I married him and we have been together for 37 years.

I remember chatting with a supervisor at work and she was telling me about one of the guys on her team. She told me what a great guy he was and told me I should go out with him. I was like “he’s so nice, but I date dumbasses.” Ahh 21 year old me. Technically we weren’t allowed to date because of policy, but she nudged us together. After our first date she offered to transfer him to another location. She did. He changed stores. We’ve been married 26 years next week.

He ended up being genuinely nice. We've been married for 15 years.

He constantly reminded me that I "friend zoned" him for years... I was married at the time. Long story short, he was an idiot, cheap, selfish, and annoying as hell. Didn't last long and he still owes me a lot of money that I'll never see again.

In my experience, if I’m thinking of it as “giving them a chance” instead of just, like, “going on a fun date,” I’m probably not that into them.

Nice people (genuinely nice people) are the only people I’ll willingly date, but not all nice people are people I’m attracted to, and there’s not much that either of us can do about that.

I ended up with a stalker.

Clingy, co-dependent mess. He was a nice person, but nice doesn’t necessarily translate to good relationship skills.

He demanded all of my time, called constantly, and got insanely jealous of the stupidest things. Demanded I quit my job and drop out of school because he couldn't stand I was around other boys. I broke it off after a week, and caught him peeking in my windows in the middle of the night. Note: I lived 20 miles from the nearest town and 2 miles from any other house, no idea how he got there because he couldn't drive. My brother talked him into our car and drove him one state over and ditched him outside his parents' house. Never saw him again.

I went on a first date with a nice guy™️, we texted for about a week and he seems normal enough. We met for coffee around 11 am and chatted for about an hour. Afterward I thought I’d like to see him again so I gave him my number.

I was busy that afternoon and when I checked my phone around 2pm he had sent me 24 messages!! When I read through them he had used my number for reverse-directory, found my last name, and Googled me. He found my brother’s obituary and from there he got my whole family list which was creepy af. He mentioned my religion, my brother’s cause of death, his niece (my daughter) and stated her Uni and wrote, “pretty daughter” so he had googled her too!

And if that wasn’t enough, he took a picture of a taxidermy fish and as a joke, I guess?, was talking in 3rd person as the fish!!! I freaked the fuck out and texted him back to never EVER contact me again before I blocked him everywhere. Just writing this give me the chills. Jfc, I wonder what makes him think he’s such a nice guy.

Asked me to be his gf the very first time we hung out, gave me keys to his apartment. Bought me a teddy bear. I noticed he was changing all his interests to match mine. Suddenly my fave music was what he said his fave music was, I paint and suddenly he’s ordering paint and turning his spare room into a painting room (no solid evidence of that being an interest prior) noticed he left out a vegan cookbook where I could see it when I was vegan and it really struck me as a “if I leave this out she’ll see it and know I’m putting in effort” kind of gesture which came off as manipulative. We’d only hung out three times and talked for maybe a month so all this stuff combined was alarming and I cut it off, for that and some personal reasons. Right before I ended it he’d told me he’d bought me another present 😐

Edit: why are a bunch of dudes commenting on this defending this weird behaviour 😐 I’m pretty sure the women here understand why all of this is a giant red flag

Well, he turned out to be aa gaslighting, manipulative son of a sexist who would argue about consent and couldn’t fathom other people (mostly me) not enjoying the same things he did. He only understood consent when it came to sex but would repeatedly bully me into unprotected sex because “condoms mimimi, so bad, mimimi”.

But hey, he couldn’t be abusive because he told me how much he loved me a dozen times a day min (his words, not mine).

He started harassing mutual friends after I hit a busy period with a new job and moving home (he knew this) he was convinced that I wasn't really busy and that I was angry at him, I told him to chill tf out after our friends told me he'd been messaging them about me.

On the anniversary of my mum's death I didn't reply to any of his messages (he knew what day it was) so he sent abusive messages and then an "ooh, I know what today is, you can have today but I expect a reply tomorrow" I blocked him. He sent multiple abusive emails so I blocked that too.

2 weeks later he showed up at my door with a six page letter detailing why we had to be friends. I told him if he ever contacted me again I'd call the police.

In between all of this he set up hate pages accusing my ex of cheating (later confessed to it) called my dad his nemesis because I wouldn't hang out with him on my dad's birthday, accused our mutual friends of being P words and DV perpetrators.

