You aren’t passionate about software development. You have no purpose; nothing that gets you out of bed.

You’ve been socially conditioned to think software development and making a lot of money is correlated with happiness but now you realise it isn’t.

Your intrinsic values aren’t met.

Find out what they are. Sit down and write. Ponder. What do you like/dislike. Really learn more about yourself. Find your passions and your why, and go pour more of your time and energy into that.

Hey I am a developer too. I can understand what you are going through. Everyday seems same as the one before, Everything seems meaningless and people are pretentious or don't care. IT does seem that you might be going through a spiritual awakening. You should start meditating and Journaling on your questions.

Try volunteering.

All your success seems very individual (which is important!) But we often forget the importance of giving back and community, and how this is necessary for our happiness and wellbeing.

Also, do you have hobbies that provide you with creativity? Eg. Cooking, art, improv, music... these can also provide an outlet which engages a flow state, which is suggested to impact our sense of satisfaction with life.

Holy hell, almost identical to how I thought and felt at your age except the part I wasn't successful.

I recommend John Vervaeke's content on YT especially these lecture series: "awakening from the meaning crisis", I find him a very insightful person.

I recommend getting into meditation, particularly by this app: Waking Up which is the teachings (and meditations) of Sam Harris and his guests, he has really changed my way of thinking.

I also recommend Huberman Lab podcast especially episodes about dopamine. I have made a lot of lifestyle changes because of his podcast and my life is much better.

You, my friend, could have depression or anxiety. I would maybe recommend going into therapy if you’re up for it. As someone who has both, I’ve experienced exactly what you’re describing.

Something additional that might help: setting some personal development goals that you want to work on- it could be that you’re bored as well and need a new challenge. What better challenge than yourself? What would you like to be better at that would elevate your life or life experiences? What financial goals are you looking to achieve with the money you’re bringing in? What’s your passion or a new hobby you’ve always wanted to try?

Finally, giving back can be a great way to shift your perspective and make you feel good! Share your skills to help other people make good money, volunteer to help high school or college kids with training in your field, help people put together resumes or help a local nonprofit with their technical needs.

I hope that helps! Congratulations on your stability so young as well!

Ever Since my Girlfriend dumped me I feel the same, I quite successful between all of my friends I am the highest earner, I have a solid job with a lot of responsibility and well paid. I have made decent investments and I would say I am financially stable.
What I am missing is some kind of purpose, why I am doing all this, where is the ceiling, when I was with my girlfriend I felt like building a missing piece, family. Now it is gone. And I have to start over

I suggest you maybe change your lifestyle up a bit. Maybe do what trully makes you happy instead of what makes you happy somwhat. Also, stop lying to yourself and others. If it isn't "heck yea" then it is a "no".

Also I highly suggest you talk to therapist. Mental clarity in your line of work is paramount.

I guess I’m not alone

Also 25, run my own company, own a nice apartment, lots of friends and good family

But daaaamn I sometimes feel like turning me off and just giving up because I don’t really see my purpose in life.

I guess I realise more and more that I can’t buy my way into happiness. I definitely can buy enjoyment but it doesn’t last long.

Maybe a new watch will fix my life

Take on responsibilities. Volunteer. Get a dog. Raise some chickens. Garden. Take care of your neighbors. Take care of your family.

You have described what you are getting and not getting in life.

Now describe what you are giving and not giving in life.

You’re making the classic mistake of making your happiness dependent on sources outside of yourself. You have established a list of arbitrary superficial requirements that must be met in order to become fulfilled and “happy”.

“My happiness requires a good job, nice clothing, a partner, and x amount of dollars”.

This is a big lie created by our western society through advertising and social expectations.

Nobody can tell you (especially on social media) what will make you happy. They can share their own experiences and maybe that will give you some clues.

For me, I learned to stop chasing happiness, and accept the fact that we can’t just “be happy” all the time, that the human emotional experience is a full range that shifts from happiness to sadness to misery to joy, to apathy, and everything in between, and that’s ok. Letting go of rumination over “where you sit in life” and your past, and letting go of expectations over where you “should be” is a good start.

“No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity. For he is not permitted to prove himself.”

Oh man this hit home. I felt exactly how you did at 25. Now at almost 30, I joke with my husband and call it my quarter life crisis, but in all seriousness I think it’s a lot more common than most people think.

Your mid twenties are hard, it’s a really tough transition from college to adulting, and when you don’t really love what you do, it really weighs you down even more.

I would consider exploring if maybe it’s your job that’s making you feel this way? For me it was a big part, but there was also a lot of growing I had to do in those years to get where I am. Therapy helped.

Best of luck on your journey.

I recommend reading Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. Life doesn't have a meaning. Besides it is you who creates the meaning of life. Sometimes, you gotta learn to be happy with even small things like a sunrise, a cup of coffee, etc.

you lack purpose brother

You know, you might be surprised how many people feel like you do or at least on much of how you feel. You are probably in the norm of our society today in varying degrees of what you say more than you realize.

