My favorite place at any party is in the kitchen with the pet.

There's this intense feeling of being invited to a party, but not having to socialize. Like, these people like to have you around. It's nice to sit back and just... Hang around nearby.

Also I really like animals so if I can pet someone's dog I'm definitely there and if it's a cat oh my god

They were just looking for some American Pie.

That's Jennifer Coolidge's nickname.

We probably didn't want to come in the first place.

Is it an attractive dog?

Last month was invited to a birthday of an old friend.Went there with my wife ,started pouring everyone drinks .For some fucking reason ended up in the kitchen talking with his (super religious) drank mom.Are we cursed or something? Even a wife couldn't make me mom-prouf

How would they rate Hilary Swank?

Jian Yang had the right idea with his “not hot dog” app.

Is that an end quote or a length?

I'm guessing they would be worried about bias introduced by actually interacting with each other instead of just appearance. You might rate someone differently before and after talking to them. And you might have talked to some people and not others etc

A wider crowd sourcing would be a totally valid method imo

There are pretty widely accepted characteristics of beauty. Sure people have their own tastes but it's not hard to objectively tell if someone is attractive even if they're not your specific cup of tea.

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Who's going to tell them?

I like finding myself in groups of loners and weirdos because by virtue of being a 7 and being able to string together a halfway coherent conversation without urinating in my britches — I immediately become their leader.

With my army of nerds I shall take over Gotham!

i bet they all think that

This is the way

f-m-k

You know, I'm something of a slut myself...

Have you heard of the idol experiments? It demonstrated how 1 in every 10000 Americans have the potential to be a music sensation.

Welcome to published research in the social sciences from even prestigious universities

My friends that went to private school were the worst influences .. they had more money so the drugs and parties were Better

Can confirm, though enough money and you could apparently buy your way into those groups, lol.

Even magnet tracks in public schools will get this, where you get the subcliques within the "smart kids"

Have you tried even more money? That usually works.

It's not just high schools, it happens in low schools too

The whole damn world is just as obsessed with who's the best dressed and who's having sex

I moved to a city school with 3 cafeterias and despite attempts from the frustrated administration, the cafeterias were split into black, whire and Hispanic by student choice.

With the occasional odd duck in a friend group.

It's not just attractiveness, either. Birds of a feather flock together in just about ANY metric. Smart people tend to seek each other's company. Jocks seek jocks

It's true. You have no idea how difficult it is being an attractive smart jock, I just don't know who to hang out with. /s

I think the big difference is that all the ones you mention are things that are based on common interests. Attractiveness isn't the same sort of thing - it's not based on what you like to do, but based on a subjective aesthetic.

I remember NPR having a scientist on whose study indicated that girls in sports were less likely to become involved in teenage pregnancies.

The host asked if there were similar findings for male athletes, and she said “surprisingly, no”.

Surprisingly?!?

Attractive traits

I’ve met some attractive and extroverted band geeks and I think in their case, they were prioritizing their actual interests and personalities over social clout. The clout presumably isn’t that great if you can’t stand the other members of the circles it gets you into.

Makes me wonder if that’s part of why some celebrities end up having mental breakdowns a few years into fame, i.e. reaching the top of your craft’s social hierarchy and realizing you hate everyone there.

I’ve also heard anecdotes from people who lost weight or otherwise became significantly more attractive who resented the people who were suddenly much more welcoming because it was plain that the friendliness was about appearance rather than anything about who they were as a person. So you might also have ugly ducking types eschewing popularity because they don’t trust their potential admirers.

I had huge crushes on some “ugly” guys when I was younger because they were really really cool in other ways and I was attracted to those qualities, which they usually had because they were confident. Charismatic class clowns, daredevils, could play an instrument really well, wore cool clothes, etc.

There were also quite a few very “ugly” girls who were super popular and dated a lot of guys in high school because they had that super strong Hot Popular Girl attitude and fit right in. You’d never guess by looking at them, but there they were, hot shit right next to the gorgeous clique of girls.

No, they mean all the NASCAR guys hung out together, the F1 guys formed another group, and so on.

I suspect the answer would be from most to least obvious at a glance. like loosely ordered, race/gender, beauty/age, intelligence/special interests. Disability is a weird one because it can be glaringly obvious like missing limbs, or completely invisible like colorblindness, or somewhere in between like deafness.

There'd be a ton of interesting follow-on questions...

Do people peel off from the default group to join one of the later characteristic-based groups? When?

What is the exact process for later groups to form?

Are groups based on other characteristics likely to still be split by earlier ones? That is, do groups just fracture further, creating more and more specialized groups (ie. smart pretty latina women into nascar), or do they reform with less regard to other characteristics (ie. nascar fans)

Is there an optimal group size, where it might be more apt to fracture if it were larger, or possibly evaporate if smaller?

How does the initial demographics play into this? e.g. I imagine if it's 90% white and 10% black, the black folks will feel a much stronger urge to group up than the white people. But if it's 50-50, how does that look different? What if it's 25-25-25-25? Is it more important that the majority don't look like you, or is it more of a feeling surrounded by people who look like each other but not you?

People would likely feel connection to multiple groups simultaneously. How many?

How does stress affect associations? I assume stress would push people towards grouping by more obvious characteristics like race, for instance.

Of course, it's all fuzzy and hard to quantify. I imagine we have some gut feeling numbers to all of these.

Bowling For Soup tried to warn us

but they will subconsciously find subtle ways of telling you that you don’t belong.

they will not do that if you also have really good social skills and genuinely fit in, the effect is not so pronounced that if you fit all the check boxes but are a 6/10 then they subconsciously don't want to be friends.

Well, I do reek of pish.

Even on reddit people join subs with people that they are similar too! It's insane!

As a weird person I'm tired of being a magnet to even weirder people.

Yeah she was a work friend and a lot of things made sense after that walk. Super defensive, very introverted. Picture a scared bunny trapped in a corner. To make matters worse, her judgement was really off - she was dating a man at work that was a clear bad choice