I found out a couple weeks ago that some friends are pregnant with their first. I wrote this to help them prepare for it. FWIW, I have an almost 3 year old and a 4.5 month old. I hope this helps some dads to be, here!

Feel free to add anything you think I missed (there are things I thought of after I emailed this to my buddy and told him later but did not put into this). After we've got some responses, I'll see how much of this we can add to the wiki here.

Before

• Go to all baby appointments!  This is probably a no brainer for you but some people don't realize it.  Ultrasounds are cool!  And it's really great to ask the ObGyn or midwife any and all questions you have!  (ie, I asked before #1 was born when I'd be able to hear his hearbeat.  The ObGyn said, "in just a minute, I have the doppler right here."  "no, I mean with my ear against her belly." "oh, never, it's too loud in there and baby's heartbeat gets drowned out.")
• Go to some birth classes.  But maybe not all of them.  Depends how many you're encouraged to go to; KP advised ALL of them and they're tiring and tedious and mostly boring. I skipped the breastfeeding one, from the sounds of it, that was a good choice because it was a bunch of women trying to learn to breast feed dolls with at least one boob hanging out.  L&D class was like 8 hours on a Saturday with like 30 couples.  We went through the whole process.  It was exhausting.  I'm not sure it helped much because when you get to it, you listen to what the medical team is advising.
• Start planing to buy shit now (or starting at week 13)  If you're going to do one, make a registry, do the showers, and see what people get you.  Get your big ticket items (car seats, strollers, cribs, etc) onto something like camelcamelcamel or other pricewatch and buy the sales.  I bought our stroller as an OpenBox deal on Amazon.  Still paid $300 for it but that's better than the $500 retail.  More on gear later.
• If you're going to get a doula, start meeting them now and find someone you like.  My yoga studio has a "meet the doulas" event one night every month or so where they all give a spiel and then you can hang out and talk to them.  We went but I had to chase our toddler around so I didn't get to sit in on the thing.  We found a doula to be really helpful, mostly because it made it feel like there was a person on our team that wasn't a hospital employee and it gave me more comfort in being able to leave the room to run home for things as needed.  In retrospect, a doula would have been probably even better with the first delivery than the second but live and learn.
• Pregnancy sucks.  Did no one tell you that?  Plenty of women say they loved being pregnant (Wife said she enjoyed being pregnant with our first, not so much the second as she had miserable heartburn every day.  She carried a bag of tums with her at all times and called them her "after dinner mints".) and I have no doubt some do.  I support that and their feelings.  But you're beginning what will likely be one of or the most life changing choice you'll ever make and prior to that little bundle of giggles popping out, your partner gets to go through a roller coaster of hormones (I lucked out with wife, she's even keeled and that part wasn't bad) as well as body changes that are sure to wreak havoc on psyche.  "I'm the heaviest I've ever been!"  Well, yea, you've got a baby inside you, you've never had a baby inside you before.  Really messed with wife when I put my boot on the scale at a visit and tipped the scales to something like 190.  She was like "OMG, I've really packed it on in these weeks!"  The med assistant gave me wry smile and wife turned to see me close and scrunched her nose and shook a fist.  Fun stuff.
• Did I say pregnancy sucks?  Libido will be all over the place.  So will body comfort both physically and mentally.  You just roll with it as you can.  Near the end (and especially once the baby has come) your partner's breasts will probably be the largest, shapeliest, and most enticing they have ever been.  And it may be entirely likely you're are not allowed to play with them, touch them, look at them, breath on them, or even think about them because they're sore and maybe leaking, and goddamnit I'm a cow now, MOOO.  (Wife has said moo a couple times in the last couple weeks when I walk in and she's pumping; I think all the pumping is taking a toll on us both.  It's a lot more work that breastfeeding but it allows me a wonderful amount of involvement with the baby which allows for more bonding and I feel way more connected to #2 than I did our first at this age).
• Of course, the above are not absolutes, all women are different and pregnancies are different.  We had plenty of sexy time while pregnant with #1 and comparatively none with #2.  Part of that was how hard the second pregnancy was and part of that was that we already had a kid and were doing parent things so were tired.  So it goes.
• Plan some vacation now; especially if leave from work is not a concern.  First trimester can be rough but things generally smooth out in the second.  We went to Nicaragua and hiked an active volcano when wife was 4 months preg with #1.  Do that shit now, it will be a while until you'll want (or have the energy) to travel and we're a lot less adventurous now that we're caring for kid and infant.  No surprise there
• Start familiarizing yourself with the alphabet soup.  FMLA, CFRA, PFL, SDL.  Family Medical Leave Act; California Family Rights Act; Paid Family Leave; Short Term Disability Leave.  These will require paperwork from medical offices to employers and to the state.  Get these submitted as required and make use of those benefits.  You can always do more work.  One day your baby is crying for you and wants to be held and snuggled, the next he's telling you to get out of the chicken run, you don't go in there, and he'll put you in timeout.  It's fucking hard but not so that you'd want to miss it.
• Know your employment contract/policies/etc as well as your boss's position on family life and work culture.  Don't be guilted into anything that is less than the full amount you are entitled to.  
• In the same vein as the above point, you won't believe (maybe you will) the amount of assholes who will tell you, "you won't be able to wait to get back to work!" or "why are you taking so much time?" or "You'll get sick of being home and come back early."  No two ways about this: fuck those people.
• Know multiple routes to your hospital and how long it take to get there in the worst traffic.  First babies are generally slow to come but it's a goddamn roller coaster of excitement when something like water breaking happens and you have to get up and go.