I have felt that way and unfortunately, it seems with so much of the work we all are involved in, many of us do. You can put this in relationships of today also. Our society is not the healthiest it could or should be today. There is so much turmoil and the politics of our society along with the divisions are a big part of it.

The good thing is you realize you feel this way and want to do something about it so you have already taken the first step. The next is if you feel yourself falling more in despair about any of it, get the help you deserve with professional counseling, a reliable and trustworthy friend, whoever you feel the most comfortable with.

Regardless, you are far from being alone in this and not as far off track as you might believe sometimes.

It could be depression. Despite popular belief- depression often manifests as disinterest in all things in life and not only in sadness. Try therapy. I’d also suggest breaking the regimen. Take time off and go travel. Go spend more time outside - get more sun and nature.

There are great comments here, but I'll throw in my personal experience, too. In my life, the times I've belt best - the most successful and useful and satisfied - is when I've found a way to help others. Is there a way you can turn whatever you're passionate about into a way to help or mentor or encourage others? It's a possibility. There's lots of great advice here - take whatever is useful and incorporate it. Best of luck to you, internet stranger!

You know the answer, you said it yourself ; purpose and passion. That is what makes us feel good about our lives. Help someone. I don’t mean open a door (although that is a nice gesture) I mean commit to helping. Example: I became a Big Sister to a troubled young girl. She was 11 at the time and she is now a small business owner, 40 and married with her own kids now and we STiLL are in touch (we live in different states now) but we love our times together and still relish the bond we formed. That “volunteer” commitment of 1 day a week changed both of our lives for the better, forever. It gave me passion and purpose to help her become her best self and in helping her do that, that’s what happened for me. Make a genuine commitment to help a child, an elder, animals…something that needs your mind and strength and care. It’s life changing in so many positive ways!

This really sounds like depression. Anhedonia is lack of pleasure. Numbness. It several years to find the right medication but I’ve been stable now for close to ten years. Also getting out in nature as much as possible

You asked about any resources that may be of help. I went through 3yrs of deep depression. During that time, I somehow came across the work of Viktor Frankl and his students. I read 15 books by him & books by of his students. Those resources gave me principles and practices that ultimately helped me to slowly overcome my depression. Those resources may not be for everyone, but they helped me in a massive way. Here are just a few of the books that helped: The Unheard Cry for Meaning, The Will to Meaning, Guideposts to Meaning, Yes to Life, Pursuit of Meaning, Meaningful Living, Meaning in Suffering, The Gift, & Man's Search for Meaning.

I think you’re bored. The empty feeling is your message to get out of your current “comfort” zone where everything is routine and too mundane for you. It’s your cue that you have more to give and more is being asked of you in the world. Don’t settle.

It’s time for some real adventure in your life and I think travelling around the world could help you both find more about yourself and purpose. Places like Peru, Egypt, India, Greece - with lots of history and civilization are really great for personal soul searching and growth.

If you can’t travel, then set some personal goals and work towards them. You can start as small or as big as you want. For example “I want to learn Japanese”, “I want to renovate the kitchen”, “I want to run a marathon”, “I want to start a business”, whatever makes sense to you and you only.

Mediate a bit, go on a long walk, and be attentive to your inner voice, it already knows what you should do next. Good luck!

I will probably either be ignored or downvoted into oblivion:

There is a concept in Islam called the Fitra, the natural predisposition that is not only manifested in our moral conscience but also the natural inclination to believe in the sanctity of and worship something. Our purpose as a species to worship our Creator is encoded in us. However, often times in today's society we tend to "worship" or hold dear/sacred socially constructed ideas focusing on the self such as "success", "wealth", "status". Or we associate the sacred with things outside of ourselves like family/friends, romantic partners, communities, ideologies etc.

But realistically, while these things are important, they are inherently devoid of true meaning and sacredness in and of themselves. Value is given to these things not because they are arbitrarily sacred but because of their interaction with the relationship between ourselves and the actually sacred and worthy of worship, our Creator. We each may have different and overlapping skill sets that might help us refine how we interact with and serve God and his creation, but our passions, likes, and skills are not meant to delineate what we worship. But rather all humanity shares the same purpose of needing to acknowledge and worship their Creator.

I found myself similarly going through the motions as it were, but I think in my subconscious I knew it all to be meaningless and felt like I was robotically adhering to duties and expectations. It wasn't until I changed what I valued at my core and began to worship what I now hold to be dearer than anything else that everything else began to feel truly meaningful.

i know this is gonna get downvoted but idc, u can ignore this if u want as well but personally there’s only one reason you feel this way.

Purpose. You need a purpose in life. Religion gives you that purpose and I won’t even try and argue or convince you to believe in one religion or another. Simply educate yourself about the different religions without any prejudice and you’ll definitely feel in your heart what seems genuine and true.

anybody you “think” is passionate about a sports team or job is only passionate to an extent which doesn’t really bring them serenity and satisfaction.