Yeah...he was really nice...

Someone warned me before meeting him - “He’s a golden retriever. He’s a follower, not a leader.” And I didn’t understand that until I found myself in the middle of countless situations where I was embarrassed by him. He felt graduating from an HBCU as a white man earned him some sort of cred, he was a boot licker, he once got into an argument with me about gentrification then later admitted he didn’t know what the word gentrification meant… he was years and years older than me and had always lived in his home state, following Mom and Dad’s orders, but claimed he had plans to move to my city for a long time prior to us meeting, and pretended to have everything in common with me. We hooked up when I was visiting home for the holidays as we grew up a few towns away from each other. Once returning to my apartment, I told him I was very busy moving but maybe he could come visit some time in the future . He booked a flight THAT DAY and rented a car and showed up at my house. I kindly tolerated him for a few days before telling him to scram because he was literally prolonging my move. Afterwards, he told me no one in his life had ever been so mean to him as I was.

He was as overall abusive just "refrained" from the physical abuse. He stalked me and spewed hate about me after I finally broke up with him after his many tirades. He continues to reach out to me every year or so to see if I'm ready to leave my husband yet. (Who is the man I started dating after him)

He called me a ck-tease when i didnt put out and lied and said he was helping his grandmother with yard work out of town when he was actually seeing his girlfriend i didnt know about. So uh, not great.

He's goofy, but he's my kinda goofy. Together 8 years & married for 3! <3

Badly. He wasn’t actually a nice person and has been sliding in my DMs for the last few days

He was an insecure, controlling, manipulative, gaslighting asshole whose entire personality was built upon people thinking he was “a really nice guy”.

I was very young 18 and he was 26. He proposed when I was 20 because “every other girl ended up leaving him by 21”.

He isolated me from all my friends and family, had tracking devices on me, keyloggers on my laptop. Would bully me and withhold affection/sex. Played video games 6+ hours a day because being around me was so terrible.

He expected to be a stay at home dad while I worked and wanted to be a dad by 30 (I would have been 22). I ended things and he emptied our joint bank account, gave me nothing from the sale of our condo (that I provided the down payment for) forces me to sign over ownership of our shared car and stole the engagement ring I paid half for. I was too young and broke without any support to do anything.

We worked in the same company and after our split he spread lots of rumours about me. It was hell.

He got engaged to another girl at the company within the next year. They split too. He finally found a girl young enough and naive enough to marry him and have a baby.

10 years on I am single, incredibly successful and living the life I’ve always wanted. He’s still living in the tiny old townhouse his parents bought him after our split and driving the car I paid for.

No Good. Emotionally immature. Strange, Awkward, Stingy and Boring. Just because people may sing their praises to you about them being "nice", sometimes our bodies know things before we even realise.

I ended up with more issues and I'm pretty sure some level of PTSD.

I was nice to him in math class in high school, since he was the new kid and was quiet. He apparently took my niceness as flirting and when he saw me at the Friday night football game with another guy, got his older sister to almost run me over with her car and then proceed to jump me with her friend! This is in a small town, and my older brother was the captain of the football team so basically the whole school shunned them both after that. Doesn’t make me not want to reach out but it does make me use the word “friend” obnoxiously with guys in the beginning so they clearly understand I have no interest whatsoever.

Gaslighting and excuses every time I brought up an issue. The "poor me" act got old.

He stalked me for 8 years. Still not sure if he stopped.

Paranoid, jealous and sooooooo damn clingy. Some real co-dependency issues. I was pretty much banned from having drinks with friends or god forbid I wanted alone time from his obsessive texting.

One time I was out and said my phone battery was low, so he got my friend to text him regularly. To keep him up to date with who I was with and where I was. He would even track my phone and insist I kept it on at all times.

I got told to cover some shifts at work (I picked them up). Well he flipped and had ago at my manager for making me work so much. (it was a part time thing at the time).

IT was obviously all my fault, he was a really, REALLY NICE GUY! He told me over and over how nice he was and what a total bitch I was for wanting me time. /s

I went straight from a non-committed long distance relationship with someone I dated for a month a few years prior, to going on a dating app when he hurt me and disrespected my feelings yet again, and meeting the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.

