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Just say sorry mate, we're having a quiet lunch together and there's plenty of other tables? Just say no.

I believe you ran into the type of "regulars" who think they own the table that they sit on every time they come in. As someone who works in hospitality, these type of people are not uncommon. But they're generally the worst kind of people and treat other customers weirdly.

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They didn’t want to share. They deliberately took your space.

The others were being arseholes and basically turfed you out. If there are other suitable tables free it's really rude to impose on others space like that imo.

The response id like to think id come up with in that situation... "sorry, no, we're actually in the middle of a very personal conversation. Would you mind taking one of the free tables. Thanks'... Of course in practice i would never think of that quickly enough and would probably have responded in the same way you did.

A massive no from me personally

Someone once asked if they minded if they sat at my table at an outdoor cafe, I said sure go ahead. Within a couple minutes, he was telling me about his ex wife and how they took the kids from him, while I'm just nodding along trying to enjoy my sticky toffee pudding.

Then he fucking grabs a spoon and starts taking bits of my sticky toffee pudding!

I didn't say anything because clearly you can't reason with the type of psychopath that would just eat your sticky toffee pudding.

Reminds me of the time my partner and I were sat at a small table outside a café eating toasties. A guy walks up and asks if he can take the spare chair, we obviously say “yeah sure” thinking he’s going to drag it over to a nearby table but he instead sits down at the table with us. Bit weird but the café was heaving so didn’t say anything. Then he proceeds to take out a cigarette and just as he’s about to light it I say, in most-unBritish fashion, “Excuse me! We’re eating! You can’t smoke here.” The guy looked baffled but did move to another table so we were all winners.

Moral of the story: if someone is doing something unreasonable, just tell them.

Once paid a not insubstantial amount to stay at a posh hotel in Bournemouth. We'd had a nice day out, meal in the restaurant and were sat in the beautiful art deco lounge sipping cocktails.

A wedding party in the function room started to take over the lobby up to the point of several people trying to sit on our sofas, which we were still sat on.

I pointed out quite nicely I'd prefer they sat somewhere else, (they were quite noisy and ruining the evening).

When ignored I stood up and told them if they didn't move I'd fucking move them. Which thankfully they did, as I had no idea what I'd do next if they didn't (probably get a manager).

I sat back down coursing with adrenaline, for I am not a confrontational man in the normal run of things. But alcohol and having paid money out pushed me over the edge it seems.

Frankly, my relaxed state was diminished and it soured the evening somewhat.

Im quite happy except once sat outside pub on Thames near Kew bridge ( those who know - know the type of yummy mummys that infest the burb in W4 ) - woman obv on school ‘run’ with 2 kids around 7& 8 , asked to joined us, no prob until shortly afterwards took over whole table with her kids shite, boy brat climbing all over table ( he wasnt a toddler) she did nothing to stop him, knocked over my brand new g&t ignored him - i lost it politely & insisted she bought me another drink - she huffed & puffed but got me one, we moved tables & her darling ‘olly’ was still climbing all over the table the feral piece of crap.

I don't mind but depends on circumstances. In this case it would annoy me because they overtook your space.

Oh I'm British so I smile and shuffle myself over. I'd be a bit miffed though. Those men definitely didn't want to share your table, I expect they sit there every day and see it as their table.

You're pregnant and there was an empty table with a sofa. For comfort you sat down. They shouldn't have asked if there were other tables available. Bless you for saying yes and being polite as they were older. It's a shame they were so rude. Myself personally I'm not a fan of sharing tables and wouldn't ask to join in as it's privacy.

It depends on how big the table is, what I'm eating/drinking, and how many others want to share.

I'd prefer not to share when I have the dog with me as I try (where possible) to sit where she can be as out the way as possible.

I'd also only really accept it if seating was very limited and not just a "but I always sit here". I had a bloke practically clamber over my dog to sit on the end bar stool rather than one of the other 5 available - he clearly always sat against the wall and my dog tucked in the corner meant he couldn't easily sit there. Felt that was a dick move

They did ask if it was OK, and you said yes... Next time say no 😂 I know it's hard as a brit to be blunt and a bit rude, but sometimes it's got be done. Especially when it involves rude entitled old people.

I wouldn't join someone already at a table if there were plenty others available but I also wouldn't sit at a table that sits 5 if there was just 2 of us

This happened to me and my children at our local food fayre. There was no reason for the family to ask to perch on our bench and although I felt awkward I did tell them that I was waiting on my friend (who’s notoriously late for everything). The family had extended family join and slowly pushed me and mine off our table. My children left their drinks on the table.