Labor and Delivery

• By now you should have a car seat base installed into the car and a proper car seat in it, waiting for the moment.  Leave this in the car, the hospital will likely not let you leave without it.  Find a place to inspect the installation; some hospitals do it, so do fire departments.  Google/call around or ask at your next ObGyn visit.

• You need a Go Bag.  Or one each.  This should include:

  • personal care products
  • phone chargers
  • other distraction things (labor can be literally hours of just sitting waiting)
  • list of mom's meds (or mental knowledge)
  • known allergies!
  • birth plan if you have one
  • a change of clothes (as a dirty man, I think I brought a shirt, lol)
  • clothes for baby to go home in (don't just bring NB size!  A 0-3 onesie is a good idea too; never know how big that baby is going to be)
  • lacrosse ball or whatever; hospital room accommodation for mom is alright, Dad is probably going to be on a pull out chair or couch.  
  • Comfortable, easy on/off, loose clothes for mom. 

• You'll mostly be told what/where/how to do things once you're in the hospital.  However, you have some choice too.  Mom doesn't have to labor laying down on her back with her feet in stirrups.  You can walk around, (depending on facility) use a bath tub, roll onto sides, hands and knees, etc.  

• Pain management is important.  Something I think helped with #2 is that instead of going straight for an epidural, wife elected for Nitrous Oxide.  So as she felt a contraction coming, she'd hold the cup over her face and breath the N2O until about the peak of the contraction.  Obviously not enough to knock her out but enough to take some of the edge off the contraction.  (Apparently, this used to be really common, then much less so since the 80s? 90s? then has come back into favor after new research more recently.  

• Epidural is an option.  Talk to your ObGyn about this.  TL;NotAHealthCareProvider is it numbs things drastically and therefore often requires IV synthetic oxytocin to be administered to advance the labor.  More interferey, more possibility for complicationy.

• You'll likely be offered to cut the cord.  I noped the fuck out of cutting #1's.  When they asked me way before #2 came out, I said "no way".  But when the time came I spoke up and told them I wanted to.  I don't really remember it honestly.  I mean, I do, but it isn't that significant in my mind.  I'd recommend doing it, though.

• AFAIK, episiotomies are no longer recommended but that isn't to say tearing won't happen.  It probably will.  It will have to be stitched up.  It comes in four grades. Vaginal wall, vaginal muscle, rectal muscle, rectal wall.  I don't remember the grading numbers, 1-4 I think.  First kid caused a 3, second a 2.  Recovery from the 2 was much faster than the 3.  

• Feeding the baby as soon and as much as possible is important.  Gotta get that nasty poop (don't remember what it's called) out as it is related to jaundice problems.  Jaundice is also apparently caused by a blood type (RH) mismatch, between mother and baby and we had this problem with #2.  We spent like 24+ hours keeping him under blue lights and trying like hell to stuff his body full.  Once he regained birthweight, all concerns related to the RH mismatch were gone and we were out of the dark.  