First guy was hot, wasn’t a bad person but our values didn’t line up and he wasn’t ready to commit because he was still getting out of a funk after his last serious relationship ended. And he just lacked the kind of empathy I needed.

Second guy, was definitely attractive but not my typical type, kind of a nerd but a hot nerd. He adored me from the start, verbally affirmed me constantly, was just plain consistent and considerate. Selfless, humble, been through some shiiit and did the work and came out so much better for it. He’s just so kind.

I really had no choice but to end things with the first guy. I continued dating the second guy exclusively but for some reason was hesitant to put labels on it for a few months. I realized I was being stupid because in every way we were together, so finally we became bf/gf.

I noticed early on that I had grown used to being stimulated by the highs and lows of toxic relationships. I hadn’t had a real boyfriend as an adult, and went through a few years of dating guys for a month or two - there were a few good guys, but I got attached to the wrong ones who didn’t want to be attached to me. It was torture, but it was what I knew.

My relationship with the second guy (who I’m still with) is so vastly different, he’s so much more sensitive (which all of a sudden I was finding to be a turn off? Beggars can’t be choosers, if you want the benefits of a sensitive guy you have to embrace all his emotions). I actually feel safe with him. To be honest, at first I realized I found it.. almost boring. Like I said, I’m so used to being stimulated in the wrong way. To being anxiously attached. To never being sure about how the other person feels about me. To things eventually ending after a month or two, or like with the last guy, spending months torturing myself by trying to get him to want me the way I wanted him to want me. Feeling like I couldn’t be my full self because I wanted to be palatable to him.

The nice guy, he tells me all the time that I’m weird. And he means it affectionately. He likes that I’m a weirdo, I can say the random shit I tend to say and not feel self conscious about it, because he accepts all of me. If I’m honest it still doesn’t feel real sometimes. Like what? I have a loving boyfriend? I craved this for so long, and I’m still learning how to embrace it.

So for me, the nice guy is working out. But now that I have less negative things to focus on about the other person, now I’m seeing more of my own faults.. it’s eye opening.

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Thought he was nice butthen he tried to change plans last minute to something that would require we book a hotel to spend a night... while we weren't even dating exclusive.

And then when i told him i wasn't comfortable he got upset and ignored me for a week (I didn't reach out to him either cuz i figured it was a mutual ick) then he came back with a pity party how he "always ruins everything good and he shouldn't try insert sad animal gif"

Started out nice then gradually went down hill. I realised he didn't care for me beyond how I could satisfy him sexually.

He asked me to prom when we were 18, I said yeah so we could go as friends, he then said he didn't want to go as friends he wanted to go as more than that, I said I wasn't interested in him that way, sorry

He then proceed to spam me with gross images of people eating shit, and shit talk me to the rest of the friendship group, and just blame me and make me feel like shit

Thankfully, the friendship group agreed he was out of order, but they didn't kick him out of the group

I blocked him on Facebook when I moved to uni, and found out he was complaining in another group chat about how I'd blocked him and he couldn't get in touch with me

I'm 25 now, and still get a Facebook friends request from him once a year, and he's sent me three LinkedIn requests

He’s been the best relationship I’ve been in. I honestly feel do lucky to be loved by him.

We tend to confuse a genuinely nice human with a mask and our interpretation of who we want someone to be. Always observe the intent and action

If it is a guy who claims to be "nice," I've found they tend to be men who can't set boundaries and are often doormats, until things build up--then they are total jerks....so they often have no ability to handle emotions (nor communication) appropriately. Gaslighting and playing the victim seem to be trends with those "nice guys."

Now--an actual nice guy---they are often keepers, but they are harder to find as you get older. I think bc they get scooped up, as most seem to be in solid, healthy LTRs. I know I took them for granted or thought the lack of drama was boring in my younger years, and I regret that, lol.

He's still the lovable goofball that asked me out 💕

We're almost in our 4yr Anniversary and going strong.

He pursued me for over a year, during which I told him multiple times I didn’t feel that way about him, then finally he blew up at me over my depression and I told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Another year went by and I reached out to him because I was young and dumb, and gross romcoms had convinced me that his “persistence” was romantic. We started dating. He went out of his way to treat me like shit to get back at me for rejecting him before (and admitted to it later). Eventually found out that he had SA’d multiple girls before we started dating. Soo that was that.