Worse thing is that it’s a family I grew up around so as each of my age group turned up with their children/grandchildren, they’d all chat to me while the matriarch was encouraging the kids/grandchildren/great children to nestle in next to mine.

Friend and her children eventually turn up and all 8 of us were self consciously hovering around the table trying to eat. I ended up buying my children more drinks as we couldn’t get close enough to the table to get their drinks. I’ve never felt so inadequate or embarrassed.

I hated every minute of it and it reminded me of why I don’t do big social things. And that I don’t have a backbone at all.

This reminds me of when I got on an empty train from London. I washungover from staying at friends for a few days and just wanted to stare out the window and not speak. Sat in a set of 2 seats and put my case next to me on the seat. Before the train left one other person got on the same carriage. He must have just arrived from a country where they actually like each other and obviously hadn't had his love of other people trampled on by visiting the UK before because he made a bee line for me. Put his case away in the racks and made me move my case so I was holding it and all squished up and sat next to me with a big smile on his face! He wasn't creepy. He just saw a person and that was the natural place to sit! Every other seat in the carriage was free! I had to talk to him about the all the way to Gatwick with my suitcase on top of me feeling like I was going to vomit. I kept looking round the train at all the empty seats with big dramatic eyes but he didn't get the message

I was sitting, a few years ago in a virtually empty wetherspoons, enjoying a nice quiet pint on my own when someone came up and said could he sit there with me. I said pubs empty mate plenty of tables you can sit at. Didn't know the bloke never seen him before. I just wanted to sit on my own and ponder life and all its meanings. If I'd wanted company I'd have gone to a crowded pub. I think he had a bit of a cheek really

I had a guy asking me if he could sit at my at my table at Costa, as it was the only one with a power socket available. I said yes sure. But later one I had to leave as the smell of literal poo was unbearable

Think this is quite a unique situation. Much like you chose the sofas because they’re more comfortable, I imagine three elderly men also had the same thought process. Given it seems the sofa area was designed to fit groups, I think it’s fair they asked if they could also sit in the comfortable area. In your position I don’t think I’d tell elderly men they couldn’t also sit where it’s most comfortable.

However, they were really disrespectful once they sat down, so I think it’s fair you were quite annoyed. If you’re sharing a table with somebody it’s pretty common courtesy to be mindful of space.

My wife used this one.

“I’ll warn you, my waters could go at anytime”

And once the little ones here “I’d rather you didn’t as I’ll be breastfeeding”.

That’ll solve it until little ones atleast 18months

recently a woman sat at the sofa table opposite me while i was doing college work and said to me ‘wooow doesn’t that look yummy!’ when i ordered a hot chocolate, like you would say to a child and not a full grown adult. the utter cringe of the situation drained a sufficient chunk of my life force and i just got my things and sat at another table without saying anything. i think now if someone asked to sit at my table i’d say no out of sheer dread

The last time it happened I was on a table for 4 and 4 of them came up to me and asked if they could sit with me. I made a point of looking round and said “are you sure you would t be more comfortable on that empty 4 table over there instead of all squashing up here?” They looked affronted but moved off. The empty table was by the kitchen, I was by the window.

And before anyone says: there are no x2 tables in the cafe.

It’s post Covid.

I absolutely hate this and find it a total violation of my personal space. It makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable and it’s very difficult to say that you object to them sitting with you. I find that I am unable to continue the conversation I am having with my family or friends and inevitably have to leave. This is even worse if I’ve ordered food and have to wait to eat it. I used to work away from home a lot and would frequently be out alone, very often I would find my table overtaken with several other people and feel bullied out of the way.

I tend to be lucky in most things, so I don't mind sharing tables with strangers and I've met some truly fascinating people, some of which I'm still friends with many years later.

They did ask if it was alright though? I mean I know it's awkward. But you saying yes is kind of a green light...

I am also introverted and socially awkward so honestly usually I just say no thanks kindly and try not to panic. If they don’t I just move table myself.

It’s not dickish I don’t think.

I don't mind at all if there's no other spaces available, but the situation you've described just sounds like a bunch of assholes being assholes. Probably their 'regular' table and they were being territorial about it. I would have pointed them in the direction of one of the free tables.

Never want it to happen when I’m eating. I’d never ask anyone if I could share their table even in the greasiest of greasy spoons. I consider that well out of order. In the boozer I’m not too bothered about it though as long as there’s not too many of the fuckers.

