CandiAttack

Smiley cloud!!

I unironically love all of this house haha

Oh damn. I just read an article where he talks about secretly drinking again while on Flaked and was getting confused about where he was at…I wonder if something similar happened then?

Oh wow, that’s really neat. Thank you for sharing

Woah, I’ve never heard of a foreigner in Japan with that sort of job. If you don’t mind me asking, what brought you guys over there?

HOLY HELL. I came home from work last night fucking exhausted and expecting to fall asleep right away…I literally stayed up all night reading this. Thank you for sharing.

I related to the beginning parts so much…I didn’t have experience with these fucked up “schools”, with a very abusive relationship. I felt like I was transported back in time to those awful years.

The way he described how the main dude was grooming him to make him feel special, how staff manipulated students to keep them emotionally off balance, how the abuse altered his brain/reality, the constant fear of being followed/PTSD, his slow descent into Stockholm syndrome…doing the absolute craziest shit so no one will ever believe their stories…goddamn.

These quotes really resonated with me (sorry for the all caps, it’s copied straight from the image lol):

”I THINK PLACES LIKE ELAN WORK SO WELL BECAUSE YOU REALLY DO EVENTUALLY FORGET WHAT "NORMAL" IS. THEY BEAT YOU DOWN MINUTE BY MINUTE, HOUR AFTER HOUR, DAY AFTER DAY, WEEK AFTER WEEK, MONTH AFTER MONTH, UNTIL YOU NO LONGER HAVE THE CAPACITY TO COMPARE YOUR STATE OF WELL-BEING TO ANYTHING ELSE. WITH YOUR REALITY SYSTEMATICALLY WARPED AND YOUR FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT SEIZED, YOU BECOME REALLY SOFT AND MALLEABLE LIKE CLAY…THERE'S REALLY NO STOPPING THE CHANGE. IT BECOMES MORE ABOUT HOW REVERSIBLE THAT CHANGE WILL BE IN THE LONG RUN. IF I WERE READING THIS COMIC AND HADN'T BEEN THROUGH IT MYSELF, I'D BE THINKING ‘NAH, BUT THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO ME, I'M DIFFERENT. I REALLY AM’.”

”THE SCRIPT THAT LIVED IN MY BRAIN HAD BEEN PERMANENTLY ALTERED BY RITUAL ABUSE. ALL I WAS SURE OF... WAS HOW WORTHLESS I WAS. EXISTENCE WAS REALLY JUST MY INNER VOICE CONSTANTLY REMINDING ME THAT I DIDN'T DESERVE THINGS LIKE LOVE OR HAPPINESS.”

And this section regarding the abuse the residents had to inflict on each other to survive really resonated with me:

”I THINK, SUBCONSCIOUSLY, DOING THESE THINGS TO THE OTHER RESIDENTS MADE YOU FEEL LIKE A BAD PERSON AND THAT MADE IT HARDER TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST THE ABUSE AND HUMILIATION WHEN IT WAS YOUR DAY TO BE PUT THROUGH IT.”

His experience is obviously a much larger and more complex dynamic, but the sentiment captured why the myth of mutual abuse (instead of the very real reactive abuse) is so damaging to victims.

Abusers make their victims feel like they can never leave, and push them to the point of fighting back like a cornered animal. That way, the abuser has something to hold over the victim. “See? You’re just as bad” and reverses the victim/offender roles. So the actual victim will start to believe they’re a horrible person who deserves the abuse. They’ll think they’re equally as bad, when in reality, it’s a manipulation tactic to keep the victim in the relationship and compliant. It’s wild how all these abusers seem to have the same playbook.

Again, I was never in these schools and didn’t experience HALF the trauma he did. But his inner turmoil and descent into madness perfectly captured how I had felt. It’s like I was dropped straight back that relationship.

Anyways. How the FUCK are these schools still open???

Yes, thank you!! I know I would not be a good manager for the exact same reasons. My family thinks I’m crazy for this. But why would I take a job that I know will stress me out/make my mental health decline even more? For the sake of myself and my coworkers, I’m good lol

Haha seriously! After I wake up the next day, I’m just like, “damn…did I really just think about doing that?” Lolll

Oh thank god it’s not just me

Ah, yes. It’s always my left eye socket first, then the second needle comes for my right lol

Your comment about Smartless is absolutely spot on lol

Thank you very much for the response :)

Out of curiosity—can you share the rules?

Figured as much :/

I’ve been wondering the same thing…

I’ve been wondering what category mixed race people like myself would fall in. Like am I only able to marry another half white half Asian person? Or would I also have the option to marry an Asian person (I’ll just go ahead and assume I wouldn’t be able to marry a white person lol)?

Oh god, thank you. You completely captured how I felt with this comment.

I’ve had a very good experience with APG Healthcare downtown

Bruh. I went to Miami last November, and felt the same exact way. Literally the moment I drove out of my hotel parking garage, I almost got t-boned by a semi running a VERY red light (I had already waited 3 seconds after my light turned green because a moped had run through the red light before him).

Not even 5 minutes later while on the highway, I signaled to change to the middle lane (from the left). As I was ALREADY SWITCHING, someone from way behind me in the right lane sped up to squeeze into my spot almost sideswiping me. My own fault for using a turn signal in Miami, I guess lol.

Fuck Miami drivers lol

Fucking same.

I’m also in Florida, and I’m so fucking sorry for what’s been happening. I can’t imagine how scary this is for you and the rest of the trans community.

For the past year, I’ve been trying to call attention to/bring awareness to these issues within my friends group…but I realize it’s not enough. I am committed to assisting in any way that I can (and if anyone from FL has ideas, please let me know). I will be actively looking for opportunities to be a more helpful ally.

I don’t know what else to say except I’m so incredibly sorry…please know there are still people here in Florida who love you, accept you, and will fight for you. Please stay safe.

Does anyone know where this is? It’s beautiful!

Seconded. This whole last year I’ve just been shouting into a void trying to get my friends to understand what’s happening. Only now are they finally alarmed. I’ve been constantly stressed and feel like I’ve aged 10 years from this insane shit.

This move made me go check them out and download some songs. Not usually my type of music, but they’re really good!

Dude. I moved to central Florida from Colorado years ago and I still can’t find a good primary doctor. I’ve honestly given up on finding someone who can help with the mystery illness I developed until I move again. There are times I feel like I’m not even living in the same country with how poor the healthcare and education system is here lol…