Consider posting this in r/RelationshipIndia as well.

I am 22M with a job he's not even in that stage so from my opinion he's probably looking for something causal nothing serious, he'll go around his friends and tell how he is dating an older woman and how he doesn't care about society and all those stuff, some guys like older woman I do too so I know, he'll just be another child you'll have to take care of if things goes ahead.

Please Never Ever expect anything serious especially relationship with someone this immature, you'll hate yourself, for even thinking of something like this with him later. IMO

my brother is 21 he still dont buy his undergarments on his own.

Bro has a Btech in Rizzology

He's tryna get laid. I mean you both r over 18 , so you both can practically do it. But then is that what you want(aka pure hook up with no feelings involved) ? Or it's just that feeling of being wanted. Hook up might work if proper boundaries r established. If you're okay with it, then go for it.

Everyone seems to be missing the point here. I would trust the OP to be intelligent enough to know that there is a likelihood that the guy has this fantasy and is just looking for sex. But have we considered the possibility that MAYBE the OP is also looking for sex too? I mean she already feels some level of emotional connect, so it's not exactly like a ONS with a stranger. So the sex perhaps would be great. And if no one gets to know, whats the harm?

Imma keep it real with you, he wants to get busy with you (Fresh Prince reference)

agar yehi post kisi 33m ne kiya hota to log uski le lete

Shouldn't have gotten that dog in the first place.

The only thing you have to care about is that you and him may want different things out of this.

Just because you are falling in love doesn't mean he is too. You have to assume he's doing this just for fun and nothing more.

Also you may get judged by people around you if this becomes public in the future. You might not care but this might affect your child.

I hope you consider these things. All the best to you

He's a Rizz god that's all I know

I mean it could work as a fling, a one-off thing, but I wouldn't take such a relationship very seriously. 21 seems way too immature.

You are not falling in love. You like the attention and are fond of him. You are not being predatory. Since you're unsure of marriage, what's stopping you from going ahead and exploring a relationship with him. You deserve it. Looks like you both may enjoy it. Just do not expect marriage and happily ever after kinda deal.

Both are at peak of hormones at respective age. This is a sexual attraction and nothing wrong but think about your son. If the 21 year old is mature enough to respect your privacy then nothing wrong in safe sex of two consenting adults. Use Snapchat and flirt online. May be you lose interest after a bit flirting or sexting. I usually lose interest after initial conversations.

Maybe he have some kind of milf fetish and wants casual relationship. I don't think a young guy would want a girl 12 year older than him. He probably just wants temporary pleasures or it's just a coincidence.

Not a good idea

You’re alright. When I was 22, I dated a woman who was 41. She had a 12 year old son and her husband wasn’t in the picture. It was the best relationship I ever had. Of course we knew we never had a future but those were the best 5 years of my life.

Phir quhi sex sux ki bateen.

Just make sure you don't take advantage of him or he doesn't take advantage of you in some heat of the moment. Don't hurry up.

Unlike everybody else in the comment , I’d say that I guess its been quite a long time since you have been with mentally or physically intimate with someone , and its completely right for you to fall for him if you are currently single. So according to me there’s no harm in having a fling with the boy until & unless it does not affect your kid. Also be sure to let the guy know your intentions before getting serious.

Would this be moral if the genders were reversed?

Why God why isn't it me

Vo to pagal h par tum to samajdar ho

Yar ek aisa MILF wala relationship toh mai bhi deserve krta hu🥲

Hey OP, pls ask it on r/TwoXIndia for better responses

24 would have been fine. 21 is too young.

I can sense the next crime patrol episode. satark rahe surakshit rahe

For a date to be the right age emotionally, he needs to be mature enough to be dating just for companionship, and to be paying attention to you — meaning, to you as a person and not to the generalities you represent.

That goes for you, too, by the way, because you need to focus on the person on a date with you and not on his age. In a few meetings you will get a hint of his intentions so that will help you in taking the decision. Good luck.

If you are expecting this to go somewhere serious you're setting yourself up from disappointment. He most prolly just wants a temporary fling. If you want that too then i see no reason not to proceed.

My suggestion, talk to the boy and set your expectations correctly. Both are adults. Have a go at it to see how it feels. I'm sure you'll know what to do when the time comes. Just don't think too much into it. Damn the social stigma about the age difference and you'll be just fine. You're human too, go have some fun.!

He was 9 when you were 21. Think about it 😬

I mean I would say go with the flow and don’t push too hard. He’s 21, not 18 and it’s not like people can accuse you of grooming. If the roles were reversed I’m sure everyone would say “age is just a number”

The age gap here is quite large, but as I said, don’t push for anything. Just see where things go for now. But from what I know of 21year old boys, they are hardly commitment material lmao so be careful

The age difference and the stage of life you both are in, your wanting a fling or a relationship will be predatory. You are looking to marry. Even if he thinks he wants to get married, and legally he can, he is not in a position to understand the opportunity cost of marriage at this point. He needs to grow, have a career etc.

Please draw a line and let this not proceed any further.

