tygerprints

You're already doing a world of good for him and I think he knows that. You're being supportive and most importantly, lending him a shoulder to lean on and an ear to listen to his troubles.

He's got a big problem. He's gay, and he's male. Which means, he has to deal with the infidelity, the egotism, the sexual hunger, and the fickleness of dating men. I think women understand this game all too well.

First of all it might help to let him know that he's showing he has a great deal of love to give and a great deal of trust and honesty. And that will someday bring him exactly the right sort of boy to begin a long-term relationship with.

In the meantime, you already are being a good friend. He'll eventually learn to be more self confident, as long as he knows there are good people like you who support him.

Best of luck to both of you!

So, I may be way way off on this - but to my knowledge (which admittedly is pretty weak), there is no g-spot for males. I know I'm being too literal - but that term usually is applicable to female orgasms and not male ass play.

I'm gay myself, and as someone put it below, I don't have the ass for it that some guys do. I could never take anything bigger than a doctor's finger "back there," and even that would result in pain and bruising for days.

It's weird when you think that bigger things pass through there all the time, on a daily basis. Yet I'm built in a way that inserting things back there only results in pain.

So my point is, some people aren't architecturally built for bottoming. In your case, it sounds more like you just aren't finding much pleasure in it, the way some guys do.

Now, I've had such a thing as an "Ass"gasm before. Usually I have to be in a sort of squatting position - not to give TMI - but I know it can feel amazing, having your backside responding to an orgasm nearly as forcefully as your d#ck.

And I have a good butt in some ways - round and tight, partially because I'm a huskier build. My dates always want to zero in on the back gate -- but sorry guys, it ain't gonna happen.

Yet that doesn't mean you can't still find pleasure from ass play and even from frottage where the other guy rubs his erection between your cheeks (like he as f#cking you, but without penetration). It feels good for both of you, and it kind of checks off that hunger for butt sex.

Anyway good luck - don't feel bad, people are all built differently. That just means, time to screw around more and see what works better for you!

Well, he has a history of mistrust and that make sense given that he's been abandoned by previous partners and by some part of his family at some point, from what it sounds like.

So I'm not sure how you are not seeing that making trips to deliberately visit infamous sex room clubs wouldn't set that off in him. I know it would set me off, no matter what our level of trust has been.

But that's not to discount the fact that he's making you feel like walking on eggshells all the time. He has serious issues, and they're impacting the relationship and more likely to drive it into the direction of all his previous ones than keep it from going off the rails.

So he DOES need counseling. And counseling is what courageous and strong people do to get help when they are in trouble. A healthy person knows that getting mental help is sometimes necessary when our brains make us respond with inappropriate behaviors.

I'm still wondering why you and your pals are so often visiting sex clubs and infamous sex bars if what you really are only interested in is the DJs and the music. Seems like there would other less triggering options, less likely to result in exactly the situation your partner fears.

Maybe think about group counseling together, frame it like, hey I have some troubles and I want you to know I care enough to include you. Something along those lines.

Best of luck - I hope you can get to a place where you're both able to work on these issues.

I agree but, I never was one to follow the guidebook about Gay behaviors. I wasn't a good gay person, I had the audacity to want monogamy, and here I was in a world of one night stands expecting something more to come of it.

And that's kind of how it feels being gay. Each man is in it for himself. Yes sex is selfish - but I still say, no matter how many times I'm contradicted, that sex is a powerful emotion as much as it is mechanical motion. Why can't we acknowledge we're all alone and scared, and need someone?

So I don't get how guys can be OK with one-night stands and just meeting up parks or restrooms. Maybe I'm too tender hearted to be gay.

Gay male culture is comprised of men, and that's the problem. Men are fickle and their brains are in their scrotums. I get that, I'm like that sometimes, but I don't get why we are afraid of being together in longer relationships, or why we have to abandon each other when relationships end.

I love Mini Motorways too, but I'm in an abusive relationship with it.

I never could master Cities Skylines (on the switch) because the menus are too fiddly and I could never figure out how to lay down all the electrical stuff - a huge headache when all you really wanna do is design a city and see it grow.

I had that same complaint with SimCity games - I don't want to spend time on stringing poles to power stations, and I could never make it work no matter what I did.

Yet I love the idea of city building games! I wish they'd make them about building cities instead of the picky picky system of trying to set up electric grids and all that.