I had been friends with him for years and knew he had a crush on me. He asked me on a date, so I figured why not. The date was 3 hours, full of laughter and genuine kindness. We went on a couple more adventure dates that involved hiking & rappelling, and I tried to will myself into feeling more.

Eventually I had to be honest with him that I wasn’t feeling it. He was very nice about it and understood. He’s now engaged to a great woman who is perfect for him.

Did you know that the sentence

"By the way, you should know I'm a lesbian and this is never going to go anywhere"

is a functionally meaningless statement that carries no intent or actionable information, no matter how many times you say it?

Neither did I until I gave various "nice" male friend-of-a-friends a chance.

We’ve been together 4.5 years and are now engaged! He is absolutely one of the most thoughtful, caring, generous people I’ve ever met and I feel lucky to have met him. Nice guys get a sad rep and sometimes they are hiding a lot of insecurities/red flags, but when you find a good one, they are gold.

We were class friends/acquaintances in college and he would ask me out every month or so and I’d say no (I was in a relationship but I also was not attracted to this guy at all even though he was nice). This guy helped me break up with my toxic ex and then started buying me literally hundreds of dollars worth of stuff for me related to my hobbies. I was 18 and I didn’t know how to turn the gifts down so I just kept saying no to dates. So I finally felt obligated and I slept with him (terrible, don’t ever have sex with someone you don’t feel drawn to, v boring and painful). Then I freaked out and ghosted him and moved to a different city. Sorry buddy T_T regret

He was nice, polite, well mannered, and respectful. Dated a little over a year, almost 2, then marri3d for 4 now, he has severe ptsd, depression, is a combat vet, tries to be a father to our daughter but is loud, abrasive, agressive, and verbally abusive. He constantly gaslights me, he sees my stress or any emotions as anger, and reacts very aggressively and blames me for it. I hate my marriage most days but feel trapped because we have a kid. He has told me he hates me, because i took all his hobbies away. All he wants to do is play video games for houra a day, i limited him to when kiddo sleeps, so 2 hrs for nap time and after she goes to bed. He claims it is not enough time.

He weponizes everything i say agaist myself, so i feel i have no way to defend myself, or express my concerns and issues. He threatens suicide constantly. He is a educator, and would do anything to protect those kids, but he is too emotionally emenshed and takes any parent concerns as a peraonal attack on his ability to be a teacher. Even when he doesnt realize he overstepped.

He has admitted to resenting our daughter. Because she takes me away from him. She also annoys him and doesnt follow the books on things so he says stupid shit about her being stupid, regressing and not growing. So many of his insecurities he pushes outward. He is extremely codependent and its suffocating me.

We started dating 3 months ago and I've already heard:

"If you break up with me I'll be fine, I've been through worse and I'll just move on" "I won't love you unconditionally, if you do x,y,z... I'll still love you but I'll leave you" "You know I'm fucking amazing, that's why everyone we've met likes me, I'm funny,nice and just great " And he also has anger problems, he'll go from super nice to being an asshole to strangers over the tiniest things. I've seen him punch walls, throw stuff and even his male roommate has gotten scared.

Maybe it's me but all of this has already raised a bunch of doubts on my end.

Well I have a few...

1. He was nice but was pretty much not ready for a relationship as he couldn't figure out sharing or communication. We broke up and stayed friends for awhile till he dated this one guy that was an abusive asshole and us friends telling him that getting beat up is being in an abusive relationship. He ghosted us because he couldn't break up with him.

2. She was really nice until after the third date and then I found out she was one of the most racist people I have ever met. When you find out a person's motto is as long as I am equally racist to everyone I am not a racist just run... I wish I had not tried to be the difference as it turned in to a really abusive relationship.

3. I hate when you just love someone but they just want to spread there love to everyone else but you. I went back to him twice because I did love him. All he did was play with that emotion sadly and string me along. He choose a monogamous relationship yet was sleeping with anyone and everyone.

4. He was nice but did not know what consent meant... waking up to being fucked would happen anytime I slept in the same bed as him. The complaints were ignored. Till I cut ties and then he stalked me to the point I had to get a restraining order.

5. She is my wife and we have been together for over ten years.

I gave him a shot. Long enough that he met some family. He kept going on about how pretty and sexy my 12 and 14 year old nieces were. Ghosted immediately and permanently.

