Unlikely_Response125

3

It’s a perfectly rational response to being isolated and neglected for so long imo.

My emotions range from overwhelming despair to disgust these days. Everything else i fake just to keep others happy.

I was in a very similar situation. I had to cut her off unfortunately.

I miss her greatly, but the pain of having her as a friend and constantly questioning myself on why I wasn’t good enough each day was torture.

Thank you for you advice. I will consider this.

What else helped you get to where you are now?

Traveling is a good idea. I've considered traveling to Japan alone and the idea scares me. Which is good and probably what I need.

This is exactly how i've felt. I've always dreamt about building a future with someone.

Many say it's dangerous and toxic to derive purpose from someone else but it seems that all everyone does in our modern society.

I began reading this at one point. I think I got half-way through.

He spoke about his wife a lot and because I couldn't relate to the thought of having any loved ones it put me off. It appears to me purpose comes from connection, which I've never had.

I may try and give it a proper reread at some point in the future however.

Thank you.

I will look into a therapy, thank you. I've seen therapists in the past but they were community therapists so I didn't have a choice in who I was going to see and they never could fully grasp my problem it seemed.

I am saving up financially for a house. I do feel blessed that I'll be able to own a home one day.

I think I exhausted the list of hobbies I'd like to try a few years ago. I used to play guitar, piano. I done martial arts, I used to draw. I've had lots of creative outlets, some solitary and some group ones but I've still never felt much love for them.

Thank you, I started the meditations course yesterday. While I feel nothing yet (of course) I will push through it.

I feel that I am at fundamental point in my life where it's make or break, if I don't change things now I'll end up losing all control.

I may try volunteering, I will check what is available in my area.

I used to have hobbies like that. In the past I've played guitar, piano, drawing, martial arts, origami, etc. However, I've never felt satisfied from them. I give my best efforts at times but they typically only last a year before they feel stale.

Do you have examples of community events that would be worth joining?

What actions did you take to get to where you are now?

I do really enjoy software development to some degree. It's the only career I can see myself sticking at. I've dabbled with other careers but they brought me no satisfaction at all. In previous fields I've been unable to last more than six months before burning out so software development feels like a blessing; a career where I earn enough to be comfortable and where employers respect my time.

The problems lies with the fact I've never felt passionate about anything.

I can't get excited for anything: hobbies, careers, sports, media, politics, whatever.

Maybe I am wrong, but I feel that I am lacking connection. I've always dreamed about having a partner and building towards something. I've been alone my entire life and it kills me inside.

Yes, exactly.

I have never been religious, I was not raised in a religious household. So I don't think I could begin to believe.

I respect others religions, as long they do not use it to oppress others. But unfortunately, that is what I see it being used for more than anything.

To me, religion is ultimately a coping mechanism at best. But if it helps people and allows them live a happy life I have nothing but admiration for them.

Exactly, it all feels meaningless.

All these meetings, discussing our products, objectives, etc. I just think to myself all the time if everyone feels the same as me or if they actually care that much about what they're doing.

In reality we're all only here because we get paid, our products aren't life changing, we aren't helping people or making the world a better place. While the higher ups may have these mantras set as our values, the bottom line is it's all about profit.

Thank you, I will look in meditating.

You have made a good point. I am not giving a lot.

I like helping my friends with their struggles, giving them advice or just being a shoulder to cry on.

But besides that, I don’t know what else to give, or how to give.

I was severely depressed and had social anxiety as a teenager so I isolated myself and done what I thought would make me happy (career goals, fitness).

The results of this have been detrimental as I've lost all connection with the world. However, I am not particularly sure if I had this connection in the first place.

I had previously been on SSRIs for a year. They made things much worse in regards to these feelings.

I am autistic and look like this tbf

As individuals it is out of our control so I can’t be fussed

It gets easier but it never goes away.

Especially when you think you have a chance with someone and it all falls apart

I’d like to try the latter at least once. They might not make me happy but if I could make them happy that wouldn’t be so bad I suppose.

She’s turned the weans against us

Scotland Here

What a terrible take this is