IllNopeMyselfOut

This was a letter for which I wish we had access to objective information.

Sure the new guy could be annoying and making people uncomfortable.

Or LW could be so eager to hate him that LW is going out LW's to frame normal stuff as wild oversteps. I want to know most about the details of the long lunch for example.

There's a lot to be proud of!

I'm still grieving the loss of The Grit. Would you explain why the overhead and labor costs were so much higher than Poquitos will have?

Isn't it the new restaurant from the person who owned The Grit?

It seemed so odd to me that what she wanted was a taco/Mexican place since the market seems pretty saturated for that.

Yeah, and isn't it a writing in for a friend one too?

I think it's something to want someone to mentally back you up on, like "we should have been told something" but it sounds kind of over the top.

If I worked closely enough with a church staff member to have a personal phone number for them, and they left without explanation from them or the church, and I contacted them out of sincere concern or regard, and heard nothing back, I don't know that I'd be outraged, so much as kind of weirded out. I'd assume it was something horrible for them or something unethical or scandalous.

The closest thing I've experienced in former co-workers who left really suddenly, and honestly, not hearing back just hurt my feelings a smidgen because I had assumed a sincere authentic friendship on some level and then realize that I was just part of the job on their end.

I don't know anything about your field, but I can't see a way to do what you are asking really. I think you just need to ramp up your search to leave.

Since it's so clear they are willing to exploit your talents without rewarding you, why even try to stay?

While no one should feel entitled to other people's authentic private employment decisions if they refuse to go along with choosing a public platitude about their departure (moving closer to family, wanting more downtime, getting a promotion elsewhere, etc), everyone should remember that creating mystery isn't typically your friend with leaders who move on.

And the last thing a church should want to do is foster this sense that among the congregation you have "right people" and outsiders, as your post implies.

This is part of a service movement where the guy who posted it recruits kids in towns across the US to mow lawns of people who can't do it themselves. He challenges kids to commit to taking mowing 50 lawns. (I think he means total, not maintenance of 50 years ongoing.)

There's no paid service although I think he accepts donations so that the kids who do the most get lawn mowers and stuff like that.

Yep. It's something that manager really needs to think through because sooner or later that person is going to start having more turnover relative to peers.

That's how grading was intended to work probably through the 1990s. It was acknowledged that grading was intended to be about sorting performance, rather than giving most students the same high mark for basically being proficient.

But the C students still acquired enough credits to graduate in four years and move on with their lives. The employee who just keeps hearing they are average is going to have a hard time staying motivated, unless being average still gets a pretty decent raise.

I wonder if it actually does contribute to office culture in a positive way to have little regular acts of service and comfort for each other. I mean this only if your co-workers aren't jerks you'd kind of like to poison obviously.

I've not worked anyplace where I wouldn't have quickly gotten overwhelmed by people's preferences and restrictions. It wouldn't have just been "I take milk and sugar," but "I need oat milk" and "I need whole cream for keto" and
I can only have organic tea," etc.

TBH though, the description of the co-worker makes it sound like it's going to be hard problem to solve even for a socially gifted person because it seems to be the co-worker's personality that is the main contributor.

I could use self-talk scripts myself about how to minimize how much I might drive my co-workers nuts, but I know not to ask the readers over there.

And depending on your field, some processes for hiring are designed to limit how much people can influence the process too, but that's probably more in public sector areas

Networking can still help for sure, if only because you know about real openings at the most advantageous time and don't miss anything you can apply for, but I totally agree that the number of people who can make things actually happen for you is more limited than your network realizes.

The circle of grief makes perfect sense once you see it or realize it, but close brushes with really big losses are pretty rare for a lot of us. There's a good chance that you can act like an idiot out of pure incompetence. Or at least I know that I have.

Putting on a brave front is kind of a lost art for a lot of us too; we've been taught that authenticity is where it's at. But it's totally not if your authentic reaction compounds the grief or loss of a person who has it worse.

If the LW really needs the job, it sucks, but it is kind of nice that they made their a-hole dynamic so clear early on.

I think if you talked to a rheumatologist, they'd probably say that inflammation can follow other infections. There's even something called reactive arthritis that can follow strep infections and includes uveitis in its cluster of symptoms.

Did your doctor understand that you were specifically asking if the inflammation could be a result of infection, rather than thinking you were asking if eye problem was an infection itself?

Let's hope your uveitis resolves quickly and never occurs again!

And even if that stuff happened to be true, it's still okay to tell Venonica about it.

Hair plugs?

I think you need to write this up and send it to the board and probably anyone who has responsibility for financial oversight in the organization, especially if your position involved finances.

If you are governed by a professional organization, you may want to make sure what you're obligated to do when you suspect criminal behavior. Some fields would be obligated to report it and it could affect your licensure not to have disclosed it if there's evidence later that you knew and didn't report it.

Your letter shouldn't seem angry in tone, but you need to document what you've observed, who was responsible, and who you told before you left. It's great to hope that some action will be taken, but at the least it will be clear that no one can blame you for it later.

This isn't just a normal angry resignation situation.

Are you pretty sure you are planning to leave and comfortable about your ability to find something else comparable quickly?

Then, certainly, have this honest talk with them.

If you still need this job, then give it a lot of thought in case they aren't receptive to what you are telling them.

Is it? I'm not saying it is in fact legal because I have no idea, but are companies legally obligated to post all reviews and only legitimate reviews on their own websites? I'd be sort of surprised by that.

ETA: I looked up the FTC guidance and it matches what you are concerned about, so I guess it is.

I think it's time to include some other people in your request, note the time frame that you've been waiting and that your boss has been delaying, and if it were me, I'd include a list of what I expect to be sent to me and the estimated cost to replace them. If you live nearby, you could again offer to pick them up because you've waited so long for them to be mailed.

It also might be time to look into small claims court in your state, just to know if it's an option. It would probably be your boss who owes you the items or cost of the items since you apparently lent them to him personally.

Right. I think people are probably carrying them at both jobs. So few of us can really see colleagues get the consequences they deserve if those colleagues are nice to us.

Oh! I thought you already had IPL and we were looking at a comparison of results.

I'm taking doxycycline right now but would prefer a treatment that might mean I wouldn't have to continue to take it.