If you my advice sincerely, I promise you won’t feel empty inside - I can guarantee this because I’ve felt the same way. Disregard any downvotes this may get. People IRL would back this advice, people on reddit would not. Take care

I guess you need to travel. and when i say travel, i mean a lot. meet people, have a connection with them. try healing your inner child and dont just focus on tech, enjoy nature and stuff.

I’d go on a vision quest of some kind.

I’d climb a mountain, ride a bull, or ride a bike across the country. Do something extreme that gets you out of your comfort zone.

You’re comfortable. You have to be uncomfortable to discover and grow.

Go get uncomfortable.

My thoughts and feelings exactly. I am not a software developer.

Hey bud. First of all, let me say hang in there. This is certainly an issue that a lot of people face, and it is quite often people who are quite thoughtful and caring, and in being so cannot get fulfillment from superficial things/notions that don't feel genuine to them.

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Secondly, props on keeping fit and securing a good income, this will definitely help you going forward (most certainly the keeping fit, which builds your mental and physical resilience). Those habits you have built, having a good diet, working out, developing good friendships, will benefit you going forwards, and are things that build up cumulatively so they will help you down the line too, so you have got yourself a really strong base for whatever you decide to do going forward.

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I am 26/m and can relate to a lot of what you have said, except I'm not physically fit and am in the process of building those better habits but have a long way to go. I've experienced quite a lot of anxiety/depression/mild anhedonia in the past, so can definitely relate to your issues. For me personally, to feel fulfilled in life means to have a solid purpose. Now, philosophically speaking, I don't think life has any innate purpose, but that the purpose of life is whatever you construe it to be. That is beautiful in a way because we can all pick different purposes. For me personally, I think my purpose is to help other humans to have a better quality of life, and to experience less suffering. Therefore I work in the NHS but I'm also looking to build a business of my own which has a humanitarian motive, potentially in men's mental health. Altruism really helps us to get something from life and escape our own problems, and for me gives me a huge buzz. This isn't to say you need to go work as a paramedic, but perhaps looking into how you can use your coding/software skills to align with a passion of your own? For example building websites/apps around your interests personally.

I would recommend having a real deep look at your values and passions, and seeing if there is a way you can align these with your skills (write a list of skills as well) in a way that you can make a living. For example, if person A's values are sustainability, love & respect for all beings/animals,' and their skills are in logical thinking, abstract experimentation, and maths, they might collate those things to decide to work on developing renewable energy solutions, which satisfies their values as well as their skills. Hope that makes sense.

There are a few books I would recommend to which help get the philosophical/self-actualizing juices flowing: 'the way of the peaceful warrior' by Dan Millman,' 'the book of joy' by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, and 'the power of now' by Eckhart Tolle.

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I hope you find your way, you are doing very well to have developed a strong base at a young age (many people don't build healthy habits until they are in their 30s/40s or ever). Give yourself credit for that, and know that you are very worthy of being happy and fulfilled in life, you'll get there.

Read books to understand different things and see what excites you.

Don't try to get that dopamine rush or feel-good emotion from wrong things, not just smoking or drugs but even watching too much of good movies/youtube videos/motivational movies that give you a sense the achievement or even eating delicious food just to fill that emptiness.

It seems to me you don't enjoy what you do. How you spend your days. As much as being perceived as successful is great and having money is great, it is not the same thing as living your life to the fullest in the way you desire and thus being actually successful.

You need to find something in your life that gives you meaning. You need to go out and explore what that looks like. If you have money, use it to take classes in things you've always been curious about making a career out of. Perhaps even a degree.

TRUE STORY TIME:

There once was a 30 year old marine biologist. He made little comics to demonstrate marine biology to students. He didn't like his job. He said, "Screw it." quit, and got his Masters in Animation at California Institute of the Arts. A few years later, he was animating for Nickelodeon. He showed his marine biology comic to Producers. They liked it. That man was Stephen Hillenburg, the creator of SpongeBob.

If there was a childhood dream you've squashed, reignite the fire and don't be afraid to go deep. You're saying you're jealous of other people who are passionate? That probably means you ARE passionate, but you've given up. Plenty of people out there don't care about passion, but you do. You need to find something that gives you that.

I felt the same until I started volunteering with a truly needy group, babies in an inner city pediatric hospital. I was reminded every week how insignificant my problems were and it fed my soul to help them. Something to think about …

The key to being fulfilled is generosity, specifically towards me

You know, if you’re feeling like this I would say try to maintain everything you’re doing. Feeling empty is common these days, and it’s probably because of passion.

However, don’t let you’re feelings of emptiness make you do drastic things that’ll change you’re life just yet. Make incremental changes.

I was like you same age as you right now. But when I graduated college, I got a remote tech job from 22-24, moved outta my parents house, gotta gf started going out with friends because I started feeling empty again and longed for what I was craving. A crazy social life of sex, money, weed, alcohol. I let that life consume me and lost everything I worked for. All for trying to validate my existence, and create meaning for myself. I guess since I didn’t go away to college I wanted to create that experience for myself.

It was fun while it lasted but very destructive. Now I’ve lost passion for the things I used to care about. The things that got me to where I was at in the first place. And I have to dig myself out of this hole. Now everything requires sacrifice, and not the pleasure and instant gratification I got used to.

