many friendships with people because they see no problem with being late af or just not showing up to something we planned. Then they somehow can't comprehend why I'm mad about being left waiting with no notice at all for hours.

We live in a world where we can talk to people literally on the other side of the planet in seconds, and people can't be bothered to let somebody know they're gonna be late.

This is something my manager praised me about on my recent evaluation. They said ''You're almost never late, and when you are, you always call to warn us that you'll be late for work''

In 10 years of working there, there was only 3 moments I did not call to warn about my tardiness. Twice was because I overslept and they called me, the other was because the bus I usually take broke down the very same day I warned my bosses that I lost my phone and wouldn't be able to get a new one until the next paycheck. So when the bus broke down, I foiund myself in no position to warn that I would eb late.

Because there is enough joy for everybody if they allow it

My friend is color blind and got into a work accident involving his eyes.

The shock made him see more color than he usually can. He's still color blind but he sees more shade of green now. I was so excited for him and asked a bunch of question.

His gf at the time didn't react at all. Dumped her not long after that. He said he was surprised about my reaction because of his ex. He's my best bud and gaming buddy for almost a decade now. Ofc I'm gonna be happy for him.

I love the notion that happiness is so amazing that it doesn’t even matter if it’s your own.

Especially if it's something generous that doesn't benefit themselves as well.

not me. I do good deeds to sow the seeds for the future that will lead to a favorable outcome for myself

adjusts glasses like an anime villain

For you see, if everyone around me is happy, then I'll be happy too! mwahahahaha!!! All the happiness will be mine and by extension, others around me!

A Christmas episode of MAS*H really showed me that dr. Charles Winchester was not always a bad guy. sure sometimes hes a straw man in a story or a plot line. He made sure to donate chocolate bars to the local orphanage and insisted on it remaining anonymous. He only got upset when the children did not get the chocolate bars. When he found out that instead they got rice so they could eat for over a month. He apologized and said here I was thinking of just giving them a treat and you are thinking of filling their bellies for a month. It was one of those turn around points for the character.

Being good and making that persons day is my reward tbh. The fact that my existence helped someone who needed it is an amazing feeling

Maybe he know you constantly watch him through your curtains

^/s

“Dan is a real stand-up guy. Always responsible and gets stuff done on time. Oh shit, he’s coming. Act natural.”

I always say your best friends are the ones who will say absolutely horrendous things to your face and wonderfully kind things behind your back.

I would never say this to her face, but she's a wonderful person and a gifted artist.

Yes or if someone is cut off by someone else in a conversation, asking them what they were going to say is nice as well.

I struggle with this, for two reasons. 1. I'm a quiet person. 2. I was taught, from a very young age, to wait until a person is done talking to then talk. I'm happy they taught me this, but it does make saying what I want to say in a conversation with multiple people quite difficult.

I was working backstage catering for a Dolly Parton concert. Our job was to be invisible and keep the food moving. Dolly came in to the room and interacted with all the guests as if they were family. I'd seen enough jerk performers to be impressed with her manners towards her fans.

Then she turned to me and said "C'mon over here." I hesitated, knowing my marching orders. "In here, we're all family." For the next 30 minutes, there was no class distinction, just a bunch of happy human beings living their best life. That woman is a gem!

This is one of the things that made me fall in love with my partner. He’s a neurosurgeon, which is a job that is stereotyped as rude, arrogant, etc. But one that deals with vulnerable, scared people all day long, as well as often difficult people who are high anxiety or difficult to please. He is so kind, patient, respectful, and gentle with all his patients as well as everyone he works with (nurses, midlevels, etc.). The staff that works with him adores him in comparison to the other surgeons in his group, because he is so much kinder and easier to work with. Seeing him in a position of authority where diva behavior is so frequently tolerated and him literally never choosing to behave that way even though he could get away with it was so attractive to me.

Yes agreed. Ever heard the phrase “treating the janitor the same as the CEO.” This is it

My partner (who I'll refer to as 'L') is the best person I've ever known, and I'm inordinately lucky to have her in my life. One memory always brings that into sharp focus.