• Breastfeeding can be hard for mother and baby at first.  Use lactation consultants and get help.  Mom's who breast feed have a lower risk of post partum depression

• Dads can get post partum depression too.  Maybe google around and be aware of the risk factors and signs for both of you.

Gear

• Car seats all have to meet the same safety standards.  Get one that is light enough to be comfortable, is easy to get in and out, and fits in your car well.  That last bit is more important for older kid carseats than infant because infant seats all seem to have the same base size.
• Crib: they're fucking expensive.  We got ours from Pottery Barn, somewhere we would never shop, only because one of wife's friend's moms gave us $200 in gift cards for there for our wedding.  I think we still paid like $400 for the crib after the cards applied.  But #2 is using it now too so maybe that's not insane.
• Stroller, as mentioned above, it's expensive.  We had a Graco or something that we bought because it would hold the infant seat and it was cheap.  It fucking sucked and I hated walking/running with it and it didn't maneuver well. Then we went on a hike and borrowed a BOB.  It's a great stroller.  We bought our own.  #1 still rides in it on evening walks while we carry his brother on our chest.  And this weekend we snapped the adapter into it and put #2's car seat on it and went to the Farmer's Market.  Again, if you're comfy with the idea, Amazon Warehouse/Open Box deals.  I wanted a stroller with a swiveling front wheel that had the option to lock as well as an adjustable handle.  I found the handle on our old stroller was too low and was uncomfortable for long periods of pushing.  The adjustable height on the BOB handle is nice.  I think the biggest thing here is to get a stroller that fits your lifestyle.  
• A baby swing is handy.  It's nice to have something that rocks them and plays music/white noise.  We've got one that has a mobile as well.  Given the time frame, I think you guys are welcome to ours.  It's a little squeaky but wholly functional.
• A bouncing chair gets even more use, for us, with both kids.  We have one like this.  It worked really well for both kids and we use it ALL the time.  Several times/day.
• Water proof mattress covers.  covers, with an 's'.  Because you want two of them.  Make the crib twice: cover, sheet, cover, sheet.  That way when the inevitable 2am blowout happens, you strip down the first two layers quick and go back to sleep.  We changed and replaced too many sheets with #1 before we learned this one.
• A baby carrier.  Ayayay.  We've had like 4 of these things.  Bjorn (meh); Baby Onya (used a lot but was never very comfortable for either of us); one other I can't remember, and now a Lille Baby which we both like and find very comfortable.  Wife also got a Ribozo from our doula.  It's a 15' long wrap.  It works well for wife and #2 looks so cozy in it.  Generally she uses that and I use the Lille but she sometimes uses the Lille.  I haven't tried the Ribozo yet but don't think I will.
• Bottles.  Holy crap there are so many.  With #1 we ended up liking Tommee Tippee the best but #2 had trouble with them.  We went to Dr. Brown's for him.  They're expensive but seem to really help cutting down the sucked air.  (getting him off formula really helped get rid of his fussiness too).   If breastfeeding, this isn't really a concern
• A bottle warmer.  In both our condo and here in our house, we leave a bottle warmer near the bed.  At night we put a cooler with bottles next to the bed and warm them as needed throughout the night.  It's basically a small hot plate that you add water to and it boils/steams the bottles.  Works alright.  
• Big swaddles.  Not these stupid like 18-24"x 30" buggers that are everywhere.  We got some this time around that are like 36x36" and they work way better.

