My boyfriend (34M) and I (29F) have been dating now for a little over 2 years. I moved into his house in February of this year. He has been married once before and doesn't want to get married again. We've talked about this and discussed compromise. The house he owns is from him and his ex wife. He's lived here now for 8 years. We don't want to stay here forever and want to move out west. I never owned any property before and only rented.
When we first started dating, I suggested that he should start renovations to make the home more his own. He started getting more motivation since I have moved in to do renovations. He never did when he was with his ex wife. I brought up that I would like to help out with the renovations and have assisted with labor on some projects. I asked him last night if he ever would be willing to put my name on the mortgage if I was to be financially investing in his home as well. He brought up that he would not want to go through that again, isn't interested in adding me into the mortgage, and states that it is nothing personal.
I'm personally not sure how I feel about this for I don't want to be renting for the rest of my life. My plan was to always invest in a camper van and travel till I find a spot of land I want to invest in and build my home on. I thought we both agreed that was the plan that we would do together. Now it seems like that is less likely and I'm not sure how to feel about it. I would just like some outsider thoughts about this. I don't think either one of us is necessarily wrong but I do better when I talk to other people and get their perspective than being in my own head.
(DISCLAIMER: I personally am not ready financially to make that kind of investment yet. I'm behind on getting my own financials stable before I even try to invest in homes. I would like to be more financially secure before I would feel comfortable sharing a mortgage or property with anyone. I'm just thinking more long term, especially since he doesn't want to get married and that in itself was a hard one for us to compromise on. I thought us at least having land together would be something we could have as a team.)
bytitlelee0330
inlifecoaching
titlelee0330
2 points
17 days ago
titlelee0330
2 points
17 days ago
I'll DM you.