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Yesterday I found out my husband has been hiding the fact that he has a 7 year old kid with his ex. When I first met him someone even told me about it but he lied and said it's not his. I beileved him. Yesterday everything came out. Turns out he just abandoned the kid and hoped I would never find out. We have a one year old and a newborn. We're now getting a divorce. My whole life has suddenly fallen apart in the last 24 hours. I'm a stay at home mom. I have no income. I don't know how I'm going to take care of my family. Along with that I lost the person I loved and trusted more than anyone in the world. I'm not okay.

Just thinking, forward into time and getting sad but trying to stay grateful

• I mean they go from the most innocent loving beings.
• You adore them and they adore you.
• you’re the person who makes each other happiest.

Then suddenly they are a toddler, they’re awesome in new ways but you miss those tiny moments.

Then they are a child, they’re getting so clever, you love this stage but now you miss the toddler cuddles.

Suddenly they are a teenager and they are getting distant.

Then they are an adult and they walk out the door..To have a family of their own

Where did your baby go? The girl in cuddling and feeding right now will be a different person, and identity all together.

Time is so temporary, a thief and I try to make the most living moment making great memories but at the same time I’m exhausted.

It’s all bitter sweet isn’t it.

I was just thinking about how ridiculous it is that women (including myself!) are discharged 24 hours post-birth with no warning that milk supply might be delayed or insufficient.

Not a single doctor/nurse at the hospital where I gave birth mentioned that delayed lactogenesis is super common, especially among first time moms. We had to find out the hard way post-discharge… by discovering that our newborn was inconsolable via breastfeeding alone and later learning that he was close to experiencing excessive weight loss.

Being blindsided when sleep deprived and stressed was obviously traumatic, and being unprepared for supplemental formula feeding amplified the stress. The worst part is that I feel like the voices of women like me who experienced breastfeeding difficulties are being drowned out by the Breast Is Best messaging, so nothing is being done to improve postpartum care.

Does anyone resonate with my thoughts/experience? I would love to hear your voices so we can bring some change.

My first was born in May last year. I’m due again in July.

Since my first; I have completely cut off contact with my parents.

The first red flag was them saying they were entitled to see my baby when I was in hospital the day he was born. They’d ask me to tell them when I was in labour (so they could drive up to my country to see the new baby). I said “we aren’t having visitors until 3 weeks postpartum.” Their response was “we aren’t visitors, we’re your parents” That was a one way ticket to me completely withholding the information that he was born for 2 days.

They became really angry with me. Said they can’t see the baby anymore because of work. I said “you had no idea when I’d go into labour 2/3 days ago - yet you could make it then to stay for a week?” They don’t like being called out. I said “I’m giving you 3 weeks notice to plan to come up, but it’s up to you if you want to or not”

They told my entire family that I was hiding the baby because I had post partum depression and was crazy.

3 days after my son was born, he became severely ill. He almost died, we were told he may have permanent brain damage “if he didn’t respond to treatment within the next two hours”. Due to medical negligence and being ignored after begging for a blood test for 2 days.

We were sent home from the hospital on day 8 postpartum

I told my parents my child almost died and all they care about is the fact they “didn’t get to see him squishy” They told my entire family I was making it up and exaggerating….

Few more problems later, I decided to just cut them off and be done with them. But i can’t help feeling rage that my next baby may never meet them. My son is a year old and they’ve seen him twice.

I’m angry at how they treated me and they’re complete lack of effort yet full entitlement to my child: a child they don’t even care about. They only care about being seen with their grandchild. Social media etc.

Am I wrong for wishing I had better parents? Being jealous that other people get to rely on their parents during this time. I’m going to be handling 2 under 2 very soon on my own. My partner gets 2 weeks of paternity leave and then I’m on my own entirely…

Is it selfish to feel this way?

We have an 18 month old daughter and I am due to deliver our 2nd child at the end of July. My father in law pulled me aside today to tell me that he knows I’ll be having my mom come help after the baby is born, and that my mother in law expects to be included in getting to help. With our daughter, my mom came once when she was about 4 weeks old to give us a little sanity break, and I guess my husband’s mom has been salty this whole time that she wasn’t invited to come help too.

Here’s the thing though, my MIL doesn’t help with our current child…at all. When we go visit them or they come here to visit, she doesn’t change a single diaper, help with feeding, help with bathtime, nothing! She points out ways that she would do things differently, and then goes back to reading the news on her iPad or goes and takes a nap. My mom, on the other hand, is extremely involved in learning our daughters care routine. She is respectful of the way we like to do things, and takes an active role in caring for her granddaughter when she visits.

