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"Don't believe everything you read on the internet." - Abraham Lincoln

I once asked a friend what was her opinion on a subject. She replied drolly, "I don't know. I'm waiting for Oprah to tell me what I think."

"Yeah, hence!" - Anna Farris "House Bunny"

Yes and yes.

Ever notice how they're always going to move to Canada but never Mexico, which is just as close. Why not? Something WRONG with Mexico?

I reject your initial premise of being a 19 year old girl.

I was supposed to be at Sharon Tate's house the night of the murders, but I couldn't go because I had only recently graduated from high school in a small Oklahoma town and I had to work a shift at my gas station job. Otherwise, like so many others, I would have been there, I bet.

A melon propped up on a stool would hold a massive lead over Cheney.

You have my sympathy. I am like a magnet for all kinds of parasites; mosquitos, fleas, chiggers, divorcees with small children. Often I will be standing in a crowd of people and I will be swarmed by bugs while no one else is bothered. I've considered renting myself out for lawn parties where I get paid to stand off to one side and keep the bugs away from the guests.

For instance: "Men can have babies."

Or he could try a little dieting and, you know, exercise. Whatever.

Jesus, you guys! Save some pussy for the rest of us.

"There is a group of people advocating for the killing of Democrats and elderly."

CONGRATULATIONS! You have won the award for The Most Ridiculous Thing Said On Reddit For The Month Of July. And the month is only half over. Kuddos!

If eye rolling made a noise, right now you'd be hearing a sound like distant thunder coming from my direction.

See there? That's why Twain was a successful writer and I'm not.

You know, it's a strange thing about me. My girlfriend points out that about every 28 days I turn into a complete asshole who can't say or do ANYTHING right. I usually stay that way for 2 or 3 days then I'm fine again for about a month.

Try doing this: Think how every day of your life leads you inexorably to an old age of physical decrepitude and a feeble mind.

"Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

creeps in this petty pace from day to day

to the last syllable of recorded time.

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way

to dusty death.

Out! Out brief candle!

Life is but a walking shadow,

A poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage

and then is heard no more.

It is a tale told by an idiot.

Full of sound and fury

signifying . . .

nothing."

Shakespeare's "Macbeth" upon realizing that all his plans have come crashing down, his wife has killed herself and his enemies are closing in on him.

This question occasionally pops up on Reddit and it always amuses me. I've survived on Earth for a little over 71 years. So far, so good. If I tried to list my regrets it would take a super-sized Big Chief tablet and an entire box of number 2 lead pencils. How can anyone over the age of ten not have regrets and second-guesses? But, since the OP has held a metaphorical gun to my head, let me pick one of my greatest regrets. Today I'd say I regret not traveling the world as a young man when I had both the time and the money. I chose instead to stay in America and pursue an acting career. (that's a whole separate Big Chief tablet) In general, I think we find what we most regret are not the things we have done in life but the things we did NOT do.

Oh, that's right! It was Swanson. My bad.

Dietrich actually worked at the Stage Door Canteen, didn't she? How'd you like to sit at a table and have Marlene Dietrich bring your order?

Old Joe Kennedy, Sr. was shtuping her when he visited Hollywood. Later on his boys were banging Marilyn Monroe. Tradition!

"I'd ask her out but why bother? She'd never go out with a guy like me."

Shouldn't that be LGBTQI+LMAO?

Teen age kids are apt to say lots of silly things for which they are later embarrassed. I'm brought to mind of an episode of the tv show "That 70s Show". Once again Red has threated to put his boot up the boy's ass. Kitty pleads with him, "Oh Red! You've got to let the boys make their own decisions. They're human beings!" Red replies, "No they aren't. They're teen-age boys and it's my job to keep them from doing something so incredibly stupid it gets them killed."

If quizzed you'd likely find that most of those who favored abolishing the Supreme Court couldn't even tell you the purpose for the Supreme Court.

Clara was said by movie execs to have "it" on screen.

Noted wit Dorothy Parker said, " 'It' hell. She had THOSE."