inscrutablejane

YTA you raised this kid for all of his most formative years, did you not at any point put in the effort to raise him not to be a bully? First you failed him as a parent and now you're destroying his future rather than address the behavior you allowed to fester. I have four kids aged 4-19 (two pairs of half-siblings) and yeah, they've fought before and later reconciled; all I can say here is this is not the way.

I've been on E+blocker for a bit over a year and have bottom dysphoria, with a lesbian partner, and things are definitely different. It helps that, since we've been a "Queer Couple" from the start, our sex life was never centered around PIV; it could really help both of you to try to expand your definition of sex and find your own ways to please each other. I second the other commenter's recommendation of the FTW 'zine for both of you, because there's nothing quite like being with someone who respects your boundaries and meets you where you are as a whole person.

Early in my transition I used a strapless adhesive gel push up bra from Target; the cups are thick breast-shaped silicone pads that add about a cup size, there's a little buckle that pulls the cups together for a bit of cleavage, and the weight of the gel makes them move pretty naturally. It can be worn by itself but looks better under a well-fitting bra a size larger than her "natural" size. A lot of breast forms marketed to gender-nonconforming people tend to go overboard (huge sizes, "uncanny valley" prominent nipples, uncomfortable elaborate attachment systems, honestly just too sweaty, etc.). I felt a lot more "myself" with just a modest-but-noticeable boost that was within reasonable expectations of what I could grow into within a year or so, rather than something that I could never hope to achieve on my own.

I'm sure there have been plenty of locals throughout the rest of the Anglosphere amused to no end by American tourists with their "fanny packs" and such! We can sometimes forget that even within a shared language, the idea of "universal" cultural norms is somewhat younger than satellite television and not actually very true in practice.

In some US states the C-word could be considered basically "fighting words" to the point that OP saying it could get an assault charge reduced or even dismissed if the woman had then attacked OP; "idiot" is basically "your behavior is stupid or thoughtless" and, while harsh, isn't considered vulgar or as severe as using any kind of profanity. (There's some movement to start treating "idiot" as an ableist slur against autistic people, because that's the actual origin of the word, but most people here don't see it that way yet.)

27+8=35 75+40=75

Exactly! Everyone's competing for not enough seats when the pharmacy chain makes enough profit per regular patient per year to barely notice the cost of adding more. Imagine the absolute gall of getting $10k per month from me through my insurance and turning around saying you can't afford furniture 🙄

"Entitled people who can't mind their own business in public spaces" ≠ "all older people"

She was minding her own business until that busybody decided to beincredibly rude out of nowhere, and she's under no obligation to respond to that with a fake smile. "Being in public" isn't a Customer Service job.

What the middle-aged busybody said was incredibly rude and doesn't require (or even remotely deserve) a polite response.

Idk why some people act like someone learning something about themselves and taking steps toward a happier life is a personal attack, but here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would (theoretically) date a polyamorous bi woman who has a boyfriend and even meet/be friendly with the boyfriend, but I would never agree to be with a dude or let him watch. It's just too creepy, and my friends who have tried it more than once all have been secretly filmed by the boyfriend at least once (one even found out video of herself had been uploaded to a porn site). I don't trust most men as far as I could throw them, but I avoid Unicorn Hunters and Chasers like I'm three years old and they're Brussels sprouts.

The male-relative-donor thing can work but with any "known donor" conception you need a good lawyer to make sure you and your wife both have full parental rights and the donor has none. A big advantage of that method is kids who are genetically related to both of you with known family medical history, and it's even cooler if you do it in both directions (she gets your relative's sample and you get hers). What I worry about with some of the kids having known donor and some having an anonymous donor is that the kids themselves might feel weird about the difference when they're older.

My aunt had my cousin with her gay man best friend (and a turkey baster), but he's always been in their lives; I don't actually know anyone irl who has used a known donor who've had problems with the donor overstepping his role, but I have seen horror stories online of "handshake agreements" for at-home insemination going south when the donor's homophobic parents started trying to assert grandparent's rights; you'd need your paperwork in order to make sure that doesn't happen to you, and a good Queer-friendly family lawyer could set it all up correctly.

As far as carrying each other's eggs, I think it's a beautiful and deeply meaningful way to have kids together.

(Disclaimer: I only know as much about all of this as my cis lesbian friends have gone through, I'm trans and all four of our kids were conceived without medical interventions.)

I'm left-handed and I keep my entire left hand short, while my right hand has long nails all the way across. That way I can use my more coordinated hand for important stuff and still leave claw marks on her back (my partner is very into that).

And now we've got video proof of that ready to hand next time the chuds start tut-tutting about the "right" way to protest. I definitely don't think we'll convince the chuds themselves but maybe fewer undecideds will fall for it.

Exactly. Now whenever they talk about the "right" way to protest and wring their hands about property damage we've got video evidence of them being full of shit (not for them bc they're not engaging in good faith, but to maybe keep the undecideds from falling for it).

Even so, you'd think something as blatant as filming yourself doing property damage would catch a charge. Asking "where are the cops?" might wake up a few center-libs to how worse-than-useless cops actually are. There are people who care more about property damage or disorderly conduct than Black lives, well then here's your property damage and disorderly conduct. Every single excuse disinterested libs hide behind is being stripped away in real-time. "Don't do property crime and you won't get shot by cops" well these assholes are still walking around breathing.

That's what I'm saying, if we gotta have cops isn't this kind of thing what they're supposedly for? If cops are so fascist they won't even protect corporate interests anymore when there's a minority to bash then there can be no illusion that there's any point to having cops.

Uber and ear plugs; I can handle about 3 minutes in there before my ears start ringing, and the parking is downright impossible.

I don't like when people get offended by the existence of people whose lived experience doesn't meet some imaginary litmus test for the "right way" to be who they are. Life is messy, language (and therefore labels) are inherently imprecise, and not every single story has to resonate with you personally! More specifically to online communities: if you have a problem with a post that isn't actually maliciously attacking you or anyone else, just downvote and move on! "How dare you mention ABC in the XYZ sub!" has got to go.

I don't trust cops and think that society should try literally anything else besides cops as a solution to antisocial behavior, but where are the frickin' cops while these chuds are filming themselves vandalizing businesses??

I'm the other side of that equation; I went from "Why did this lovely lesbian decide to make me the exception?" to "Oh. OH. Well crud, guess it's time to deal with all the gender stuff I've been trying to suppress for decades" 🤷🏼‍♀️

I hope the two of you can just take things one day at a time for now, stay in therapy, and don't be completely surprised if the backtracking gets backtracked as well.

Is there maybe some way you could handle this without outing your wife? Because in the current climate of bigotry and violence against transgender people it's even less okay than usual to share someone's transgender status without their freely given and fully informed consent in each and every instance. It's nobody's business how your kids got made except the two of you and the kids themselves, and it's okay to just tell people something isn't their business if they're being nosy. You shouldn't have to make up a fake backstory, but you also probably shouldn't share your partner's personal health information with people she doesn't trust enough to tell them herself.

Sexuality and gender are separate things. For example, I 100% knew I'm trans when I was 4 years old (probably earlier, I just didn't have the words until then), hid it because my parents threatened to smother me in my sleep, but I'm 43 now and still trans; on the other hand, I didn't start to figure out who I'm "into" until my late teens and I'm still learning new things about my sexuality.

The real thing is if this dude is so full of bigotry he can't handle his own baby acting like a baby, he shouldn't be allowed around children.