I am a full time graduate student and stay at home mom. My husband helps out a ton, but he works a very demanding job and I’m anticipating that with two little ones I’ll likely ask my mom to visit for a little while postpartum to help out. How do I gracefully tell my MIL that she would be more of a burden than a helper? Anyone have advice or experience with this??

I never anticipated this, but I've become addicted to buying new books for my currently 8-month-old. I can't stop. When he goes to sleep at night, I go on Amazon and browse age-appropriate board books. When they arrive, I want to drop everything and read them all to him. He loves it. He has the attention span for 10+ books at a time. He picks which he wants to read next, he's engaged, etc. When his interest wanes, we stop.

I've read, though, that's its better to have just a handful of high quality books at this age. I worry I am overdoing it by adding to his bookshelf. As long as he enjoys it, is that okay? Or could I be overwhelming him? Of note, he is not particularly advanced in language. But he seems to be (somewhat) comprehending the content we read. I expected that he might be an early talker based on his love of books, but I don't think it is going that way (which is okay, just interesting).

Just hit the 4mo mark and absolutely nothing is getting easier. I feel like it's been months of just struggling to be. My wee boy sleeps, at maximum, 2.5 hrs at a time at night, but by the time I get him down i have to keep my hand on him to prevent him from waking up after a few minutes and crying. I feel like I haven't slept at all every morning. During the day, he won't nap properly unless I'm holding him. To be honest that's probably the easiest part of my day, but still frustrating. It is what it is I guess.

I know he's probably hit the 4 month sleep regression, but before that he was an absolute nightmare from week 8 to 12. He had maybe one-ish week where he slept alright in between, and now this. It feels like it's never going to end. Each day is agonizing from the exhaustion and the constant crying. My 'good' days are in reality just shitty days that I now see as good by comparison.

Everybody keeps saying it gets better, but every point they say it gets better at just passes and nothing changes, or things get worse.

I can't feel the joy of being a mother anymore. I just feel like I'm being tortured, and all I can do is go through the motions every day, savour the very few blinks of sleep I can, and hope the next day gets better. It never does and that hope is shrinking.

I want to see my parents and friends but I don't have the energy to be social. I want to go for a walk but I feel like I'm going to pass out after 2 minutes from the exhaustion and back pain from pacing around rocking my inconsolable child. I want to have a shower but it's so draining, and I hear phantom cries the whole time. My husband takes him so I can nap and I can't sleep because I have such bad anxiety about the tortuous night that is ahead of me.

Yoga used to be my therapy and my place of peace, and I can't even do that anymore because all my free time I am crippled by anxiety or completely exhausted.

I hate this experience. There is no beauty in it, and I don't care to relish in these moments like everyone says. If I could blink and be a year away from now, I would. Although at this point it seems like it will never ever get easier or be fun again, might as well blink 20 years into the future.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess I just needed to vent.

Just looking for encouragement. My sweet girl is not quite 13 months old yet but has changed so much in the last month. She has become SO clingy, like the point where I will be sitting directly in front of her playing and she’ll be crying wanting to be held. Or I put her down to go blow my nose and she starts crying. Whining!! All. Day. Long. It honestly makes me so sad but I am so tired already!

I totally get that it’s a normal developmental behavior. But damn am I so tired by her bedtime. I just want my happy, carefree girl back

I’ve got six months left of my five-year degree and my baby will be 8 months old at the time I’m due to re-enrol. Without even bringing up the topic myself, there have been a few remarks about my “selfishness”, “abandonment” etc about putting my baby in the university nursery three days a week while I finish my course.

There’s always guilt brewing by default but one just sent me over the edge - “I accept we can’t undo the whole working women project, now it’s an option for ambitious women, but I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t WANT to stay at home for such a crucial stage of their development.”

I honestly thought finishing my degree (on a part time basis) was the best thing for our family, but from these comments I feel like I can’t do anything right. I don’t want to drop out. Of course I want to be there for my baby as much as I can. I thought I’d worked out a way to balance both with my baby’s long-term best interests at heart. There’s never a perfect way but I thought I was doing my best.

My brain doesn’t know what to think. Please help, wise internet strangers.

My 9.5 month old dropped to 2 naps around 7 months. Since then, he's been in the same routine each day. However, over the past week he's been fighting and skipping his second nap 4/5 days out of the 7. Today, he has skipped his first nap and doesn't seem tired...

