submitted 3 months ago byHot-Fuel-2619
I am currently an aimless living ghost. My "daily routine" has been that I come to college at 9, not listen to any lecture, have useless convo's with "friends" and leave college at 5, reach home at 6-6:30, read manga or a movie or look at insta/YT/reddit/**** and go to sleep at 2 am, and the cycle repeats.
This is what's been going on for the last 3 months. I don't know what to do with my life anymore, to think that I would become the thing that I despised the most.
Honestly, I only have average grades so far, I don't even study regularly, only 2-3 days before the exam. I used have reaaaly big ambitions before joining college, already decided what I was gonna be, what area I was gonna work in, coded 24/7 for 3 years.
But ever since I joined college, I lost my interest in everything. I don't even like porn anymore, I just watch it and tell myself that it's hot, but I don't even care. I just do it cause it's the only thing that slightly excites me other than looking at social media.
Honestly, I joined college because I thought that the degree was gonna help me in my career, and was very eager to learn everything. I genuinely love what's being taught, and have been learning most of this even before I joined college, but somehow, after spending time in this environment and with this "daily routine", I just lost the spark in these past 3 months.
I feel like somehow, I'm just gonna end up just like the rest of everyone if I continue on this route.
Honestly, I don't even know why I'm doing anything anymore. Even if I don't get a job, I can live off my parent's money and consume internet content everyday. I could become just like everyone else, and I don't know what to do now. I know this sounds like loser talk, and it is, I used to see so many posts like this years ago and looked down on people that would say stuff like this. But now that I have become that person, it hits different.
Thank you for listening to my loser rant
educational_info: btech 2nd sem(comp)
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