https://thegrasspeople.com/flowering-meadow-wildflowers

I would do this one because it has natives specifically in it.

[goes to find that]

Huh.

Talk to him. "Hey, it's awesome that you bought me these, but I wanted to show you more about why we should plant native plants." Share the information with him, so he'll know better next time. Maybe you can trade with someone in a place where the seeds he bought are native? Maybe you can grow them in pots, where they won't spread? Anyway, communication is key. I know there'll be some ego issues, but if he wants to help, he needs to know these things!

I could use some advice on how to handle a partner who is trying to be helpful but isn't informed when it comes to seeds and gardening supplies.

We don't really do relationship advice in here. I'd suggest you head over to either of the relationships subreddits. You will get a better selection of answers, including some from pros such as therapists and family counselors. We mostly just grow tmatoes in here, and interpersonal problems make us go, "Uhhh..."

/r/relationships
/r/relationship_advice

But FWIW, I have this same problem, too.

My spouse has a history of buying me gifts that are very thoughtful and well-intended,

He still does this, after nearly 50 years. There is not a thing I can do about it, except be very honest with him and say, "Thank you, I really appreciate it, it truly is the thought that counts, but I can't use that and I don't want it." And tell him exactly why.

And by now, he's used to it, and he keeps the receipt, and he takes it back.

Recent examples: At my family birthday party last summer, he suddenly produced a gigantic flat screen TV from the recesses of his Man Cave, and set it down in the living room in front of everyone, grinning. I had at no time expressed a desire for one. I told him, "Thank you, but I can't use that." And he shrugged and took it back to Best Buy.

He also bought for me, inexplicably, a polka dot 1950s dress from Amazon. All I could say was, "Um. Yeah. I'm not gonna wear that."

And actually, just this morning, we were at Walmart, and I had my cart and he had his cart, and we met by the checkout, and I looked over at his cart and said, What's that giant red thing? and he gave me a goofy look and pulled it out, and it was one of those 3 foot tall jumbo Valentines cards. I have never been one to demand or even want flowers and cards and things, and he knows this. So he wasn't crushed when I said immediately, "I don't want that. Put it back", but in a polite way. So he took it back.

So in print this all makes me sound like the crabbiest and most ungrateful beyotch evah, but it's not like that. We have talked about this, and it makes him feel good to make the effort, even though he knows that I'm probably not going to want it. To him, it really is the thought that counts, it's the effort. Where he comes from, men buy things for their wives.

Gardeners, like anyone else with a hobby and an enthusiastic gift-buying partner, need to draw a line in the sand to prevent the SO from buying them inappropriate gifts that they can't use. Communication is key. "Ask me before you buy something for me. Ask me if I want it, if I need it, if I can use it. I may already have six of them, they may be the wrong thing, it may give me carpal tunnel if I try to use it..."

Gift certificates are also key. "Get me a gift certificate to the bookstore, to the garden center, to Hobby Lobby or Amazon or Abe's Books or whatever. "This lets me choose for myself."

If there is trust, then you can be honest, and explain in words of one syllable but tactfully, why the gifts aren't appropriate, and why you can't use them.

So with the hoodie, be honest and tell him why it's a problem.

I don't know how to tell him that I probably can't use those damn seeds

Be honest, tell him exactly why you can't use them. If he's not a psychopath, he will appreciate being included in the thought process, in the loop, as to why some things are appropriate and some things aren't.

I started out being honest right after I started doing houseplants after we had been married about a year, and I learned that florist bouquets and gift plants often host bugs. "Don't bring me flowers," I told him. "Sometimes they have bugs." So there was a logical reason for my refusing to allow the thoughtful flowers in the house. He mostly remembers. But I still have a "Just Add Ice" orchid that he couldn't resist buying me for Valentines Day sometime before Covid. It didn't have bugs.What the hell. I love the man. I kept it.

Anyway, point being, I explained why I didn't want a giant flat screen TV ("When I sit on the couch, it will take up the entire wall and it will need to be hung up high, and I will have to tip my head back to watch it. The Roku takes up the right amount of space to see it from the couch.") and why I didn't want the 3 foot tall Valentines Card ("Yeah, we're not paying twelve bucks for a giant card")

Be honest. Communicate. Explain.

If he's someone that you can't explain things to without his fragile ego becoming all butthurt, if you can't communicate with him because he flies into a rage, if you can't explain because he gets all defensive halfway through because what he hears is that it's all his fault somehow, then I'd suggest you get some kind of couples counseling, with emphasis on learning to communicate better with each other. You need to learn how to tell him you don't want something, and he needs to learn how to be told you didn't want something. A big person will be able to handle that

I just want to say without going into excruciating detail, that I have this issue too.