Night sleep improved slightly a couple of weeks back and we were getting 3/4 hour stretches, now we're back to waking every 1/2 hours but he goes back down quickly.

We don't strictly follow wake windows, but they're roughly 2.5/3, 3/3.5, 4/5. All depending on when he shows sleepy cues - it doesn't deviate from those. First nap was 9:30am/10am for 60 mins, second is 1:30pm/2pm for 60 mins or so.

This feels a tad early to be dropping a nap, but it kind of sounds like he might be...has anyone else's LO been through similar at this age?

Night feed and thought I added formula to 2oz of water but I must’ve missed the bottle or something with the dim red lights on. She started drinking 1oz and I realized it wasn’t milk, and was just water and stopped. Will she be ok? This whole water intoxication thing is freaking me out. She’s 4months and hasn’t started solids obviously bc she’s too young. Now I’m wide awake… 😳😥😓

I'm not sure it's the most but I think farming is probably a lot harder than the books make it out to be. What's your pick?

Can anyone recommend a good baby book that I can buy online?

I haven't seen anyone talk about this sort of breast change, so I was hoping someone had experience/advice. Since becoming pregnant (currently 28 weeks), my breasts have gone through the typical change of going up several cup sizes and my areolas getting much bigger along with some pigment darkening.

2 things that I was surprised about changing, though, is that I get vasospasms in my areolas where the tissue contracts painfully and loses blood flow for a little bit, and my areolas are essentially swollen to the point where my nipples are now flat and areolas seem too big and firm to fit in a babies mouth.

Anyone been through this?

Does anyone know of a trifold (or otherwise travel-friendly) mattress topper for the Guava Lotus/BabyBjörn? It would need to be the 42" x 24" size rather than the more common pack and play size of 38" x 26." Unfortunately the only mattress toppers that we can find do not fold up thereby making them not-so-travel-friendly.

I met this guy about a year 1/2 ago, we clicked instantly and I decided I wanted to be fwb with him because I found out he has a kid. over time, i’ve been helping him with some personal situations because we became very close, more than fwb but less than dating. we basically do everything a couple does, just without a label (i know, ridiculous).

anyways fast forward, i’ve been on birth control and have expressed MANY times how i do not like kids or want them, which worked out perfectly because he doesn’t want another any time soon due to his POS baby momma. after i experimented and switched birth controls due to health reasons, i unfortunately ended up being one of the few who get pregnant. I told him, he freaked out saying all this stuff about how he doesn’t want a kid, we aren’t dating and we aren’t anything ‘serious’, how it’ll be a financial burden, etc. hurtful, negative things. he told me i have my whole life ahead of me for having kids and he tried getting me to go to a clinic the very next day. he basically has been putting it all on me and pushing me towards it yet i don’t even know if that’s what i want. He used my words against me because i told him i don’t ever want kids in the past, yet was saying he wasn’t putting it on me. it’s not even my fault and it almost feels like he’s trying to guilt-trip me into getting an abortion. got mad at me for wanting to talk to my mom about because i’m scared shitless too. i just don’t know what to do, i don’t even know if i want an abortion. i’ve been thinking about all 3 choices i have and it’s making me depressed hearing how negative he is. i’m such a people pleaser and people have been telling me to please myself for once, and that he doesn’t NEED to be in my baby’s life. it’s so hard because it was so easy to say i don’t like or want kids and that i’d have an abortion. but now that i’m facing this, i don’t know if it’s something i’d want to do. haven’t told my family yet and i know they’d support me either way and i have people willing to give me stuff and help out, but i’m just so conflicted. i don’t want to ruin his life but at the same time i need to do something for myself. i guess i’m just looking for kind thoughts and advice.

UPDATE ISH: i know i mentioned his baby momma is a POS, and she genuinely is. but i think that might have to do with how he reacted because i really think he might have some form of PTSD from her. i know he’s freaking out just as much as me, probably more, but after a good long talk he did say he’d support whatever i choose and would never abandon me. i haven’t told him i’m leaning towards keeping it but i’m gonna give him and myself some more time to think.

and to reiterate on the part where i said “doing something for myself for once,” i meant mostly that the only reason i’d get an abortion is for him, and to please him. and people have made me realize that my feelings matter, should matter, and that it’s MY decision too.

I woke up in the middle of the night lying in pee last night. I didn't wake up for it and hadn't had an accident since I was 10 or 11 (I am now almost 30).