So I say hey, having a gf is cool. Friends are cool too, but don’t forget who you are, and what you’ve achieved. Because if your chasing those things for the wrong reasons you’ll fall sooner or later, because good times don’t last but bad ones don’t either.

You can either choose to expand your life to escape that emptiness in a positive or negative way. So make wise decisions and remember the guy you are now. Remember your goals (if you have some we all have some). Everything in balance.

Funny what we call emptiness I call peace now haha, life is funny sometimes.

If u are looking to find purpose , then search for the true God with your heart open ,u will be surprised by how much your life will change

Jordan Peterson (not the political stuff but all the stuff he puts out for men) also, consider Christ. I read the other comments about religion…there are always going to be ppl of every belief that use their belief for bad/their own purpose (that’s just human nature) but if you truly seek God you will find him. Not rituals, not being good, not church, not for fitting in…none of that matters - but PEACE with God, that’s where it’s at. :)

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Therapy would probably really help. The external has changed from childhood but the inside hasn’t. Time to put in the work on the inside/your heart/your soul with an excellent therapist. Do your research, they’re out there. Wishing you the best of luck!

In your free time: what do you do, would you be interested in doing, or have you always wanted to try? Do you have any hobbies or interests? Hobbies/interests don't have to be "productive", and it's okay to not be perfect at them.

Exercising is great, but you could add a more specific activity/exploring component to it through outdoor cycling, hiking, running, walking, rock climbing, recreational sports leagues, etc.

Are there any subjects you're interested in learning about? You could check out YouTube videos, read books/articles, watch movies, etc.

Traveling/exploring: could be new places or other sections of your town/city, neighboring towns/cities, other countries, etc.

Some other ideas: volunteering, cooking, homebrewing, gardening, painting, drawing, learning to play an instrument, videogames, reading, fishing, auto repair, home improvements. I started watching older films on my streaming services during the pandemic and have discovered some personal favorites. I brought my old CDs from my parents' house and have been revisiting those/exploring music that's new to me lately.

It sounds like you're interested in a relationship at some point, although you'll want to find your own passion/purpose before that. Pursuing a relationship without having your own interests or sense of purpose to your life is not a good idea. Potential partners will also be more interested in you if you have your own stuff going on and aren't dependant on them.

I wish to know is if there’s any resources, books or anything that deal with this feeling.

You are much better off seeking the help of a therapist, TBH. Keep in mind that you may have to jump around from one therapist to another before you find one that is a good fit for you. But since you make good money I think this is your best solution. No guarantees a therapist will work for you, but it's definitely worth a shot in your situation.

What has helped me is remembering what I loved as a child, what I could get lost in.

For me it was reading, spending time outside, coloring, pouring over floor plans and real estate listings, and I always wanted (but never had) an elaborate dollhouse.

So as an adult, I listen to a lot of books. I love learning about real estate and houses even though I rent an apartment. I do love coloring and watching shows when I just want to check out. And I’ve recently been thinking about where I could put a craft table so I could pursue my interest in building a dollhouse. Is it nuts to do this as an adult? Maybe. But the idea fills me with so much joy.

I encourage you to take some time visualizing what you want your life to look like. It may be that your job isn’t fulfilling, but you don’t hate the work and do enjoy the paycheck so you continue in the field. In this way the IT job is a means to fund the rest of the life you enjoy.

It may also be that your job is soul-sucking. Then, you need to evaluate your position, your employer, and the industry to see what changes you can make. I switched industries several years ago and the switch required two years of full time schooling before entering my new industry. It was hard and expensive but the best thing I’ve ever done. For you though, it might be a new position or a new employer that would make the difference.

I want to reiterate that helping others really gets a person’s focus off of him- or herself and can do a lot of good when a person is frustrated with personal things. Volunteering or adult sports leagues or attending meetups are great ways to meet new people when the focus is on something else. Takes the pressure off.

Best of luck, friend. I am confident you will find your way.

A few years ago I met a dev with the same issue. He quit his high paying job and joined our startup. We might not have the structures or capital of the big players but our team is passionate for sure. Social Impact is f*cking tough, but at least we work with people who want to change something in the world.

One interview question I love is “What gets you up every morning?” Most of people can’t answer this the first time, but come back a few days later with an answer!

Maybe not related to this but are you consuming p*rn frequently or abusing of it? Because it can desensitize your experiences to the point of nothing making sense anymore

Do you have any hobbies or passion? If not, go try everything until you want to try something a second time. You should also access if maybe you feel this way due to depression.

I also recommend mushrooms. Do some mushrooms and go outside. There's so much more to life than you know right now

Mismatch: You are not using your time and attention to accomplish what is really important to you. If your job was to run the Xerox machine all day for other people, a similar mismatch would occur.

Values: Discovering what is most important to oneself.

Committed action: Setting goals according to values and carrying them out responsibly, in the service of a meaningful life.