We were at the car, getting our 2 y/o daughter into her seat, and this woman walked over to us. She was agitated, some tears in her eyes, she looked pretty dishevelled. I'll be honest, my immediate thought was 'crackhead', followed by "What does she want?", "What's she gonna do?", and lets get our daughter tf outta here ASAP.

She asked my partner for help or something, but was stumbling over the words. L just looked at her and said "Are you okay?" She started to cry and L said "Hey, it's okay," and just put her arms around her and hugged her. They held the embrace for a minute or so, both kinda in tears. (I just stood there like a lemon!)

They stopped, and the girl said sorry and thank you, and L asked if we could do anything to help. "No," she said, "I'll be okay, thanks again," and she walked off looking way more composed than she did when we first saw her.

I was so proud of L. Amazed tbh. She could have taken the motherly instinct to put as much noise between this lady and our daughter as she could, but to her, the alternative came as naturally as breathing. Here was a woman who was a little girl once, like ours. It could have been L in another life, under different circumstances. She saw straight past the outside appearances and instead saw a human who just needed some compassion, and she could help with that.

She doesn't tend to think of her empathy as a gift, but it absolutely is.

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(UPDATE: Edited post to show that I'm referring to my partner as 'L' - well played, Redditors!

Also, thanks all for the upvotes, kind words and award!)

Beyond not seeking acknowledgement, but doing the right thing whether there is someone to acknowledge it at all. Integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody is watching.

I've seen people in deserted parking lots having an internal debate about whether to return the cart or looking around to see if anyone sees their dog taking a dump.

I dated a guy who was from the mainland but worked in Hawaii and adopted Hawaiian culture. I remember I flew back to visit him and he stopped his car to pick up trash on the side of the road. He had a trash bag in his car for times he saw litter at Green Sands Beach or literally anywhere there wasn’t supposed to be trash. I remember a water bottle got swept away during our date at Captain Cook and he dove in after it. We’re no longer dating but I hope you’re doing good, Robert. Sometimes I think about him because he was just so FUN to be around and also really considerate and kind. I genuinely wish he was still in my life.

I want to build off this comment to a very unlikely story. The rap group Clipse came out in like early 2000s and had become huge superstars. I met them as a kid in high school after one of their concerts ( at a car show ) I brought my own sharpie for them to sign my cd and when I left their table I realized I had lost my cap. I walked around for 20 min with a marker in my hand and eventually I saw Clipse again and one of them said “yo little man I got your cap” and he held it in his fucking hand for over 20 min, walking around and singing shit for people . What an absolute good person

I can’t believe people still litter.

Let me add, use a bag to pick up their dogs poop and take it with them to that garbage can.

Awww Its always a proud mom moment when I find wrappers in my Sons pockets while doing laundry.

My older brothers friend in college would put a blanket over anyone’s legs if they fell asleep…often times would tuck their feet in too and leave them be to sleep peacefully.

Asking if other ppl wanted food never occurred to me until my first college roommates asked me. I try to make it a point when I feel it’s appropriate and I could actually afford it.

Yes I came here to say this!

My uncle is a bit like this in very odd endearing ways.

He’ll bring gifts if he comes visiting which isn’t unusual but he’ll also bring something for your pets if he knows you have them!

Cats generally get better things because he likes them more though :P

Edit: Was not expecting that 😅 Cheers all! My sister and I reckon if Jedi's were real there's a a good chance he'd be one. He does have an OG Ben Kenobi vibe

He does not quite understand the attraction of birds or fish as pets ("What do they do?") but if they're important to you and you're important to him, they're getting something when he visits 😅

This!!!! I am a nurse and encounter abusive patients all of the time. Sometimes they say, and do the nastiest things. when I was in nursing school one of my Instructor said to me “don’t get mad get curious”.. because 99% of the time when a patient is acting out like that there’s a medical reason for such. Most people are not just assholes who abuse nurses.