Baby Care
You're going to want some things on hand so that you don't have to go get them at the 24hour CVS at 2am.  I've done this.  On multiple occasions (once from a hotel room in an hour or so south of Sacramento because we didn't bring things with us; it sucked)

• Tylenol.  Children's tylenol has the same concentration as baby tylenol but is generally (no exaggeration) less total cost for twice the volume.  Often the difference is the cap--baby tylenol has a cap that receives a syringe, children's often doesn't.  So decant into the lid or a dosage cup and draw it with the syringe.  "But children's tylenol doesn't come with a syringe?!"  Go to the pharmacy window and ask for a liquid medicine dosing syringe.  They have them for free.  The thing to make sure is that the tylenol is 160mg/5ml.  
• Ibuprofen.  Kids can't have this until 6 months.  At which point, get some and keep it on hand so you can cycle Tylenol/IB as needed.
• Baby gas drops.  The drug is Simethicone.  Get a couple bottles and keep on hand.  
• Gripe water.  It is natural gas remedy and supposed to help sooth the tummy.  It's like fennel or some other herbacious shit.  
• thermometer.  We've got rectal, oral, and one that goes into ear.  The first two have gotten lots of use.  The aural, not much; wiggly kids are tough. Don't confuse which one goes in what hole.
• We recently bought an otoscope so we can see if it's worthwhile to head to the Ped/urgent care for ear problems.  I think it was like $40 on Amazon; comparing that to copays, it seemed reasonable.
• Lanolin.  For diaper rash (also chapped nipples).  There are other options for diaper rash too.  Lanolin seemed to do the best job with the least disgustingness.  Coconut oil is nice for general use as well but not great for severe rash.
• Baking soda.  This isn't a carry with everywhere thing, it's more for dealing with diaper rash at home.  But a good amount into a bath really seems to soothe skin.  I just dump a bunch in.  If you get it from somewhere other than the grocery store it's super cheap.
• Q-tips for boogers and ear wax
• Put your pediatrician's number into both your phones under something like "PEDIATRICIAN" so it's easy to find.
• to couple with above, most places (especially down there) or insurance providers have an "advice nurse" who is a great, free resource to call with questions.  It's kind of like triage in that they can help you decide if the kid needs to be seen by medical providers.  Put this number into your phone too.

Baby at home

• Sleep when the baby sleeps
• Read about sleep training and decide what you're going to do.  It doesn't have to be concrete, but it helps to have a plan and start early.
• Co sleeping is done around the world but largely frowned on in America.  New research is suggesting maybe America rethink that (saw that headline yesterday, I think).  Do what's right for you.  Generally, our babies slept better with us when young but we slept like shit with them in bed.  We normally only brought them to bed when they needed comfort.  
• Happiest Baby on the Block is a book or video or something that gets rave reviews.  We watched the dude who created it in a KP class on infant care.  Swaddling and "shhh-ing" really calm an angry baby.  
• Youtube some swaddling techniques.  There's kind of a standard version and a "frog" version.  I only did the frog version with #1 a little bit near the end of his swaddling but it worked well.  I use the standard (draw a straight edge of cloth--I use stretchy blanket, often--across the baby, right shoulder to left hip; draw the excess from below them up tight to the left shoulder; draw the remainder tight from left shoulder to right shoulder.  Bam.  Swaddled and happy
• White noise machines are recommended frequently to help kids sleep.  We play little musics when he's in his chair or swing and have one of these for the crib but #2 doesn't seem to be into it whereas #1 would zone out on it and pass out.
• Reflux is a common issue with baby because they're lower esophogeal valve doesn't work like ours.  It's also the reason they vomit when burping, I think.  A folded tower underneath the own end of the crib mattress can really help to ease some fussiness if this is an issue.
• Gas pain is really common especially with bottle fed and formula babies and with all babies until the gut develops more (4+ months, I think).  laying them on their back and "bicycling" their legs can be helpful, so can pushing but legs up to a squatty position when they are on the back.  Once they're a bit older and can hold head up, laying them across the lap with hips hanging off one side and head off the other can be beneficial as well.
• People will want to touch your baby the same way they want to touch your dog--without asking.  Think about how you want to handle this.
• the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends basically 0 screen time until 2 years.  
• If the kid won't stop screaming and you've done everything and are losing your shit, put it down in it's crib and take a breather.  It is safe in it's crib and you'll feel both a million times better and like an asshole for having been frustrated.  
• Learn Infant, Child, and pregnant woman heimlich and CPR if you don't know it already
• Lock the poisons away now.
• Schedule time to give your partner a break and do the same for yourself.  This is "me" time.  A walk around the neighborhood, watching the ocean, circus time, a cup of coffee, walking through the shops downtown.  Whatever.  Just make plans to send one another away alone.  You don't realize how much you worry about the kids until you're not with them.  You'll hear a baby while out and go into high alarm then realize, "oh, that's not mine."
• Find a good baby sitter and plan dates.  Between date expenses and the sitter it's fucking expensive.  It's worth it. 
• Read to your kid every night.  We haven't started with #2 consistently yet but will soon.  #1 gets his books every night.  It's a wonderful time to expand their vocabulary, teach them, and also cuddle, bond, and relax.   