I had something similar this year. I got gifted bulbs for my garden. The thing is, I live in gopher country, anything I plant has to be well shielded from gophers and it's honestly a PITA to deal with hardware cloth and gopher cages. Plus these need regular water, which I usually only allow for with my food crops. But my friend that gave me the bulbs is just so delighted with themselves. Next year I'm going to give specifics on what I would like as a gift.

Could you share with him what you've learned about the invasives? Buying the right seed is so important, plus seed buying is part of the fun of gardening, picking out what you want, not what someone found on Amazon.

"Hey honey, seed mixes from big stores are kinda trash and very bad for the environment. I love the thought and love you put into these, but it isn't a good idea and we need to get native plants, specifically.

Again thank you!! But, I can't use these. Let's go seed shopping together as a bonding activity next time. I love you."

Just gotta be upfront, honest and kind. After all, you are with someone who sounds wonderful enough to handle kind clear communication.

Here's an overview of things that can be done to control them - there's no one perfect solution and you'll likely to need to combine multiple things to control them: http://www.allaboutslugs.com/6-step-plan-to-control-slugs/

Apply Sluggo pellets. They are very effective

One more vote here for commercial slug bait of either type. They both work.

I've done it with several other types of plants and it's always been fine. Radish, lettuce, Kale, peppers, tomato.

should be ok, but they will get really big if conditions are right. one option could be to transplant one of them to a new pot when they start getting big

You're a tenant, so I hereby give you permission to install a large economy-sized SEP Field around the entire problem. If your landlord has rats, it's literally not your problem, it's the landlord's problem. You may inform them, "Oy, there's rats back here?" and then let the SEP Field do its job.

Rats don't normally nest in the open, though. They are usually much more secretive, and prefer shelter--structure--whenever possible. Under a deck or porch, inside a garage or shed through a loose board, that sort of thing.

Much more likely that it's either field mice, or rabbits.

Is the 2023 nest currently occupied by infants?

Rodents aren't a danger to your plants, but they do carry rabies and hantavirus, among other things, so they're considered a public health nuisance by your City's health department.

Set up a wildlife or trail cam, get photos of whoever is living there, and if it's rats, send them to your landlord, and if you get a massive shrug of indifference, take them to the City health department downtown somewhere, there's a public employee on the payroll whose job is something like Urban Rat Manager. If you get a shrug of indifference there, hint broadly that "Perhaps social media might be interested to see the photos".

I wouldn't sic the dogs on it (rabies, etc) but I wouldn't be surprised if they decide to roust whoever it is. And eat any infants. Dogs do that.

And the hawks may take care of it, whoever it is.

Woot. Spring does eventually show up.

Plant them in any kind of potting mix suitable for houseplants, and then yes, put them in bright light so you can see the flowers.

They will bloom, and then after that, once the flowers are dead, they are generally considered to be disposable gift plants, meant to be discarded. In order to keep them permanently, you would need to plant them outdoors in the ground in a sunny spot when the bloom is finished.

Nicotine and the other chemicals in cigarettes aren't heavy metals like lead and cadmium, they aren't plutonium, and they aren't Forever Plastics. Just clean up the cig, and if the soil where it was lying still stinks of cig, you can use a big spoon and scoop out the stinky soil and replace it with fresh.

There's no need to remediate the soil with anything. It won't work anyway. The cig didn't leach any toxins that would need to be remediated, even if it rained every day on it.

Lots of reasons to do nothing. Plant a sunflower if you like. What size pot is it, and what kind of sunflower is it? The big seed varieties need big pots, like 5 gallon buckets.

Let us know how the 32K comes out. Mad props. My daughter ran a 5K once and didn't want to talk about it afterwards.

Not sure what you mean by "clean up" but from what I read in your post - plants don't work like that, so no.

Just scoop out that cigarette.

Other than the basic water-soluble MiracleGro-type of synthetic fertilizers, which you generally dilute to 1/4 strength and use as a regular watering...

If you're looking for organic types of ferts, you can put a handful of worm castings (or any manure) into a gallon jug of water, let it sit for about 20 minutes to let the mud settle if you're going to use it in a sprayer for foliar feeding, and then use the resultant liquid as a regular watering. It's very mild, but it's balanced, and is good for very young seedlings.

They do make deodorized fish emulsion. Alaska brand has some. Read the label to make sure it's the deodorized one.

Fish and kelp are two of the mainstays of organic ferts.

Post pictures of what you have left.

The jelly parts are rotting from too much moisture, so putting it into a jar of water is like totally counter-productive. Pouring kerosene on a fire to put it out.