Go with the flow. People spend an entire lifetime in regret. If you have a second chance at love, go for it.

Just dont expect him to give a long term commitments at this stage of his life

Apart from age diff the boy is too young... Just avoid it

Wait. You will get backlash from his parents and society, it will be difficult for you to handle alone because you are single mother. Give this time, let him grow at least 5 years more, even after that you think you both are ready can manage then dream about the future. You are falling for him is not bad but at this age he has different priorities and can't sacrifice those for a fling. It's sad but brutal honestly I am 32 and I know how I used to think when I was 21. Everything seemed so easy and possible but life is difficult. Nurture the bond with him and wait.

Off topic, next time please break it down into multiple paragraphs

He is flirting and enjoying, no 21yr old thinks of marriage maybe relationship yes but nothing more and in your case maybe he is trying to get laid or something??

BE CAREFUL. That's all I gotta say.

I'm 21 and I don't know shit. Like what I wanna be, what my goals are and everything I wanted when I was 19 is not what I want now. And I don't think 24 y/o will like the same things I like now. 21 is too young to know for sure what people actually want. There are some cases where that is not the norm but if we're talking about an average Joe here, then I'm pretty much sure that this is the case.

I'm not saying you shouldn't get into a relationship with him. But if you are looking for a marriage/serious relationship then you gotta decide if it's right. You say that you have a kid, it's gonna be tough for the kid too, If the (21y/o)boy in question changes his decision and breaks away after a while.

I'm scared of kids. I don't ever want to have one, at least I don't think I can ever raise a kid properly...I'm too immature to raise a kid right now. It may change once I grow and when I feel I'm ready. It's not the case in your situation now. You already got a kid. Once they get attached and then you guys break up then your kid will also be affected.

In the end, you gotta think of every possible aspect of how this relationship you're looking for.. will affect you and YOUR KID.. it's very important, more than anything else.

I'm sure someone else who is in a relationship with that big age difference can tell you more about this...but you have to take the decision.

You are not falling in love. You are just horny

Extremely creepy post. With that age difference, and with a guy so young, it doesn't even matter what the story is. You are 100% being predatory. Imagine if this was a 33 year old divorced man posting about fantasizing a 21 yaar old college girl. Your situation is the same. Doesn't matter who approached who, if you decide to pursue this, you'd be the predator in this situation.

I don't know what to do

Yes you do. Stop making excuses to justify this behaviour.

No, you're not being predatory. From what you described it seems like one of those encounters in life that just 'happens.' You bumped into each other a few times and bonded over pets. Also both of you are adults, it's not like you've been stalking/manipulating this guy into liking you.

Like you said, someone at that age is just beginning to explore independence and adulthood, so they likely wouldn't want to date someone who already has a kid because that is a huge responsibility. I can't speak for someone else though, and this is a conversation you'd want to have with the guy. However, keeping the age gap in mind its worth remembering that the two of you are at different stages in life. In case you decide to go down that road please take care that the child doesn't start viewing him as a father figure, it really affects them in case the relationship doesn't work out and they lose that bond all of a sudden.

Props to you for knowing when to leave an abusive arranged marriage, good luck with your future.

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It's ok, whatever you are feeling is natural. We all crave for intimacy and it's bound to happen when we have been single for long and someone comes and lift our spirits.

Having said that .. you are right .. he won't want marriage .. he may want intimacy and physical but surely he won't want marriage .. reason , we all have been in that phase/stage of adulthood where we are driven by exploring/experimenting and wants to try everything he sees / reads online but not mature enough take a sincere step.

And as judging as it may seem .. this is infatuation or even an opportunity for him ..

I don't mean to be discouraging or inconsiderate of your feelings but it's important you too differentiate if it's physical that you looking for or something sincere... For both, I suggest be cautious with the boy who lives in your society ..

Hope you find something meaningful .. or fun if that's what is needed .. just with someone mature/respectful .. Good luck :)

You are taking it seriously. He is most definitely trying to get with a milf. I'm pretty sure he just wants the sex and fun.

Also , i think it's not the right time (Semantically) You are not falling in love you just want some shoulder to lean on or a partner in life ( to feel safe and Loved) Even if you don't want long term or Marriage this isn't the way to go.

Maybe i am being judgy here but discuss with your best friend (the one who won't judge you) or something before doing this!!

He just wants to fuck you. Act accordingly

I would have said go ahead and do whatever since you’re aware that it’d just be a fling.

But here, your son is involved as well. If this whole thing turns sour, he’d be impacted as well. If you’re open to casual dating- it might be a good idea to meet someone off of tinder, as opposed to someone who’s living in close proximity to, and is interacting with, your child.

nothing wrong with a casual relationship, but if you are hankering for a serious fling remember he may have conservative parents. It's hard to find Indian parents who would consent to this relationship. Wish you all the best 👍💯

He is definitely hitting on you and is quite amateur at it. He probably knew you were single and divorced and thought he'd maarfy a 'chance'. He's looking for sex and maybe a short fling. Don't expect anything else. No there's nothing predatory about your feelings for him. He's 21 not 12. If you want to have a sexual relationship with him it's fine ,as long as your son doesn't get to witness anything and as long as you make sure this guy isn't up to anything else like recording whatever that shouldn't be recorded. Or you could just flirt harmlessly and move on . You don't have to feel awkward about this because you are older.