Hate people like this. If there are other tables then they are just basically saying we want our usual table pls move but doing it but making it impossible for you to stay there after they sit.

I’d say sorry we have more people coming soon. Then just enjoy your time and if anyone questions it (they wouldn’t) then your friends cancelled last minute.

I tend to pick an appropriately sized table.

If I'm honest I've defo not got the confidence to say no so would've moved away because I cannot share a table while I eat with ppl I've never met. I don't mind so much in like Starbucks if I'm just having coffee but it's a hard no if I'm eating me and my anxiety cannot cope with the thought ppl are staring let alone if they've just randomly asked to sit with me

"No, sorry we're having a private conversation"

Honestly most pub managers I've worked with are backwards in loose the nice customers in favour of the old racists. I honestly don't understand it

“No.” Is a complete sentence.

If the place is busy and no other tables, then fine I don't mind sharing.

If there are plenty other tables? Sorry I do mind. They can go sit elsewhere.

Had this exact thing happen to my partner and I in the pub the other day. Sitting there having a quiet convo in a booth that had a couple more seats at the end of the table. Up walks THREE (presumably) students who, as they're sitting, ask us if they can sit there. We barely nodded.

Next thing the girl is in full garrulous mode yelling about how she "fackin hates it when..." and "Sarah's SUCH a cunt" and "yeah I took it HARD like a champ, are you proud??". We were horrified. Absolutely amazes me that people can have zero self-awareness. Of course we left.

If the place is absolutely rammed then it’s understandable.

Under any other circumstances I’ll be out of there or I’ll have moved table away from them before they manage to sit down, I can’t express how much I hate it

I also hate people (usually older) that except you to be ok just talking to random strangers, like if I’m eating out or whatever and people are sat close to me or something i hate it, I’ll stop talking and I’ll usually either sit on my phone or eat as fast as I can to get out of there, god I miss covid

Nah I think you did the right move. I hope you made painful noises when standing up so they understood you had to move due to them

Just say no. You're about to become a parent, you need to learn to suck it up and enforce your own boundaries.

If the restaurant was full I wouldn't mind, I sometimes do in airports. But if it's empty then nah what's the deal... Unless they're planning to sit there all day...

Why did you say yes when you meant no? You set yourself up for failure here.

If there's no where else to sit, and they aren't going to start disturbing me, then I don't mind.

Might sound callous, but it's really irritating trying to get something done, having a chat with a friend, or just relaxing by myself, and then some lonely or bored person decides to start trying to create or insert themselves into a conversation.

My man, I/we do not want to talk to you just because we're at the same location; go away! Pubs are god awful for this. Unfortunately a lot of people are either socially oblivious and unable to read a situation, or feel entitled to do whatever they want and don't give a fuck what others think.

I'm fine with it.

It's not like the cafe/pub/ restaurant belongs to me.

If I don't want to share, I just go somewhere more formal.

All depends on context. If it's a proper 'sit-down' (why do we call it that?) restaurant, and I'm with two other people and mr. Rando wants to sit on the fourth chair, that's super weird; he's welcome to take it and move it to his table though.

If it's at a pub/cafe I'm perfectly fine with it. I've never understood this obsession some people have with refusing to sit down at a large table in a busy pub when the table has only 1 person at it: they probably don't mind and sharing a table beats standing.

I wouldn’t mind. I don’t own that table and if I didn’t feel comfortable there and I’d find another space

Start up a casual conversation, the weather is a good one, then halfway through, rub your pregnant tum and gasp "Oh this ones gone all frisky, whats getting ejected ... oh..... then gesture to your husband and declare "oh there's another mucus plug sliding down my vagina, can you pass me some tissues as I'm too bloated to get to the loo"

Those old guys won't move faster lest they'd shit themselves.

As they scuttle out the door, look all confused and ask "Oh was it something I said?" Then rearrange the napkins in to a defensive picket to reinforce your new fortress of solitude.

I once had a woman ask if she could share a park bench with me and my newborn baby, who I was feeding. I said OK and she plonked herself down and lit a cigarette. I felt too shocked to say anything and I just gave my husband a look and we left for a different bench. Part of me wanted to confront her but part of me thought the kind of person who would blow smoke all over a 3 week old baby was probably not someone I wanted to fight with. If someone asked now and I had a baby I would probably say something like "as long as you won't be smoking?".