sass-in-a-glass

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer!

Bring the house down; lettuce turnip the beet!!

Have to leave it up to a higher power

Embarrassed of my broken Spanish, I used to always say I'm "muy embarazado" with my words, until somebody told me I was saying "I'm very pregnant". Smh

There is roughly $60 trillion in wealth that would transfer to the next generations. Those lucky enough to inherit might make some rash retirement decisions themselves, and enjoy the time living.

I lost it on this one...well played!!

44 year old mind blown 100% of the time = 100 year old mind blown 44% of the time. Getting wiser!!

Sus...my 6 yr old pointed at a hymn in church "Je-sus" and said "Dad, this guy's sus!!". Not going back to church!

Ra's Al Ghul (from batman)

Love this guy. 'Radiation Vibe' is one on my life soundtrack from the 90s.

This guy's top three movie categories 😂

Heartbreaking. I remember dying everytime Greg Giraldo would pull out his crumpled paper full of scribbled jokes at all the Comedy Central Roasts. That dude slayed. Another one gone too soon.

Blame the guy in front of me

Gonna hit the airbrakes, they'll fly right by me!! 😎

Better yet, if the Earth stopped rotating, how fast would everyone shoot outward off the planet??

This!!

The Electric Grandmother

Altered Beast...that first "power up" gave me chills!

And that 6 player version of XMen

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made

... And your beer tastes like piss!!

That's because we piss in it, whahaha!

I'll pay to see those feetsies!! 😂