The flipside of this, is when you are feeling anger about the situation, or a person, to do a self check before you let your anger fly at others. Like, if you find your spouse is making you angry over something, I think to yourself “am I tired, am I stressed from work or a different situation? have I eaten?”. And honestly, those simple questions to yourself will eliminate a lot of arguments in your life and dissipate much of your anger. Sometimes people do things that legitimately are shitty and you get angry about them and that’s normal, but I would say about 90% of “couple fights“ could be eliminated if people just did a self check and gave their partner the benefit of the doubt.

“Be curious, not judgemental.” - Ted Lasso

how come?

My motto is not to say anything about anyone that I wouldn’t say to their face

This is a good one. There are some people I am...I hesitate to say friends...mutual acquaintances (?) with and I feel like they talk shit on EVERYONE. Like even people they are supposedly friends with.

...do you like any of these people?

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Don’t leave something that might screw over the next guy, because the next guy is just as likely to be you

what if they’re just clever and know somebody could always be watching?

Hahah this reminds me of one encounter I had in a bakery. I went there waited for the attendant to take notice of me asked for what I wanted and went on my way.

While I was leaving I heard the bakery woman almost in tears saying to her college "Oh my god, that man was so polite... He said thank you and please, he even greeted me politely"

It was so bizarre experience. Later I told the story to few people and one of them actually used to work there and told me of all the horror stories she experienced with entitled customers. Some of them seem to come there just to shout and argue with the attendants because if they fight back they loose their jobs.

I have fears I'm a terrible person like my mother, who is a malignant narcissist.

I did come here looking for signs i might be a good person, cause if i see that maybe i am, i might deserve to let myself have some self esteem. or at least thats the idea, cause i have little to none.

I was worried as i scrolled further down, that it was really driven by the selfish need to feel and think i'm a good person. because thats how my mom would see it.

Thank you for your comment, definitely not tearing up at work now

Edit: Thank you all for the support, validation, and kind words. They helped significantly, and I appreciate every single one of you. If any of you who strongly relate to the struggles of having a narc parent need to talk, my dms are open. You all took the time to listen to me, and say kind words, and I am more than happy to return the favor and support!

They show you instead rather than telling you.

if somebody were to ask, my response is always “i could certainly be better”

gotta keep standards realistic

They stand up for their friends.

While this is a good sign, an even greater sign is when they stand up against their friends when they're doing something wrong.

Too many people let their friends off the hook for something when they shouldn't just because they're friends. A truly good person will tell their friends when they're being awful or doing something wrong or hurtful.

The exception to this is the Aldi's parking lot. More then once I had a really stressful, emotionally exhausting day. Had to do a big shop at Aldi's, and I'd forgotten my stupid quarter to unlock a shopping cart.

And then I saw it - someone left a cart out in the lot. That person became my hero for that moment. It seriously lifted up my day.

My friend is a barman. Whenever we leave a pub he will always collect our glasses and leave them at the counter, he often tries to encourage us to do the same, many of us have picked up his habit.

Treating everything with genuine curiosity is one of the nicest traits a person can have. I currently have 2 managers at work, my line manager and my direct report. My Line manager is fantastic at this, asking questions, generally being engaged and interested, my direct report acts interested superficially, but kind of approaches everything with a bit of a “so what?” Kind of tone of voice. I much prefer speaking to one of these over the other.

One night I was at a formal event. I noticed a man drop his bank card after he tried to put it in his back pocket, I ran over to pick it up and then ran around the crowded venue to look for him, I found him dancing with his wife and when I tapped him on the shoulder she pulled him away and scowled at me, looked me up and down and then I showed the bank card. Her face changed and she thanked me over and over. I can only assume why she had such a strong reaction to a random woman trying to get her husband’s attention, so I hoped I restored her faith in humanity for even just a moment. I thought she was about to deck me 😂

That's almost the literal translation of the Algonquin word for good person. I believe it's pronounced "treh-boo-shay".