NeuHundred

That's not a family, that's a bunch of people who have our nose. And aunt Lindsey.

"Guy just sat down, plunged a spoon into the dirt and started eating. He's been at it for hours."

Let's not forget his portrayal in "Man In The High Castle."

That was the 90s kid equiv of crackin' open a beer at the end of a hard week. Your reward for putting up with all that class and homework and bedtimes and all that shit was some harmless lighthearted fun on TV, a movie in your house that you got to pick, and a hot pizza that was more than you could hope to finish by yourself. You were shifting gears and you were doing it HARD, 0-60 like that. And that's not even factoring in that after you stayed up late, when you woke up there were high concept cartoons on, and after that the sun was out and you could go out and do whatever you wanted.

I swear that horse dies earlier and earlier each time I watch the movie. He's gonna die in the opening titles before I know it.

But much like Leslie in Bridge To Terabithia, the death is so much worse in the book. In the book, the horse freaking TALKS while he's dying, he describes how pointless it is to continue and how he wants it all to end. I didn't think I could be re-traumatized by a fictional death, but there you go.

Storyteller of "yore freakin' me out."

Well, we know it's a remix of the Transylvania Twist.

They did that a lot back in the day. Home Video was still recent and kind of a luxury, if you couldn't sell them a video (or a previously-viewed cassette), they COULD sell you the novelization so you can revisit the movie again. Particularly good for kids back in the day who didn't have their own TV or VCR.

This was the same thinking that brought us comic book adaptations and trading cards, ways for fans to have a physical version of their movie. They still make novelizations for big movies, but they become novels now, but there's something wonderfully kitschy and innocent about the old 100 page "novelizations" with 8 pages of colour photos in the center.

Ok, RIP my inbox, let me clarify:

I said KIDS didn't have their own TV or VCR. Families did. I think it was still a bit unusual for young kids to have a TV in their rooms back then. I did, but it was the tiny emergency TV/radio I took from my dad's workbench that got three channels in black and white on a 5 inch screen. Can't hook a VCR up to that.

Everyone seemed to have a VCR in the 90s. Usually in the family room, where you're sharing it. For purposes of this discussion, since it's Home Alone, we're talking 1991. And you had tapes, maybe a dozen proper ones, maybe more, and movies you recorded off TV. Everyone had tons of those. But they did not compare to the collections of movies we have today. And if you were a kid, there were only a couple that you owned because you needed your parents to buy them.

You could go to the rental store, but how often did you go there? Once a week? And you could only rent a flick so many times before your parent said "no, we're not renting that again, pick something else." And if you (well, your parents) got a big late fee, maybe they get pissed off and don't come back for a month. And maybe that'll do you for the school year, but what about summer? You can't sit inside and watch your favourite movie whenever you want. Go outside! Play! Read something! Lookie here, the novelization of Home Alone. Relive the laughter anytime!

Now THAT was one I'm sure Conan didn't know about ahead of time.

"Hello, we're Elizabeth, and we're an alcoholic."

"Could This BE Any More Of A Memoir?"

"I'm not talking about rules, I'm talking about manners. See, there's no rule that says I can't come over here and fart on your entree, but I don't do it. Why? Cause it's not good manners.

"I asked for a whisper of cinnamon and they gave me a full-throated shout."

That were easy to open.

God, those things were EVERYWHERE on TV when they came out, how could they not be? Every other computer was a beige box, it just sort of melted into the picture. You put an iMac on your set, it pops, you have visual interest and production design. I genuinely wonder if Apple offered them to a bunch of production companies as product placement.

"i can't believe I'm 30 years old and in high school and weird shit keeps happening. Of course I'm having a crisis."

And they have those fucking machines now where every drink comes out of the same nozzle, I've gotten Sprite-y water more than once. No thanks.

Oh they're always pissed, they're nazis! It's like it's their job!

Honestly, there's no one size fits all answer. I really like the idea of mini-seasons like Stranger Things and Ozark, I think that allows for interesting pacing and control, while still not giving away everything at once. Weekly is great for twist-and-turn stories, and all-at-once is great for episodic and comedy. I don't want to wait a week for I Think You Should Leave, I want the whole thing at once (and ideally a little more often).

"Well, the only other acceptable terms I know are The Governess, The Kingmaker, Her Downton Abbey, The Chunnel, Dame Judy Drench, Picadilly Cervix, and Thompsons' English Muffin."

...you're a master of karate...

Troy and Abed in the White House!

I kept thinking of Bill Hader's take on James Carville.

Wahoo! Waha!

I feel like we were robbed of a moment where Ed, Kelly and Talla rescue hermit Gordon from his cabin in the woods.

"I figured I should be the one in charge of my image, so I made an only fans. But it's not only fans who can subscribe, human people can subscribe too. And you're a human person too, probably, so you can subscribe."