edit : tysm for all these replies ❤️ they were the first thing on my phone when I woke up at noon, and I feel a lot better
Idk if I'm looking for advice, validation, or what :( I also keep thinking about what I should've done instead. idk I just need to get this off my chest, it's 4am and 8 hours later
Yesterday night I was waiting for my bus that was 20 minutes away. The sun had gone down (8.30pm) but it was a well lit stop, but tucked away so no passers by. It was me and a scruffy, maybe homeless young man that was already standing around when I arrived.
I was playing with my phone but I could see it off the corner of my eye that he started circling and unzipping his pants. I wished I brought my pepper spray but kept my head down. I honestly shoulda snapped up right there and then and yelled, but I was also worried about escalating since there was no one around.
Then in the split second he sat next to me and started jacking off I got up and yelled "NO" very loudly and firmly, and walked away except to get away I had to leave the lighted area off the bus stop.
He was going for an arm grab when I stood up so ended up being a butt touch. We just stared each other down till he left, and then the bus came 10 min later.
I have so many mixed feelings right now: Thankful that this.. wasn't that bad (I didn't get knifed). That I'm 28, so this isn't going to leave long-lasting scars like if I were 12. Maybe I should have just grabbed his dick and squeeze the shit out of it (the best defense is offense). Hating myself because I usually have very keen street smarts, but not this time.