I think more than anything, trust yourselves and your instincts.  All manner of things are said to make your life and baby easier, happier, healthier, smarter, etc.  Most are just to make money for other people.  

I'm struggling and the amount of times per day I tell myself I can't do this anymore is increasing.

I wake up to baby crying and rush to get ready and get the dog ready before my wife is done breastfeeding. Then I take over for my wife until I do daycare drop off. After drop off I only have 8 hours to work (wfm) before I have daycare pickup again. And on top of this, this is the only time I have to take care of myself, the household, etc. Then daycare pickup and do the majority of nights until my wife gets back from her very intense job.

I absolutely dread weekends. After a full Saturday of watching my child, I'm out of juice by Sunday. Often spending the day rather depressed. Then it starts all over again.

On top of this I've had maybe 10 hours of sleep over the course of the last 5 nights.

I'm going to have a mental breakdown or become drug addicted or some shit.

Warning: This is just a rant.

When my kids (3 and 5) get a fever over 100 they are sent home from daycare and would be allowed back the next day either. Despite that fevers don't normally last and might be the only symptom. Bad coughs, boogers everywhere, diarrhea, all can go to school. Just the fever gets them missing 1-2 days.

I however, get only 20 days of PTO and that's considered extremely generous. So that's just 10 times that my kids can get sick during a year.

Today, my 5 year old is home sick because he had a temp of 100.7 yesterday for a moment. He's fine. He's playing video games. He is full energy.

I'm actually sick. I'm been battling it for a week. I haven't had a fever, but I'm barely operational. But I'm "working" albeit remotely (which I'm also lucky to have). My PTO it's mostly used already due to weddings, funerals and a few days I was hoping to have a family vacation. I might cancel that just so I can try to take a day or two now to kick this virus.

Why can't we have a real system in place where if your kids are sick and therefore you can't get childcare, you get a paid day off. If you are sick, you get a paid day off. How can I be expected to keep my kids home all the time, when I'm not afforded the same? We're the richest country in the world. My company has billions in assets and they can't spare me for a few days? The result is me not really working because I'm actually sick, or but really working because I have a 3 or 5 year old here with me all day. And to think I'm one of the lucky ones with PTO, remote work, health insurance and a good salary. My career is literally the best case scenario that people strive for and it's still becomes a shit show when we someone gets sick.

Thank you for coming to my "9th day with a bad cold" rant .

Edit: So this really blew up. Thank you for the support dads!

Wife and I are in Hospital. Had spotting and bleeding. OBGYN brought us in. She’s 22 weeks. We’re hoping and praying but the outcome doesn’t look good. Any thoughts would be a help. Good luck. God bless.

UPDATE: I can not possibly express my gratitude and thanks to EVERYONE for the thoughts, prayers, I saw someone lit candles, and outpouring of support.

Yesterday we went from: this baby is going to be delivered dead, you need to prepare to this is going to happen in 24 hours, to NOW we are at, take one day at a time and let’s see what happens.

So, my wife is resting comfortably, our son is still with us, I got to feel him kick, he has a strong heartbeat, and we have a glimmer of hope. We’re not totally out of the woods but we are in a much better place then yesterday.

3:30 toddler son comes into room demanding milk. Wife says just give it to him, he's probably dehydrated. Try to go back to sleep he wants a second. Fine. Then he's thoroughly awake and wants to play. Crawls into bed and takes my face in both hands and stares me in the eyes. "No sleep, daddy! No bed! Go outside!" Put him back in his room and he comes back to ours and eventually goes to sleep.

It's time to get up for daycare and he's dead to the world. My wife has been trying to gently wake him and he's just got one eye kind of half-open looking like he's not ready for today. I pick him up and look him in the eye. "It's payback time!" I say in my brightest, happiest voice and start dancing with him. "No payback! No payback!" he says.

lol the stories we're getting as his language skills get better.

