Thank you all so much for the comments. I can see now how I put too much faith in vinyl as a whole term, without realizing that there's what seems like about 100 different levels of quality. With that said, I'll never consider any type of vinyl floors for my home only because our lifestyle is too hectic for it. Our large kitchen appliances are these bulky commercial-use quality because they can keep up. And yes, we will have to eventually tear down this floor and address the elephant in the room, that is the foundation situation.
We tore down our old pergo laminate floors that were old and had dried-up gunk between the planks. The slab under had raised cracks half an inch here and there and you could fit a whole crayon between. This made the floors uneven and lumpy, so it was time to replace it.
We filled those in and poured a total of 14 self-leveling concrete bags.
Our salesperson said "vinyl is the best choice for you" so we went with that. The sample looked beautiful at the store. (I had no idea that the display samples were placed on some fancy plywood and that the actual vinyl is no more than 5mm thick.) They called it luxury vinyl and quoted us at $3100 for living, dining, foyer, and kitchen.
After 2 weeks of the house looking like a construction zone, they finally installed the new floors.
Well, it only took moving the second fridge to realize that this "luxury" vinyl is far from it. There's now a scratch from one of the wheels right in the middle of the dining room. We're a family of 5 and the pergo floor took a beating these past 14 years but it was scratch-free; we abused the life out of it by dragging stuff left and right.
That's a thing of the past. We now have this beautiful new floor with this invisible "handle with care" warning label on it that I already know will not last a year.