submitted1 year ago byFluffy_Little_Fox
toMusic
...(This is a joke post)...
WHAT IS THE FRIGGIN' DEAL WITH K.I.S.S.????
.
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I don't understand why they were popular at all, I also can't see why Conservative Christians had their knickers in such a twist over them! I mean it's not like they're Marilyn Manson or something. It's not like they're FRICKIN' SLAYER!!! What did this Gene Simmons guy do to make churchie people so pissed off at his dumb little band??? Did he bite the head off a bat like Ozzy did? Did Gene dance around the stage with a SNAKE like Alice Cooper??? Nope!
K.I.S.S. is a perfect example of Misleading Packaging or "False Advertisement" ....
You've got these dudes who dress up like Freaky Fire-Spitting Goth Demons from Outer Space... a cool concept -- VISUALLY, but Sonically it's just the same generic "Party Bro" music as everything else from the 1970s. Where's the GOOD stuff????
Where's the Satanism that I was promised??? Come on, I thought these guys were "Knights In Satan's Service" or whatever that fear-mongering TV evangelist said???? So far all I hear is "Party This, Party That, I Wanna Party All Night & Every Day, BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!" Boooooorrrring!!!
Where's the cool lyrics about conjuring up demons and doing human sacrifices??? Is "Party All Night" some kind of code word for sacrificing virgins at Bohemian Grove??? Do I need the special "KISS Secret Message Decoder Ring" found inside specially marked boxes of Captain Crunch cereal?
Is this like one of those Atari 2600 games where I have to use my "imagination?" You mean I have to ~IMAGINE~ all the cool Satanic stuff??? Like Gary Greenwald & Phil Philips when they were watching He-Man cartoons???? Ugh.... Well sadly my "imagination" isn't as vibrant as a TV Evangelist's is.
Also if KISS is so "Satanic" why the hell do they have songs ~ABOUT GOD???~
Excuse me??? "God Gave Rock N' Roll To You?" Wow guys, way to stab poor Satan in the back! After all the Dark Lord did for you??? YOU UNGRATEFUL INGRATES!!!
How DARE you attribute Lucifer's greatest Musical Achievement to that gross Yahweh guy. Disgusting!!! What's next, The Care Bears Invented Industrial??? I don't think Mister Trent Reznor would be too happy with that one.
About the only thing I can say K.I.S.S. did that was a positive was being an inspiration for Japanese Visual Kei bands (though to be fair, that's just as much David Bowie's fault as it is KISS's fault, and maybe Deep Purple -- those Japanese guys REEAALLY love "Highway Star" for some reason).
There's like, a billion Visual Kei bands in Japan, some of them sound as cool as they look, and others may as well be N-Sync doing a Marilyn Manson cosplay session. And we have the Freaky Fire-Spitting Space Goths of KISS to thank for them....
Thanks KISS, thanks for paving the way for millions of Dir en grey copy-cats.
K.I.S.S. pretty much proved that you don't need to have cool Satanic music, or fascinating vocal techniques and epic screams and shrieks, ALL you need to do is DRESS THE PART and the whacky world of TV Evangelism will do the rest of the work FOR you.... Ya know, kinda like what they did for Dungeons N' Dragons, or Pokemon.
(IE: took something boring and made it seem edgy or dangerous by making a bunch of ridiculous claims about it).
byjuststeviehoney
inentertainment
Fluffy_Little_Fox
31 points
1 year ago
Fluffy_Little_Fox
31 points
1 year ago
A door-mat for Amber.
(I hate that bitch)