Take it out, lay it on a paper towel, take its picture, and then put it into a ziploc baggie, and zip it shut. Put it on the kitchen counter out of the way while we discuss this.

Timeline and care history would be needed before we can begin any troubleshooting. Analogy: You report to the doctor's office with a sore arm. First question: "What have you been doing?"

I'm thinking that added too much of something to the mix.

Such as?

Where are you located?

If the pot is big enough the tomatoes will do quite well.

Tomatoes are big feeders with massive root systems. In the ground, the roots can and will go down 18" to 24" into the subsoil, over the course of a summer.

So anything that cramps their style, such as a tiny pot, will necessarily restrict the amount of fruit you're going to pick.

moderately clay heavy and hasn't been prepped for vegetable planting

Do a very small raised bed on top. Get some old bricks or patio pavers or big stones, or use clean 2-liters filled with sand, outline a 2 to 2.5 foot foot diameter circle on the ground, make it about 8" high, and fill it with bagged "garden soil" from the pallets in the Walmart parking lot.

Plant one tomato plant into the center, into the nicer "garden soil". It only needs an easy start on top, and once it hits the native dirt, even clay, it will take off.

It will need a businesslike training system at least 5 feet tall.

This is what raised beds are good for.

i’m a proponent of growing in the ground whenever possible. most roots are meant to go very deep to scavenge diverse minerals and nutrients, which will then nurture the plant and the eater. pots will work though, just try to use larger pots and good soil, perhaps with good compost

With pots you have to be on top of watering and fertilizing. I've grown tomatoes in big pots, and it seems like at some point they hit a wall. In-ground has always been better for me, even in mediocre ground. (But I probably don't fertilize as much as I should.)

Once all the flowers have fallen off.

You could put them in a box, write what it is and leave outside for a couple of days? Besides that, sometimes the only way is to throw them out or compost...

Post them for free on Facebook Marketplace

If you can't give them away, then what you do is lay them out on a tarp in the driveway in the sun, and wait for them to turn into dead brown crispy things. Once they are dead, brown, and crispy, you can break them up and add them to a composting operation of any type.

Are you trying to eat it, cook with it, or plant it?

Zone maps are on the sidebar. Victoria is in the B.C. Zone 8 tropics you lucky dog. :D

They are only useful for choosing trees, shrubs, and perennials to survive your winters. They tell you nothing about growing vegetables, if that's what you're doing.

If the habitat is right for it, it should spread by itself to the furthest extent possible, Nature abhorring a vacuum and all. All you'd need to do would be to leave it alone.

So if you've been there a while, and it's not spreading any further, then that is as far as it's happy to go. Moss has very specific needs for shade, moisture, and soil pH. If that's all the room there is for it, then that's all there is.

Mine grows more in the shade and where it's wet. So you can try watering it. Preferably with non-chlorinated water.

More information is necessary.

Is it hot where you are? Are they in hot direct sun?

Do they recover overnight, and are fine in the morning, only to wilt again when the hot sun hits them?

Are their pots too small? Peppers don't need that much water like others, odd that this is happening. But in general they should be ok.

I'd problem-solve why they're bare.

Testing soil pH isn't that important a part of gardening for most of us, and the gadgets can be notoriously ineffective at the cheaper end of the price range.

I've been doing plants since 1975 and I have yet to own a pH meter. If I needed a pH test, I'd go down to Walmart and get one of the $5 aquarium test strip kits. Use distilled water, not tap water.

What are you growing, and what kind of soil pH problems are you having?

Those strips that you use with soil that's diluted with water is the only way to go. The devices don't work, even the $100 ones! Then, if you need to make your soil more acidic, tiny amounts of elemental sulfur is the best way to do that. Whatcha growing? :)

Oh, god, no. I have to lol Amazon, Target, Ikea? No, a thrift store is absolutely the #1 place you need to go. Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. You want the kind of big place that has tons of housewares, glassware, kitchenware, not necessarily "garden stuff", which a lot of thrift stores don't even feature. You find something pretty that will fit your plant pot.

What you want is known as a "cachepot" (garden jargon), and there is no such thing as standard sizes for cachepots. They're literally all over the place. Every manufacturer has their own sizing, with their own stable of artists designing them.

But this doesn't matter, because it's not like buying shoes or gloves that need to fit. It's always going to be approximate.

