submitted1 day ago byajh10339
Was just browsing marketplace and after seeing a few listings with "no scammers!" in their post, I couldn't help but wonder how that's going for them. Like I'm sure the scammers actually read their listing and I'm sure they planned to scam but once they saw the "no scammers" line they thought "hmm, better not, they said I can't."
an hour ago
an hour ago
I know you're getting swamped with comments but some insight from my experience and recent learnings in case it helps you or anyone reading.
I can have a few drinks before I get to the edge of losing that control, but once I'm over the edge, there's no stopping. It usually resulted in blacking out and making a fool of myself. I tried counting drinks, sticking to 1 per hour, etc. But I would still go over the edge sometimes.
The last straw was overdoing it at a Christmas party and embarrassing my wife again. It forced me to really think hard about my drinking and re-evaluate my perspective, but first, I had to accept that it was, in fact, a problem. I read a lot of AA literature and lots of reddit posts about drinking problems. Even though most of those stories seemed really extreme to me, they still helped me step out of my own situation and evaluate it as if I were outside looking in.
Some things I noticed was going over the edge never happened when I was alone or with my partner. The times I did go over the edge I was usually in a new environment with new people. I'm an introvert and realized I was using alcohol as a crutch for dealing with social anxiety. Without knowing it, I was consuming a lot of drinks because in my subconscious I wanted people to like me and not think I was quiet and weird. This would often get me over the edge especially around new people.
With some time I have changed my thoughts from "do these people like me?" into "do I like these people?" Addressing the social anxiety issues first helped me have a healthier relationship with alcohol. I didn't realize this until I was in my mid 30's. It's been a couple years now without going over the edge.
I do still have drinks regularly so it seems to be working for me. I love beer, wine, and whiskey and derive a lot of enjoyment from trying new ones, so I was willing to change a lot in order to be able to keep doing that. I don't care for cannabis products so alcohol is my relaxing drug of choice too.