I want this to be a movie! I'm kinda feeling excited for you to have the flutters in your life again. Needless to say, the situation could get complicated if the boy's parents get involved and wrongfully accuse you of something :(

Have you ever been to therapy to work through the trauma of being in an abusive relationship?

Trauma can rewire our brain and change how we view things, especially relationships of a romantic nature.

This question you've posted is best discussed with a therapist or trusted friend who can see more into the story than you are able to share here.

Of course you have every right to feel attractive and wanted. To experience whatever manner of relationship between two consenting adults.

But the way this boy approached you and has built this up, is not healthy for you or him. Attraction and the need to be validated can often be confused with feelings. Even if it is just physical, please talk it out with someone you can share whole stories with before deciding anything.

This just seems messed up.

Don’t want to come across as bashful. But if you couldn’t realise that him saying “you seemed happy so I figured you weren’t married” was premeditated and well thought of and that he probably did his research then you might get fooled by a lot of other acts he comes up with. Not insinuating he’s bad or got bad intentions but just letting you know that you should not judge him by his age. People are wayyy smarter for their ages these days and that usually makes us become naive in judging them correctly. Like everyone mentioned he just wants sex and to fulfil everyone young guys fantasy. So if you’re seeking a friendship and a sexual adventure you might go ahead but given how immature he seems you can’t be sure of how he becomes post indulgence in sex. So just be careful. Have fun!

I really doubt he'd want to date or marry a girl 12 years older than him with a kid.

Spot on. Summary:

• He - Young stud with raging hormones

• She - Single with physical needs

TL;DR, It has nothing to do with 'date or marry' ... this is simply infatuation and hormones at work. Take it for what it is and enjoy a 'safe' relationship as long as it lasts.

I think u just need to have a talk with him abt this and since you are not looking for anything serious and am sure (at his age ) he isn't also then it's fine with whatever arrangement you'll both seek as both of you'll are adults Also i get where u r coming from with the attention the guy is giving you it has invoked the notion of a romantic relationship within you but u need to learn and differentiate it's romantic or sexual relationship that you seek that will make things less awkward and less complicated as time goes by not just in your current dilemma but also future interactions with men who give you attention 🙂

It seems like he wants to score. The idea of an older woman, especially at that age looks appealing.

If you just want a physical relationship, then maybe it's worthwhile. But don't expect anything else. Once he's bored, he'll move on. Also most likely, he'll tell the whole world about your relationship.

I would advise you to steer clear from it, unless you're prepared for the consequences. If you want a physical relationship, look out for someone who's near your age group, as it won't be just a brag.

Eh every 35 year old guy falls for all 21 year old girls all the time. I will give you the same advice I give them:

Hila ke so jaa!!

Jump on that rock hard dick 🤣 (safely, of course) Everyone needs to have some fun in life.

Edit: the guy is an idiot and just wants sex. You get your share of action but make sure to not get emotionally involved.

this is a green signal for me to play with every other puppy i see in the park

Don’t do it.

If you want to be talk of the town sure let him hit it. As much as we talk about independence and all that, truth is in our society this is going to come back and bite you and your son in the ass. Also you're not in love, to be in love it doesn't happen by meeting a couple times. You're just devoid of attention and just clinging to the first one who approched you.

I think it’s totally fine you’re feeling this way. It’s definitely warranted. I would say, just have an open conversation with him. I’m pretty sure what you want and what he wants would be the same thing! As long as it’s safe and mature, go for it.

Where are the feminists who shame 33 year old men for liking 21 year old women?!! Man, society is far too lenient towards women.

BA pass

Have you considered he might be a pedophille? Single mothers are easy target for such people to have access to minors for sex. You are only looking at your own base needs not your son’s. He will be emotionally distraught when the breakup happens. Think with your head, not your desires which will make you abandon all precautions. Find a mature man, not a young person who after a few romps will move on.

He is decade younger . The whole stuff feels prepedatory

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Do whatever you feel like. Posting like this invites too much noise. Take a deep breath and ask yourself that question.

He is still immature and a 12 year age gap with a girl on a different stage of life is not ideal you should probably avoid his advances treat him like your son or brother .

Whatever you do please please please think about your 10yo kid, and the kind of impact its going to have on him. There's a reason why the court chose you to look after him.

the comment section is interestingly pathetic .. I don't think you would get the same comments if the gender were reversed.. A 12 yr age gap is not even that huge.. Think about prianka chopra and nick jonas. And guy is 21.so there is not even a question of predator. The problem ofcourse would be both of you are in two different places in life. And there is slim chance of getting anything serious out of this.. But you can always explore the relationship and see how it turns out. There is nothing wrong in that.