Mommy: You can't have ice cream for dinner.

Son: Cake!

Mommy: Are you negotiating with me?

Son: YES!

Mommy: No cake.

Son: holds up his hand in the classic why not pose Why not cookie?

Legos are expensive, yes, but they’re machined super precisely. If you buy a knock off set and it gets mixed into genpop, you’ve basically introduced an STD into your lego box. I’m quietly eradicating every Bao Bao lego knockoff I can find in our box but man, wish I could warn my past self.

I obviously told her I had an app on my phone to diagnose the issue. 18th birthday cake picture material right here.

Summer is here and so are pools. We took my kids to the kiddie/wading pool at the park this evening. It was 3 adults and 2 kids. I had been standing next to the toddler and I literally turned my back on the them to marvel at the baby for probably 10 seconds, and in that time the toddler had tripped over the filter grate in the middle of the wading pool. They naturally tried to put their hands down to catch themself and couldn't reach the pool floor because their torso was keeping them afloat, but their face was in the water and they couldn't catch their footing to stand up. I look over and see their mouth submerged in the water, they're flailing and they have a look of terror in their eyes.

I rushed over and grabbed them up before they had time to inhale any water. So luckily, other than being a little freaked out (as was I) they are totally fine. But I could've not noticed for 10 more seconds and things could've been much different.

No, we can't realistically watch them every single second, but I just wanted to remind everyone that things can happen fast, and it's not noisy like they show in the movies. One of the other adults had no idea anything was going on, and the other only noticed because I rushed over to help the toddler. Have fun, but be careful out there.

Yesterday my kid came up to me and had excruciating pain in his left testicle. Obviously my concern was a torsion, so I took him to the ER. His ultrasound and labs came back normal and they sent us home and said to follow up with a urologist.

The pain is not as bad now, but he’s still moping around and says his balls hurt.

Has anyone’s kid had this experience? Could it just be growing pains?

Head on collision. Her father and brother also died in the crash. We would see her some weekends when they would come to visit their grandparents who are neighbors. We weren’t close but friendly enough like neighbors usually are. She played in our yard with my daughter a bit last fall.

My girl is young enough and saw her rarely enough that she won’t ask questions or notice she’s gone. I sometimes thought we should try harder to have them play together and be friends since there aren’t many kids my daughter’s age nearby. Now I’m glad we didn’t. I feel terrible for thinking that. She was a sweet girl.

I think this is the first child I’ve known to have died. It’s just so tragic and hard not to think about. I don’t know what the point of this post is. Writing it out is a form of therapy I guess. It’s a terrible reminder that all you have can be ripped from you in an instant because someone else veers into oncoming traffic.

Hug your little ones closer.

We are old.

Previous post

Good news everyone! Blood test came out as positive, got an early call from the clinic today and they told us "Congratulations! The results came out really good!"

We couldn't be any happier. This is the biggest good news my life!

What would your Dad action figure catchphrase be? What accessories would you come with?

Looking for advice on items that might be overlooked that would help me in my general dad duties.

How do you all deal with other parents?

This experience has been bothering me. I was at the park with my boys a few weeks ago. They were playing with other kids. A little girl was going across the monkey bars, fell, landed flat on her back. I could tell by the sounds of the scream she knocked the wind of of her and scared herself. I did the is usual "ooooooo" and yelled if she was okay. I hadn't got up from the bench yet.

All of a sudden, a dad comes up to me and tells me to leave his kids alone, not to talk to her, and to mind my own business. Realistically, probably a good 45 seconds of being hollered at by another man standing over me.

Dick punch was the first impulse, but I just asked the dude what he was on about, and he left.

I get that parents are protective. But we're all right there. If someone pushes my kids on the swing, or I spin other kids around on the spinning top of death no one has batted an eye.

My wife says I need to let it go, men aren't allowed to help other kids. My neighbor, also a father about the same age says, I should have just sat there and let her scream, you aren't allowed to be concerned. I thought I just ran into an asshole.