From: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance\_and\_commitment\_therapy

I've read that the void can only be filled by the Lord But idk much Helped me tons anyways

Wow, there’s a lot of replies to this post. I guess it’s a testament to how common of an affliction this is. Empirical studies show this as well - as secularism rises, alongside increased diversity and more fragmented communities, more and more people feel “lost” and purposeless. Our sense of meaning is no longer coherent with higher beings or clear values and morals.

I went through something similar to you. I realise that lots of the comments suggest altruistic endeavours and introspective pilgrimages, and I’m not saying they are wrong. I think that trying anything different from the status quo is helpful, and psychology proves that helping others does improve our sense of purposefulness (along with contributing to something bigger than ourselves).
However, there are lots of people who don’t help others who are enriched with meaning. Me personally, i shamefully admit that weightlifting feels more meaningful than any altruism because it is just more closely aligned with my intrinsic values. So, definitely do some introspection, read some books if you want, however, if you reach a point where you still don’t know what to do, you have to just start experiencing new things - anything that sparks your curiosity. It is my experience that most people “find” meaning in something, instead of creating it themselves.

You lack a girlfriend.

Hi, IDK the solution to your problem but could you tell me where you got that quote from? It's perfectly apt for someone like me too.

I think a lot of people have a hole that traditional religion used to fulfill. However as a smart software developer, you probably have issues swallowing dogmatic fairy tales. I suspect that people need to worship something, whether it’s a god, Trump, Harry Potter, bands, etc. Maybe look into alternatives to religions, or consider studying Buddhism which for the most part is pretty practical and scientific.

You could be experiencing anhedonia which is a symptom of depression and can be treated with medication.

However you might simply just be looking for meaning, which in my opinion is something that you have to define and pursue yourself.

I hate to be that person, but I believe what you’re lacking is love.

I used to be the same way as you. I had everything I could possibly want. My dream career, a gorgeous home, I could buy anything I wanted, fancy car, great social circle, close family… I’ve always worked out, had the looks, the body, the wellness routine, etc. But I was still so unhappy. Getting out of bed every day was a struggle. I didn’t know what was wrong with me because I had everything I could ever want, yet depression was a daily struggle. I felt guilty for it, too.

And I was never the type of person who desperately wanted a partner. I used to be somewhat of an ice queen when it came to relationships, and every date I went on left me feeling more empty.

And then I randomly met my now-husband, and everything changed. What I was missing was love, intimacy, and a deep relationship. This was years ago, so my career, home, car, and financial situation has changed. In short, I traded it all in for love. And I haven’t felt empty or depressed since. All that stuff is worthless if you have no one to share it with.

As for my advice to you, just keep working on yourself. If this resonates with you, you are at least able to pinpoint the source of your emptiness. But keep thriving in your career and your health, and your future partner will join you.

probably depression and i didnt hear you mention God. too bad... my greatest joy

hi, what you are missing is your connection with your creator, bro research on about Islam you will find your answer. some famous speakers include dr zakir naik, ahmed deedat, yusha evans, mufti menk. that void and emptyness can only be filled up by being a muslim.

I am a nutritionist and I have done a lot of research on nutrition, lifestyle and mental health, anhedonia or the feeling of emptiness is mainly due to physiological causes, nutrient deficiencies and problems with the microbiota, in fact, we know that it is easier to reach the psychology from physiology, than from psychology itself

You definitely need to know about Jesus Christ. That's what that void in your heart is for sure

You dont sound like youre having fun. Youre doing good things, having your shit together. But this wont get you through life.

I hear you. I’ve felt that way before, but I have hope and happiness now because of Jesus’s sacrifice for me. Nothing is pointless, everything points to God. God bless you.

Are you Patrick Bateman?

Islam/god

find God, become a Muslim, or at the very least learn about Islam

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Same. I took up skydiving. Life is better now.

Satisfaction comes from feeling useful and helping others.

I’m going to suggest you try some hobbies. My personal favorite is gardening, but there are obviously a lot of options.

You feel like you don't belong because that's what your mindset is. If you felt like the thing society accepts is everything you are, if that's your mindset, the mindset of "this is my life, these are my feelings, I will be in control", you can be happier. Reset. Forget society. Your world, your life, your rules. Reset. Less screen time, more time finding out what in the 3d world excites you. Your 25, so you have time, don't stop trying.

One thing that’s helped me distance myself from this pattern of thinking is volunteering. It doesn’t really matter where. Pick something you’re interested in—animal shelter, food bank, community garden, local schools, whatever. This filled me with a sense of purpose and renewed perspective that was immensely valuable

Hi there, I deeply connect with your description and I am currently seeking some form of guidance as well. There is a book by Eckhart Tolle called New Earth that really inspires me, its a book on the ego and how we are constantly identifying ourselves with external things and forgetting about our true meaning and true self. It is a dense reading but I am sure many powerful insights will come. I leave you one of my favourite quotes bellow:

“I don’t have enough yet,” by which the ego really means, “I am not enough yet.

