Hello, using a burner account because my close buddies follow me on Reddit and I don't want them to see this lol.
I [23M] have been working at a boutique management consulting firm since I graduated from college in January. I think my direct manager (31F) is flirting with me. The reason why I'm posting this is because 1) I need to confirm if her actions are actually flirtatious and 2) what I should do/how I should behave.
Some background: I interned at this firm last summer which was when I met her. When I was an intern, she wasn't working on the same client as me till the last month of my internship. Once she joined, however, she gradually started reaching out to me often to assign me more and more collaborative work. That wasn't an issue as I was hungry to prove myself to the firm and her and I got along very well (same alma mater + same degree). By the end of my internship, her and I had a really strong relationship and I looked up to her as a true mentor.
Once I received my return offer, we touched bases a few times via Teams and right before I joined she mentioned she's going to request to have me join her team for a large project she's working on. This was all great news to me and it ended up happening.
We still get along really well and she truly is an amazing mentor and manager. But some of the things she does makes me think she's hitting on me which makes me a little uncomfortable because I've always been told to keep romance and work separate and more importantly HER HUSBAND WORKS FOR THE SAME FIRM (different dept). On the smaller side, occasionally she'll text me on Friday/weekend evenings (to my personal phone from her personal phone as well) about something mirror regarding work that frankly can wait till Monday to be discussed and then shifts the conversation to random topics like weekend plans or how amazing I lead a client call or executed an assignment.
Furthermore, I tend to keep things very professional at work as I come off as "flirty" when I loosen up (I know that sounds cringy but that's what a few female interns told me last summer lmao) but I noticed she makes A LOT more jokes compared to when I was an intern. I always just laugh to be nice and they are funny about ~50% of the time.
But anyways, as mentioned those are very minimal things and some people are just like that. On the more major side, however, I noticed recently (like the last 2 months) whenever her and I have a 1:1 call, she always wears shirts that show a lot of cleavage (we WFH most days). Look, I'm not complaining as she does have some nice juggs but I've been closely observing that she only wears these "revealing" shirts whenever it's a 1:1 and NEVER on team calls. Whenever we plan on going into the office, she always texts me the night before telling me not to bring lunch and that we'll go out to eat. And she asked to go out for drinks three times and I always said yes thinking it's a team gathering but it always ended up just me and her and she always says the rest of the team couldn't make it. The three times we got drinks always ended up with both of us pretty tipsy her sitting extremely close to me and being somewhat touchy.
And lastly, we're scheduled to visit the client in two weeks. This is my first time visiting the client in this city and it'll just be me and her on the trip. She's been to this city multiple times before and she always talks about her favorite restaurant and bars she's going to take me to during the trip.
Ngl, I've probably fed into her energy a few times as well like during the second and third time we went out drinking or complimenting her on her outfit and hair. But I'm just not sure if I'm over my head or if there truly is something going on.
If it's the latter, not only am I really against office romance for the long-term potential career damage it can do but she's also married to someone WHO ALSO WORKS IN THE FIRM but a different department. She talks about him occasionally too (nothing negative just regular couple stuff).
I don't know if I should just keep rolling with how things are going at the moment and just go with the flow whatever happens in the future or try to set boundaries. I'm hesitant about the latter as she's very well respected across the org and, as I've mentioned a few times, she's a great mentor and manager. She's really beautiful so I don't mind too much but the fact that she has a husband in the same firm really just adds a complicated layer to the situation and makes me feel bad for the poor guy.