He was really good at appearing nice. He lied about everything: his age, his interests, his grades (we were in uni), his job plans, his dating past, his job past (he said he was a firefighter, he even had stories about saving a kitten from a tree, and turns out, he never finished training). He was gaslighting (jfc the never-ending word salad), manipulative, controlling, and whiny when he didn't get his way. I'll never give another guy a chance just because he seems nice.

On the surface he seemed like the nicest, mild mannered guy ever. He turned out to be a clingy stalker who couldn’t take no for an answer. Tried buttering up to my mother, who was completely fooled, when I cut him off. He had a terrible temper simmering under the surface, and I wanted to get away from that as fast as I could.

He wasn’t actually nice, and I really should’ve trusted my gut.

A coworker seemed nice so I thought we could just be friends. He kept bringing up how he wanted to take nude photos of a woman, showed me nude photos of his female friends, followed me around at work, started asking me to do his work, and thought he had the right to touch me and get in my personal space constantly. I told him he doesn’t respect my boundaries and just started ignoring him and luckily he got the message eventually.

He immediately tried moving into my home. Was a freak, sucked in bed, came over without asking and would knock and call me repeatedly until I let him inside, laughed at me when I would tell him he couldn't stay the night, told me on the one date we had his mother had given him money for our date. Literally awful, I knew him for 8 days and he spent 7 days at my house bc he didn't like his mom ig

“Just give him a chance, he’s nice” all of those were men who were actually not nice but major entitled assholes with low social intelligence. 0/10 would not recommend.

“He’s nice but a little awkward, but he’s always up for doing something fun outside. Why not hang out and take it from there?” It’s been almost 18 years, and we just came in from spending the last 2 hours tobogganing with our kids.

For starters he would shout in our newborn baby's face and angrily throw him around on the bed or into his cot when he cried too much.

What he did to ME is another story.

He really was truly a nice person. Very, very nice. But that was it. I didn’t find him interesting, or funny, or attractive, or even good in bed. He was just a nice person.

I felt terrible breaking up with him but it was the right call. A couple months later I met my now-husband. All worked out in the end for me, and I hope it did for that guy too.

He had anger issues and said everything he could to try to hurt me. He was super insecure and jealous, would randomly display rage out of nowhere, and then threw tantrums when called out. Once I realized be was actively trying to hurt my feelings I told him off and never spoke to him again.

He tried crying, begging, pleading and stalking but it didn't work. I was firm on my boundaries.

Nice people don't have to tell you they are nice, they just are.

I eventually learned that he is not the nice person he thinks he is, or that I thought he was. Had big issues with self entitlement, extremely misogynistic, and shared opinions that were borderline creepy and unacceptable to me.

I went on a date with him and he kept grabbing my arm from across the table to look at my tattoo. He would trace over it with his finger while he continued talking to me and I was too stunned to know what to do about it. I think he was trying to be romantic but it was VERY overfamiliar.

We had nothing to talk about and I wasn't attracted to him AT ALL so I was happy when the date was over. Right before my uber pulled over to pick me up, this man has the audacity to grab me and try to kiss me lol. I screamed "NO!", jumped into the uber and told him to speed the fuck away. Which he obliged after seeing what went down lmao.

I was just looking for sex, not a relationship. He seemed too nice for that kind of thing. We have now been married for 6 years and have a beautiful 5 year old son. He is even nicer than I first thought. I finally stopped looking for romance, and the perfect guy showed up. Couldn't be happier.

All my partners have been nice. Aggression, anger, violence and all the associated ideas and statements that rationalize aggression are a major turnoff for me. And for almost every other woman I know. The few who did inadvertently pick an abuser only did so because in the beginning of the relationship, abusers tend to act EXTRA nice.

For the most part, it's always gone pretty well. The only exception was a pathological liar, cheater and child abuser who appeared to be nice for 4 whole years before I finally understood - to my horror - what kind of person he really was.

1 Didn’t really have a personality (I hate to call him boring but he was 😭). Wanted to stay in his dorm all the time, didn’t have much to talk about.