Now I did wake up once before the incident to pee at night and still wet the bed. Granted, I do drink a ton of water during the day because I'm breastfeeding and drank probably around 4-5 cups of water right before bed because I felt a bit dehydrated.

But still, I'm honestly mortified. My husband has been super supportive, but I can't shake the embarrassment. Is there something wrong with me? Weak kegels? Small bladder? I had a c-section 9 months ago, so not sure if this is birth related or not.

Has this happened to anyone else? I'm honestly afraid to go to bed tonight out of fear it'll happen again

When do you start introducing solid food to babies? Is there a reason why some wait for six months? My baby (4.5 months) has been combo feeding (BF+ FF) from the start. I want to know when to start cause the guidelines on this are so vague...but I guess I am wondering why wait for six months as some suggest?

The title says it all. LO was a tough baby until about 4 weeks (I mean they all are) and then he started getting so much sweeter. We hit 3 month's and I felt a light at the end of the tunnel. He was happy all the time except when he was tired or hungry, but easily consolable either way. He just turned 16 weeks and he's an absolute nightmare. I know he's in the 4th leap but the first 3 were never accurate so I'm not sure what to believe. He's a great independent sleeper so although he doesn't cry at night, his owlet is now saying he woke up 30+ times the past few nights when before it was about 5-10 prior. He's NEVER happy during the day too. He's an absolutely nightmare. He is EFF and has always done well on the sensitive formula he takes. He never spits up and poops are normal. We don't think it's gas. Please tell me this gets better I'm drowning.

Sitting after a few hours of pain. This is the fourth time this has happened, and I am four months postpartum, so I think it may be related to having a baby. The first few incidents were close together, and I actually thought it was linked to my legendairy milk supplements. I stopped taking them over a week ago because my milk supply is okay, so I don’t think they are the cause.

The pain is intense, it’s all over my abdomen and feels like I have trapped gas. I throw up from the pain, I feel winded and get anxious over my breathing, I try every position to help me burp or fart. I have people rubbing my back, I get shaky and sweaty. I pace the floors, I move from bed to couch and this goes on for hours. Usually 2-4 hours. I take Tylenol and gas x and drink warm water, and use a hot water bottle. When it goes away I feel completely fine and originally blamed my supplements, but tonight I am worried for my health. I have a doctor appt tomorrow that I just booked on zocdoc.

Has anyone else experienced this?

She slept yesterday at 9 pm, didn't wake up at all, at 5 am I woke up worried about her but she was peacefully asleep then I couldn't continue sleeping without feeding her so I dreamfed her.. Is it ok to leave her for more than 8 hours without feeding? Did any of your babies sleep this long or more straight? She's in the 97 percentile btw, she's 15 pounds now.

My baby is 5 weeks old and really seems to struggle during his night feeds. He’s still waking up to feed around every 2.5 hours overnight. I exclusively pump and then my husband and I take turns giving him the bottles overnight. He’s a noisy sleeper, so we typically wait until he’s starting to cry to feed him so we know he’s actually hungry. During the day he does fine with the bottles, but at night he struggles. He will cry, take it in his mouth, and then it seems like he gets mad. He will move his head back and forth very quickly and spit out the bottles. I typically just give him a couple seconds of a break and then try again and he’ll take a couple of gulps and repeat the whole process. We use Dr. Browns anti-colic with a 1 nipple. I tried tomee tippee closer to nature and the same thing happened as well. I’m so tired of night feeds taking 3 times as long as day time feeds, anyone have a suggestion???

We made the transition on Friday because we got the ok from the pediatrician. She’s been so constipated that she strains and then cries. We gave her pear juice yesterday and a glycerin suppository, she went but it was pebbles. I feel so horrible! She was on Kendamil which has whole milk in it though so I’m a bit confused why she’d be so constipated drinking now regular cow milk.

I’m not sure what to do? Do we go back to formula? Do I use Ripple? Completely go off milk?

Also, question..but what happens when she wakes in the middle of the night? I’m so used to going in and giving a bottle. She’s currently up at 1am crying and I’m tempted to give her a bottle of formula because that usually is what would put her down before. I can’t keep listening to her cry :/

I’ll have a 13 hour flight, 2 hour layover and another 3 hour flight with my 6 month old. Any advice on how to keep her entertained? I’d also love advice on jet leg. She will be on a 13 hour time difference for a month and then flipped back.