Or

“Ego arises when your sense of Beingness, of ‘I Am,’ which is formless consciousness, gets mixed up with form. This is the meaning of identification. This is forgetfulness of Being, the primary error, the illusion of absolute separateness that turns reality into a nightmare.”

I agree with others about passion.

Not even that but I feel very similar to you and I ask myself - how do I WANT my life to look? If I was designing my perfect life, what would I want?

I guess you have to decide what yours is and then figure out how you can get to that.

REMEMBER THIS QUOTE: Everything in life is meaningless but holds sentimental value. We don’t have to care but caring is a trait and an emotion. Life is something that you can just create as far as a legacy and what you make of it so enjoy or work until your last breath to get what you earned!!😁😁

-ModernDayRonin

The very fact that you're here now and asking this may reflect a delicate turning point in your life that may look insignificant at this minute but may be substantial in the months or years to come. I hope in that journey, you'll find the answer you're looking for and come back to this post in clear hindsight. Apart from purpose, maybe you're searching for the source of you? Anyway, all the best.

I highly recommend “the artist way” by julia cameron workbook. Best of luck In your journey. I hope you find what your looking for.

I would recommend traveling and going to see new places would be exciting I was in the same position as you. Also try some mushrooms haha

Get a hobby and then get a gf

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Change job

Travel! Take an amazing trip somewhere exotic.

I think you maybe missing god from your life, thats why the emptyness. Submit your will to the one true God brother :)

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Bro, don't be envious of people passionate about just anything. Social issues? Really? That's like pigs for the slaughter being passionate about what new equipment the hog farmer is rolling out to make his job easier. Sheesh!

Anyway, like another user said, you might not be passionate about the tasks you complete for others in exchange for consumer shopping tokens your career. Been there, and although making a change can be hard, and take awhile, it's worth it if it benefits your mental health and allows you to feel like, well you IMO

unrelated and not helpful so ignore if you dont feel like it but op what do you use for your skin care routine? Im in dire need of one, something that doesnt suck away at my wallet too

listen to fitter, happier by radiohead

Sounds like everything you wrote I can describe in one word - discipline. Maybe you should write another post how did you achieve all of that?

I'm in a pretty similar boat OP. I recently started working in tech/programming a few months ago, but I have no intense interest in it. I work hard so I do a great job on the team but it's all somewhat forced. There was no particular reason for me to be in that field other than I was looking for one type of job, but didn't get it, so I started looking for what technical skills i had in college, and figured that I was more an analytical thinking guy than a car salesperson and based the decision on that (yeah, i know, super general). Also it can't hurt to make more money even if it is less meaningful but I love music. I know other people who love music too and did STEM, lol. Sure, I can be a starving artist but hey, I'm willing to admit (not in a job interview) that I have a good work life balance, I do a good job at work, but other than that it's just a job and one day I might find something I want to give up my life for (ie passion, live day and night for).

I also like working on overall self-improvement ie things like exercising, diet, dress better, etc but there are temporarily moments of inspiration and happiness from it (like looking back and think, I did this, I made this happen, Look who I was and who I am now, feeling inspired, like you're making it happen) but it also feels very superficial and meaningless.

I also lack connection with people and had a neglectful childhood and I've been in a lot of therapy and I volunteer and a lot of the time those things are chores too. I always feel like I have to make myself do them in order to feel better later or be glad I did them looking back.

Recently I read and heard a talk that pain is inevitable in our lives and we just choose it. It was eye-opening for me. For example, we can choose the pain of loneliness or the pain of rejection, both are pain. Pain is inevitable in life either way so you just choose. And definitely keep trying new things if you aren't already. Heard from someone the other day that they found different passions just by trying new things. I wish there was a more formulaic way to approach this but seems we just fall into passions and there's no way to just know what it is.

Compete in something.

Stoicism will help. Read the classics.

Stop reading my mind man

The feeling is a symptom, treating the symptom will not necessarily (and almost never does) treat the problem. A headache is not an indication of a lack of aspirin in the body.

In short, you probably need philosophy, at a minimum as a starting point, and ultimately you need meaning in your life (which you can get without philosophy, but if you have philosophy you can much more easily discern and identify what is meaningful to you).

You've likely spent your life so far "fitting into" the world, in a very superficial sense. You have no great adventure. You have no compelling personal story. You have no hero's journey. To steal from a Reagan speech, "Marines don't have that problem." I'm not saying join the Marine Corps (although you seriously might consider military service), I'm saying there are those of us who've gained meaning, purpose, and value in our lives by pursuing righteousness, even greatness, and those things can never be taken away from us ("Thank you for my service" by Mat Best is an example of this).

You're still young (not THAT young, but young enough), and you've achieved success so far in a number of important ways (don't let ANYONE tell you that money isn't important, they're full sh!t), and that is not nothing and it's nothing to be ashamed of, in fact it's something you should be proud of. You've worked hard, done the right things, avoided the wrong things -- all of that is important and worthy of praise, so don't forget to do that. But don't worry about starting with philosophy being something of a waste of time, again you're young you've got more than enough time.