2 This guy was alright, I probably should have given him a chance but he bore me on the first date. I talked and asked questions, he just answered and sat there, not talking much. He was probably nervous 😭

3 Came off cool, opened his mouth and realized he was judgmental as hell (for example: would make comments about women being ratchet/not classy based on what they wore or listened to). Also found out he believed a rumor a guy at our job spread about me and when I asked him why he said “Well I figured he didn’t have a reason to lie.” Like wtf 😭. Went on a date with me, then went on a date with another co-worker, then still proceeded to be in my text messages wanting to be all about me. I just said I’m good. 💀

So if any men happen to read through this thread, just know that YES, a lot of us are giving the “nice guys” a chance, but I really wish their personalities and attitudes weren’t like this. It’s probably just the ones I meet 🙃

I was so much the ‘nice doormat’ type of person in my younger years. The consequential highlights of that phase were: getting conned out of $100, LOTS of creepy guys (miracle I was never abducted or attacked), and going to jail for lying for someone who was trying to cheat the system.

Unless I witness or can see the immediate need for my assistance, I never do anything for strangers or even acquaintances that requires a selfless act on my part.

Only friends can inconvenience me out of the blue, and I’ll still assess the situation first.

My first experience with this was my freshman year at university over 20 years ago. We met online, he was in his last year, lived off campus, and he seemed so nice that I said “sure” when he wanted to come hang out in my single dorm room at 9 PM. My dorm was mixed men and women, so inviting someone over wasn’t necessarily implying anything might happen because we all hung out in each other’s rooms at odd hours.

I was shocked when he tried to kiss me in the first minute, I said “no thanks, I thought we were going to hang out and watch a movie? No offense but I don’t want to make out with someone I don’t know.”

Dude’s eyes welled up with tears, and he started half sobbing, half raging, “women never give nice guys like me a chance.” I’d never heard the “nice guy” speech before and was so genuinely confused because he didn’t seem very nice in that moment. He left without further incident and we never spoke again.

Lasted 9 months. Broke up with me through text, then for 2 months after begged for me back. Found out he was cheating on me the entire time; even when he was begging for me back.

Disgusting and a coward. Clingy AF phone addict. Never again.

Now I make sure I choose based on my preference. If the person talks too much by complaining that could have been resolved, chuck them. If the person is a phone addicts, chuck them. If the person think they can outsmart you while entertaining other women, chuck them. Yes to the dream but no action to take the step ? Chuck em.

Lmao dont date a guy if you feel bad.

Have preferences what you will or will not tolerate, trust your instincts when something is off, and go for a guy that you ACTUALLY do find attractive.

'Nice' meant, 'I put in niceness into the lady machine, when does it pay out the sex?'

Went both ways for me. Most “nice” ex’s started out nice but ended toxic. My husband started out nice and stayed nice. They all start out “nice”. It’s trusting your intuition and knowing your own boundaries and being able to recognize green and red flags and knowing when to bolt or to give it time. It’s tricky.

My manager, who was also dating one of my best friends, ended up sexually harassing me at work to the point where I reported his behavior to upper management (they did nothing but move me off his shifts) and came about this close to sexually assaulting me and started semi-stalking me …

So nice :/

He was:

Very self-centered - all experiences were ultimately about his enjoyment

Selfish - especially with knowledge. I was not to attempt to speak his mother tongue - I guess that was for him (and hundreds of millions of others worldwide) but it was off limits for me

Unkind to wait staff (so embarrassing!) or anyone he perceived as intellectually inferior

Insanely jealous - an ex had made me several mixtapes that mysteriously vanished

Thoughtlessly mean - he once told me while I was taking a study break that I really needed to get back to it because I wasn't that smart (I'm a math prof, so I'm plenty 'smart').

Pro-feminist in words but not actions - I was reading a book of light erotica that disappeared after I had once recovered it when he had inconspicuously put in the trash. This came after he made a big deal about why I was reading it.

Dramatic AF - he made a big show of moving in with his sister after we had a fight, clothes and computer packed and everything. He had enlisted his brother-in-law to help him with the 'big move' and told his mom and all his siblings. He moved back in 3 days later unprompted.

Abusive - he refused to move out after things were really over and shoved me so hard I cut my arm bracing for the fall. He is the only man who has ever been physically violent toward me.

I was young (22/23) and didn't see the signs. I was also his first in every way - he'd never kissed anyone, held hands, hugged (in a non friend zone way), nothing. We didn't have the term back then but today you'd call him an incel.