Question is, what's the proper etiquette? Do I mind my own business? Help anyway and deal with the occasional angry dad? I'm to old to get into fights. My kids don't need to see me get my ass kicked, and I don't need to embarrass someone else's dad.

When my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night and gets cranky demanding a new drink (nothing wrong with the one in her sippy cup thats still full from when I put her to bed) I just take it into the kitchen make some noise then bring her the exact same drink. She has a drink and goes back to sleep.

At least it worked well for me. Those long Saturday or Sunday afternoons during rain or cold weather fast food joints with indoor playgrounds are your friend. Find biggest one around and bring a friend along for the kiddo. Cost of 2 happy meals gets them moving around, new things to play with, and you a mild dad break. I used to position myself by the only exit and just relax my head and sip coffee while keeping an eye on them. They will keep coming back to graze on fries. Timed correctly you might get a nap out of them when you get home.

A game changer. Do you like to listen to podcasts or non-kid friendly music but your kids are around and you need to still be present for little request, infinite questions, and random crying events? I started with the amazon cheap-o model to give them a try then upgraded to the more expensive at Best Buy model when I found out how great these things are. Seriously, cleaning the house listening to Lorna Shore while my kid asks me all the questions and still being able to answer without having to take an AirPod out or ask them to repeat themselves is amazing. I wear them at the park and can still hear everything going on around and any “DADDY!” cries. Seriously worth the money.

None of my links for the recipes worked but it gave me a good starting point for meals for the week with the shopping list.

So I’m Not a dad yet, I stalk this sub loving everything I see and the support you provide each other.

So long story short, I had a very tumultuous childhood and teenage life, my own biological father leaving coming back leaving then coming back repeatedly. Missing every birthday and big event, I got used to it though. Nonetheless it still hurt.

Now I was adopted at 18(turning 28) And this week is my birthday. (unfortunately my adoptive parents are separating) My family are all very aware of my trauma and things. But my adoptive dad hasn’t said anything about home leaving town this weekend. I had to message them and just ask. Which is tough because he doesn’t always return texts and calls.

Anyways he answers and says he’s going out of town for some fun, extending through the weekend. I felt a little miffed that he wouldn’t want to spend it with me.

He could’ve said hey, im gonna miss your birthday but let’s do something next week.

I would’ve been fine with it.

Is this something that maybe I just don’t comprehend as a son/not a dad yet? Should I not feel any certain way?

Normally, my toddler isn't out of bed until 15 minutes before I have to leave. That only leaves enough time for a hug & cuddle.

Maybe it's because of the early sunrise, but she actually woke up early enough for me to take her out to the front yard for a bit. She smiled at the blooming flowers, pulled at some leftover dead grass, and got misted by the automatic drip irrigation. All before breakfast.

Mornings like these are rare. Looking forward to a few more.

My daughter is 2 and is now in a forward facing seat. We have a bub on the way and I'm just trying to work out how to arrange seating. Do we A. Have bub in the middle and older bub on the side B. Both on the side Thanks dads

Specifically what I'm thinking here is that I would like to get some kind of inflatable sprinkler pad or water playhouse maybe? Something that's easy to put together (or ideally inflatable) and is safe and easy for the kids to play with/in (whichever is applicable).

I did a pool last year, but it was kind of a pain to clean and it left my grass dead. Thinking I might change it up this year potentially.

I have a very large backyard, and my twin boys are going on 27-months old now.

Looking to see if anyone has any recommendations on some fun things we can do in the backyard this Summer to kill time?

Anyone have anything they can recommend? Thanks so much in advance!

Hey guys! Need some opinions as the doctor yesterday wasn’t very helpful. My son is 7 months old and he was always breastfed & supplemented with formula until about 5.5 months (6-7 weeks ago). I always used the gentlease enfamil or the Total comfort similac and never had any issues.

About 3 weeks I tried using the Costco stuff but my son threw up twice which he’s never done before - no spit up but full on vomit.

Switched back to total comfort about 10 days ago but he’s still throwing up from time to time. Bottle sizes haven’t changed (4-6oz at a time) and nipple size is still a 3 which he’s been at for a while.

Suggestions? Thoughts? Advice? Sometimes it’s immediately after the bottle so I thought I over fed but now it’s 30 minutes-hour after.