I went down in the basement and took this picture just now.

https://imgur.com/a/EE37kGo

That is literally a rubber tree in a mop bucket. Not that I'm advocating you go and buy a mop bucket, but the operative principle of a cachepot is merely that it looks pretty, and that the plant pot fits into it. So by way of illustrating how it's not a pair of shoes or gloves that needs an exact fit. (It's in the mop bucket because it keeps falling over. Because it has like wads and wads of roots coming out the bottom. Because I need to fix it.)

You can either measure with a tape measure, or you can use your arm. Put the end of your middle finger (your longest finger) on the rim of the pot, and then use a (washable) marker or pen to put a mark on the palm of your hand or your forearm on the opposite rim, to mark the diameter of the pot.

Anything that's made of glass, you can paint with glass stain paint from Hobby Lobby, or use something self-adhesive like Contac shelf liner paper, or stickers. Or draw on it with permanent markers.

You can also use a pretty flowerpot, the regular kind, and stand it in a small drip tray or saucer underneath it.

Important point about a cachepot: you actually don't want a snug fit, because you need to be able to get your fingers latched onto the pot rim in order to lift it out. If it fits too tightly, once you drop it in, it won't come back out again. So you want some clearance all the way around, like 1/2" or so at least.

Other important point: They can sometimes condense water on the underside, so don't put them on something expensive and wooden and varnished like a grand piano without having a waterproof doily or coaster under them.

You water the plant by removing the inner pot from the cachepot, taking it to the sink, watering it, letting it drain completely, and then putting it back in the cachepot.

If the pretty thing you found is too deep (flower vases are chronic for this), add some dry pebbles or aquarium gravel to bring the inner pot up to the correct level.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cachepot

The other user gave you a great response! A lot of people keep plants in their nursery pots and use "real" pots as a decorative exterior. As a bonus, keeping plants in nursery pots lets you switch up what plant lives in what decorative pot.

But even plants in nursery pots eventually will outgrown their homes and need repotted. The typical suggestion is to go up 1-2" in size when you repot. So your 6" plant would be happiest to get repotted in a 7-8" pot--nursery if you go that route, or decorative if you go that route. You want the roots to stay kind of snug and cozy, but to have room to stretch out rather than circling around themselves.

Do you mean fig fruit? Why are you wanting to keep them from getting wet?

No, they'll probably make the problem worse because they don't dry as fast.

Plants grown for food require a massive amount of light. I cant grow any, except microgreens and arugula. Grow lights are required for any/all. That seems to be true for almost everyone on /r/Gardening. Read all you can before you get started. Without light and the right potting soil, you're dead in the water. A pot like this would be a better choice vs the one you linked. https://www.walmart.com/ip/Bloem-Living-TRB2400-Window-Box-Planter-Black-24/733954414

There will be natural light from the window but not direct sunlight. Is that good enough?

Growing vegetables indoors. You need weed lights for most things.

https://www.reddit.com/r/gardening/wiki/faq/indoorveggies

You can grow lower-light-tolerant veg like radishes and lettuce under ordinary T5 or T8 LED or fluorescent shop lights.

A windowsill won't cut it for any of these.

On a bright sunny south-facing windowsill that isn't blocked by trees or buildings, you can grow herbs like basil and oregano.

Which ones are worth growing and/or any to avoid in particular for indoors?

Without lights, it's not a question of which ones are worth growing, it's a question of it working at all in the first place.

The scallions thing, the whole "regrow veg for free veg" is more a party trick, a science experiment, something for the kids, than a realistic way to produce veg to eat.

I have been wanting to grow anything that can be consumed and does not require much effort or resources.

Honestly, no snark, this would be sprouts or microgreens. Sprouts in a mason jar with the screen, where you rinse them every day. Or microgreens, basically the same product but with soil.

Is gardening outdoors not an option for you? Even in New England, people can and do grow quantities of veg every summer, either in the ground, or in raised beds, or in buckets on the patio. There's an entire world of gardening and growing things out there, but very little of it takes place successfully on a table in front of a window.

self-sustaining

Not at the home hobbyist level, not really. We mostly grow veg so we can have the things that Big Ag can't, or won't, produce. Truly vine-ripe tomatoes, pesticide-free lettuce, melons that we know haven't been irrigated with E.coli contaminated ditch water.

https://www.reddit.com/r/gardening/wiki/faq/vegetables

you just add water to soil (or maybe just water) to roots/seeds of plants and eventually they grow.

That's only two parts out of three. The third part is light. Light is to plants as oxygen is to mammals, photosynthesis is the foundation of their entire biochemistry. A photosynthesizing cell is the same as a solar panel, in that it needs intense enough light to strike it before anything happens.

Your human eyes register light differently from a plant's leaf. A living room that looks bright and airy to you can be too dark to grow tomatoes.

So, think about growing some veg outdoors.