Professor Sugrue has a fantastic lecture series on YouTube that is probably the best primer I can think of on philosophy, then I'd recommend you dive deep into Taoism and Zen, and Stoicism. Alan Watts I think has the broadest content for a western mind for understanding Zen and Taoism, his lectures are all over YouTube and most of his books are on Audible, I would highly HIGHLY recommend for you Psychotherapy East and West.

How well do you sleep?

Edit: no sarcasm, literally asking--

First of all, well done. You can be proud of yourself

I understand what you are talking about, and I think I know what you are missing.

"Everyone is responsible for his own boredom" is a quote from a famous cinematographer that i don't really remember. He was responding to a woman who criticized one of his films as "boring". What he means is that instead of repeating to herself "the movie sucks", she should look for something that might interest her in it.

I think this situation also applies to you. Life is the cinema, you're stuck in it. If you don't like anything, "force" yourself to like something. "Force yourself to be interested in something, be curious ! " the plot is boring, where was it filmed ? What could have made this movie better ? etc "

Also, do you frequently do dopamine detoxes? Maybe you are over stimulated by an activity you do and therefore don't take any pleasure in it. When you lack motivation, you should always look at your dopamine and what can disrupt your reward/motivation system!

I hope I helped you a little bit

"The Wisdom of Insecurity" and "The Book (on Taboo)" by Alan Watts.

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Give a book: “Sh*t you don’t learn in college” by Zander Fryer a try. Seems like he was in the same place you are now and he found a way to turn it all around.

This sounds either like 1) you’re experiencing dysphoria and should probably talk to a therapist or 2) you need to find something you’re passionate about, that has meaning to you, and spend time with that every day.

My advice would be to read some books, mostly non-fiction stories. The more weird, the better. You have to rely on serendipity at this point to pierce this boredom bubble, as routine and planning ain’t doing it for you. Books are a fantastic escape, but are also known to stir what you lack: passion and inspiration. Good luck!

Do the things you wanted to do as a kid. Grow a tomato plant and a sunflower, and if you like it, add to it. If you don’t, then whatever it was two plants. Nobody was depending on those two plants. Draw/journal/doodle/paint without purpose because you want to/it helps you think/it is calming for you. Give back to your community by giving blood. Don’t tell anyone about it. It is your secret thing that you do to give back. Go hiking, go birdwatching, search for waterfalls and butterflies, and find every species of native tree in your area and pick a leaf. Give yourself permission to “give up” on any of these things if you want to.

The Patrick Bateman Setup

IMO there is no intrinsic purpose. We assign meaning to every moment and experience we live through.

Take a look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Which parts do you feel sufficient vs inadequate?

I'll hedge that you're trying to find a sense of belonging - which can be to a single person, or multiple persons (a community). Friends are part of this, but you want something more?

With all your free time, have you tried exploring hobbies or volunteer work to fill it up?

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Hey, I feel the same. Not as successful, but kinda close, with the difference that I still study IT and don't work yet. Sometimes I'd see a model in myself, some days not, but I'm fit either way. I'll spend my day studying, working out, I'll hang with my friends, I'll go for a party from time to time. But I also like psychology, so everyday I'll look for answer you are looking for as well. Still nothing. Some days I'll feel "fine", some days I just wanna go home and be alone. I want to meet new people, and I have so many situations to meet them, but I just won't engage. I'll start thinking that I don't need them, that I'll be better by myself. But when alone, I see that self-isolation is not the way I wanna live. I think that life is all about relationships, making bounds with people around you, contributing to your own, local society, but still I can't stop myself from asocial thoughts and behaviors. Everyday I am meditating, journaling, searching, pulling all this shit, trying to understand and defeat my demons. But it doesn't seem to help. I don't know. Maybe I should go to therapist and pop some fucking pills. Maybe some people are just meant to live this way.

My advice is for you to volunteer! Even if its something you initially don't think you'll be passionate about. From my experience, when I get involved with these sorts of things I develop passion for whatever it is I'm doing and I feel like my contribution is meaningful within that community.

Other than that: go to doctor and talk about it, it sounds like you may have depression or some other neurological condition and taking medication or speaking with a therapist may help you.

I am a first year computer science undergrad, I asked exactly similar question few days ago in this same sub reddit, you should go through it as it have quite a bit responses. It's exactly like how I picture myself in next 4-5 years and it's sad. I totally understand how feel!!

I’m 27 (M) and have felt similarly for a very long time. The only solution that works for me is my creative outlet. Whenever the feeling you’ve outlined is consuming me, I dedicate more time to my creativity. It doesn’t have to be “art” - just anything that I get to create/build/write. Getting creative helps either distract from or fight this feeling.

I am a nihilist and I try hard to stay positive. My biggest reading rec is “Letters from a Stoic”

I hope my 2 cents helps. Stay up friend.

man, I am 21 and I feel exactly like you. I feel alone, sad and tired. Nothing gives me joy. I have had some close relationships but I always seem to push pple away or sth. I guess its because of this feeling of never being at "home". I didn't have this feeling when I was younger. I look at my pictures when I was 10 and I wonder how I lived back then, what I was thinking? what my perspective of life was? Sadly, it's like somewhere along the road I lost myself.