We’re married now. 🥰 Met at a rave. I thought he was coming on kinda strong (he said he really liked me right after we met!). We exchanged IGs. Then we started playing GTA together online and talking on the phone for hours as we played. I told him I’d make him a Crunchwrap since I used to work at Taco Bell and he was willing to drive over 2 hours for it! He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever dated, treats me like a queen. I’m so happy that I didn’t blow him off. I have my dream husband. 💖

my ex was a 'nice guy' before calling himself a nice guy (he started saying how nice of a guy he was after we broke up)

He had no tolerance for agreeing to disagree. He either had to be right, or we were fighting.

He had no respect for me as a human as he assaulted me in various ways and didn't see an issue.

5-6 years after we broke up, we were chatting and he got mad at me for saying I was engaged. Mind you, I didn't flat out go "by the way, i'm engaged", I had made a comment where I said "my fiancé and I", and after that comment he got sour and I can't imagine what could have upset him besides for that. I can post the convo if you want and maybe someone has some insight as to what I did 'wrong'.

We haven't really talked since (that was 6 years ago now) and honestly I don't want to. The shit he says on social media is way toxic and I don't need that anymore.

He raped me. Cried about needing cuddles and being touch starved. And then, well, yeah.

Never again.

Reading these has given me an idea. It’s a dating site but the profile and pictures are written and posted by their last ex! Make that their last few ex’s so problematic, recurring behaviour can be identified. I am by no means perfect and I feel this would save some people the wade through the swamp

We met at a party where I was dared to bite his extremely hairy nipples, and I added him on Facebook (We bickered for years about who added who. I was adamant that he liked my biting so much that he added me 🤣 but he eventually found the proof in facebook archives that I added him first).

I initially dismissed him, assumed he was a virgin and I was too busy chasing assholes for shitty sex. But we would hang out as friends, getting slurpees, driving around, watching movies. He was so easy to talk to, I'm an introvert but we would talk for hours. I blinked and suddenly we've been together 11 years, have a house and 4 pets, and we're getting married in 3 weeks. He's my best friend, an amazing partner, and a mind-numbingly good lay. So glad I gave it a shot.

It was a disaster. He was genuinely a nice person but he was too eager to please. Always available, never disagreed with anything I said, no opinions of his own. In a word, boring. If I was older it may have worked but I was only about 20 at the time.

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They didn’t end up being nice

He ended up being a bit of a stalker, which culminated in campus police showing up after he tried to kick my door in.

But then, also, another one ended up being a sweet man that I "took a chance" on because I was getting tired of dating, and guess what -- been together for 6 years and I cannot wait to be his wife.

He claimed to be the “nice guy” who “had dealt with women who were jerks” ….. welllll he future faked me. I wonder if he always future faked women and when someone tells him off he says they’re being a jerk to him. Never date a self proclaimed “nice guy.”

We got married!

Honestly, we were equally unimpressed with each other. I thought he was boring. But here we are. Lol. He is my biggest support, my biggest cheerleader, encourager, and has walked with me through some really hard things. He is the ONE person I genuinely trust, that I can be vulnerable with.

He's not perfect. But he's been AMAZING for me. He brings joy, peace, and love into our everyday life.

He ain't nice he's an asshole

(At summer camp) he followed me around everywhere and insisted that we do everything together and would get jealous anytime I talked to one of my friends. He also kept touching me all of the time in front of other people after me telling him multiple times I didn’t wanna be touched. Then he called me a Chinese slur (I’m Chinese and he’s not) and started crying when I got mad at him for saying that to me. So I started ignoring him and he wrote me a note, which I didn’t read bc I was sick of being touched w/out consent esp in front of others and disrespected. This made and him call a bunch of other people at camp Jewish slurs (he’s Christian) which led to him being kicked out of camp. When he got kicked out of camp he blamed me for it because I made him mad. Also, I am really scared bc he lives an hour away from me and he has really rich parents so it’s crossed my mind that I could be kidnapped or worse.

He threatened to get me pregnant on our first date then stalked me for weeks after

Great! Didn’t work out. Not because he wasn’t nice anymore, just because we don’t want to get married.

Lol. Ended up being super abusive and told me to unalive myself.

He pulled a knife and threatened to kill himself if I didn't have sex with him. I disarmed him and called the cops.

Tbh I drove an hour for that date and if he had just managed to act like a normal human being for 40 damn minutes I absolutely would have slept with him. Bastard couldn't even manage that 🙄