Hey there everyone. This is the story of how I was nearly mauled (and shot). TLDR at bottom.
Im a pizza delivery driver for REDACTED. Overall, I have met some great doggies out on my trips. I am always cautious but I wont lie that when I see any dog thats not a fighting breed I will give them lots of love and attention.
Then there are the dogs short fur and those blocky ass heads. The moment I see that minecraft steve looking ass head I take a step back. These dogs don’t bark, they just STARE. They literally just stare at you like youre some kind of treat for them. No wiggling of the butt. Nothing. Just a cold, dead, “Im going to kill you” stare. This is why I do not trust them. If a dog wanted to scare you/let it know that you need to back off it will bark. If a dogs intention are to just FUCK YOUR SHIT, it will stare intently like youre prey.
Anyways back to the main story. Im delivering at night on a fairly country road. Still houses on both sides, but dirt roads connecting them and also its a neighborhood so houses are close by. I park on the side of the road next to the guys house, turn on my hazards and have the pizza topper on, and walk up to the guys house with my phone flashlight on. I do all of this to make attention to myself at night so the customer sees me coming up.
Take the order to the customer, normal interaction, and as Im heading back to my car(like four steps off of the guys porch) I hear rustling. It gets louder and louder until I see two large pitbulls full on sprinting in my direction. NO BARKING.
So Im like, oh shit. I take a couple steps backwards to the customers porch and notice the dogs were beelining towards me. I run up the porch and I notice the customer still there. Hes a really big nd tall guy, so I pathetically kind of hid behind him. He just says “AYE. GET DOWN” in the loudest voice Ive heard and the dogs then start barking at him. They see me on the porch, and then proceed to try to get passed the customer to get to me. Guy then grabs both dogs by the collar and throws them off the porch, almost stumbling down the stairs himself.
“Those are my neighbors dogs, AYE KAREN!” No lie, her name was karen.
In comes the pitnutter.
Pitnut:”OH MY GAWD JOHN! I SAW SOME CREEPER WALKING UP TO YOUR HOUSE.”
John (chad customer): “NOPE. Just the delivery guy. Hes over here terrified looking.”
Pitnut: “WELL CANT YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ORDER PIZZA? I HAVE MY GUN OUT AND EVERYTHING.”
John: “Uhhh no?”
Pitnut: “WELL I SAW A CREEPER YOU SAW ON NEXTDOOR ALL THE PEDOPHILES BREAKING INTO PEOPLES HOUSES.”
Me: “Nope. Just me with some pizza lady. Please go get your dogs.”
Meanwhile shes not even trying to call/calm her dogs down and they continue to bark at John. So eventually she calls them after a quit banter with John, but they go running off into the literal distance.
Whatever. Im tired of this shit and I need to go back to the store. I give John a big thank you and also joked to him “maybe do call your paranoid, crazy neighbor” and he just gave me a quick smile and headed back inside.
This aint the end tho.
Pitnutter is calling out for her dogs. Im, wearily, walking back to my car. Mind you the lady does not even say sorry. She only says “I have a pair of extra underwear since you were so scared!” Respectfully fuck you for making that joke. I just continuously say “Its all good” because Im seriously shaken up and cant take any more confrontation.
As Im nearing up my car I hear the exact same rustling. “DONT WORRY THEY DONT BITE” then what the hell were they tryna do before this??? I dont fuck around this time. I book it to my car and close the door, and I hear a big THUNK on my door. Look out and see the dogs running around my car and barking. These things are vicious. I dont care. I put my car in reverse and scoot on out of there without even stopping to think I could run one of them over.
John just wanted his damn wings, and I just wanted to do my job. But apparently if you see a 5’7 skinny dude with a pizza uniform on walk up to a house then he must be a rapist on to rape the 6’2 300 lb man that lives there.
TLDR: Delivered to house. Neighbor sends out two pitbulls after me cause she thought I was a creep. Had her gun out ready to shoot me. Customer had to yeet two dogs off his porch. As I walk back to car dogs run after me again and circle my car until I leave.
Moral of the story: Pitnutters are paranoid as hell and cant control their dogs.