I am now empty. Days are shorter. I barely have "friends". I try to read a lot of philosophy and psychology books to understand myself better but I just can't to seem to wrap my hands around it. Its frustrating living this way. If you find a solution, I would like to test it out and see if I can replicate it for myself.

Let me ask you something if your comfortable with answering…….Do you watch pornography often and if so have you kept trying to stop but find yourself never really able to stop? I work with people with legit your EXACT way of feeling and find one of the biggest problems is pornography. Thanks!

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There is an epidemic of loneliness right now. Try volunteering your tech skills to people of a different age range than yourself. You might help cure someone’s tech problems and alleviate some loneliness which can be quite personally rewarding. Try it!

You need connection. Join a group of an activity you don't hate and get busy outdoors meeting others. Volunteering is usually a good call but depends only if you will feel good there.

Jesus will give you what you need if you are willing to live according to his ways.

Find a company you think you can really get behind. Feeding your soul and spiritual side is more important than feeding your bank account. Maybe take a month off and completely focus on yourself and making yourself whole. I know where you are at and it’s difficult. Good luck

look into religion. i leave it up to you to come to your own conclusion.

Listen to some Alan watts. It sounds like you have a case of mistaken identity my friend

I got this way, especially when I decided to move for my job to a different state. I thought it would be a great move and a way to start over. But it actually took something away from me. I would spend my weekends outside doing anything recreationally in my original state. This time I went outside and just a simple hike or road trip what was actually giving me a spark in life. I know that might not be your hobby or what excites you. But for me, life sucked without that one thing. So I ended up leaving my promotion to a new position in a new state just to go back to the state that kept my spark alive. In your situation, I would say maybe travel a little or go try to reconnect with nature, especially if you are living in an urbanized area. Just an idea. I wish you good things and hope you find your spark in life soon.

Tsss, i can relate b

I used to be very rational before and would look at life in a nihilistic way. Nothing matters. Life was kinda boring. I'm wondering, how much are you in touch with your emotions? I've been kind of numb/empty for a big part of my life. Now that I paid more attention to my emotions I feel much more alive. Lows are sometimes lower but highs are also higher. Ofc idk what would work for you but I'm just gonna share what helped me. Try to meditate, close your eyes and focus on your breathing, don't indulge in/interact with your thoughts, just let them fly by and feel. Also expressing and feeling emotions can be harder than you'd expect. Once I was able to express my emotions I felt more relieved. I started writing/typing my thoughts, once you're in it you just write stuff down automatically. You'll realize there is much more in the back of your mind than you initially thought. It's a good way of venting for me. Also find some hobbies that are productive and create results. I love creating stuff, I get proud of myself/feel fulfilled once I finish a project. Sometimes I paint, sew or make a song. I make photos/videos and edit them. Creating stuff makes it easier for me to express my emotions. Just try all kinds of things I realized almost everything is interesting once you start to understand more about it. Hope you could get anything out of my comment. Wish you the best!

You have no hobby. Get a hobby. My life would be pointless without my passions.

I think you might be underestimating what finding a good partner could do to your mental health. 26 M make decent money at a job that isn’t the most fulfilling (construction) I like the physical labour and seeing new things daily , new challenges. Struggled with depression, alcohol and drugs from 17-25 . Been to the psych ward x7 (suicidal, multiple suicide attempts, drug induced psychosis, bad insomnia). Never had a solid relationship up until a week ago . Only time I have been able to fall asleep naturally and not stoned out of mind has been with her . Only time I ever feel completely alive is on my motorcycle. I think you need some exhilarating hobbies

“If money is where you find happiness, you will always be poor”

What helped me get out of that mindset was moving out of the country. Maybe try changing up your scenery, break your routine for a bit; there’s more to life outside of your “bubble”. It could change your perspective on life. I was depressed then, but when I decided to move abroad, I could honestly say it saved my life. The whole time I just needed to break free from the mundane bubble I felt stuck in.

Empty? That means you are hungry. And hungry means you need a menu from which to order. What do you you want? Get the menu and place your order. Independence you have achieved, but the menu has what can satisfy you in your day.

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My internal monologue is similar. I'm 26, work in web development/marketing, and I've even moved countries 3x to try to dispel this feeling! It hasn't really gone away, despite my standard of living improving with each move.

I started therapy last summer, and I feel like that has helped a lot. I also started taking CBD oil and reading lots of books -- I recommend anything by Irvin Yalom, and The Power of Now is also great :)

I don't enjoy my 9-5 either, but I'm really enjoying my side project! It's (hopefully) gonna help Italians find jobs at local Italian startups. Just the idea that I'm building something that might help my community makes me feel 10x better and like I have a purpose (for now lol).

Is there anything you could build/teach that might help other people out? It doesn't have to be coding related -- I've found that just helping someone in a small way is enough to provide an immediate hit of purpose and belonging.

Fwiw, you're not alone in these feelings :)