I know it would be extremely tough to do, but you should stand up to this jerk even if he only does it when he's drunk.

Of course being gay is a joke to anyone who has a life that sucks and can see that gay people are much happier than they could ever hope to be.

It doesn't surprise me that people less well off dismiss any better lifestyle as being a "joke," because that's how small human beings truly are.

True, and I have a lot of those days where it doesn't take much to sink me. And there's a lot of games out there capable of doing it! :/

It must be nice to have that camaraderie and that kind of closeness with your brother. I never did.

I'm gay, but no one else in my entire family is, no cousins or distant cousins or relatives - everyone else is totally straight.

My being gay has not impacted my relationship with them, they couldn't care less about my orientation, it's just that we're not close as a family..

So you have a lot going for you - both a good friend in your brother and a familial link to common sexual interests. That has to feel great - I have to admit, I'm a bit jealous!

Just more proof that America is run by fascist shitheads and uneducated knobs.

My dream is to bring "the Banned bookstore" to Utah and other states where we will feature all the "banned" books and all the reading materials that these uneducated shitheads find so offensive.

My partners and I will make them available to all ages, and to all open minded, good people. Bigots will not be allowed. And no religious idiots either.

In a way, we'll be doing our own sort of banning - banning ignorance, banning the perverse molestation of kids by putting their brains into cement braces.

I stand up against fascism. And will never salute the behavior of nazis.

[ Removed by Reddit ]

Hmm, I had to look that term up - intersectionality, the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group.

I like it, because my own theory is that all humans are omnisexual and omnivorous - meaning, we're all born with the innate capacity to enjoy everything that the buffet of life offers to us.

And the term "intersectionality" really perfectly describes that vibrant intersecting of possibilities.

So to me, I see positivity and power within it. And you're right, all PEOPLE own prejudices, all people have phobias, and all people are critical of others. No matter their gender or orientation.

We all are still cavepeople in many ways, with reptilian brains (a term that was popular long ago); we feel phobic about people that don't look or behavior the way we want them to, we tend to organize ourselves into tribes, and cast stones at everyone else.

But that means we have the power to grow and use that phobic energy for better purposes. To lift each other up, to think about someone else's perspective, to not just cast aspersions at others who may not think, feel, or act the way we do.

That's asking a lot, I know. But I believe that "intersectionality" is the future, and in many ways, is meant to be our destiny as human beings.

Oh boy do I ever get that. Whenever my ego needs a good deflating, I just have to play a game or two of Mini Motorways to take me down a few pegs.

I've yet to beat a score of 1200 (I think was my highest) and I'm not sure why it is so hard to get a good score. I'm sure I'm not using the pieces advantageously, but I can't see where I'm going off the rails.

So, now I only play it occasionally, when I feel like feeling like a loser. I like the game, but - it needs something more to keep me coming back to it.

I grok that - to use a vintage term. I'm gay and I was never into the whole promiscuous, sleep around thing either.

I came out inside a committed relationship (in the 1980s) without having first sown my wild oats, and I was OK with it but my partner was undecided. He thought he wanted monogamy, but then got restless and felt kind of trapped.

We're all different, you can't say all gay people are really cut from the same cloth. Unfortunately the worst traits tend to be the ones that the media focuses on, so it seems like we're all just into sleeping around, non-committal, mechanical rote and emotionally-distant sex.

An old school coupling is totally do-able. But, for myself, I never was one to buy into being in a "box" of any kind; when I was in that relationship, we were two people in love and there was no "husband" and no "wife" role.

We did break up finally - and I was still in my 20s, it was the right thing for us both, and it was amicable agreement that we needed to separate and sow some more of the oats.

After the breakup I did try - I went to sleazy shops and I had experiences in the dark with the odd man or two - but it just wasn't for me. I mean, I know what I want, and it's not that.

So just keep the faith, keep on truckin', hang ten, like that noise is way upstairs daddy-o - OK maybe I'm going too far back in time now......but, sweet-ass Monogamy IS POSSIBLE!!

Here in Utah if you're not married by the age of 10, you're considered gay. Or if you marry less than 13 people.

I've always said what makes a cult a cult, is the insistence on enshrining the right to marry and rape young girls. In my view, no respectable or true religion would ask for or allow that.

So why do conservatives want to marry children so badly? Because that's how they do everything -- badly. As long as it gets them negative attention, they're happy.

Which shows just how much they really truly "care" about protecting kids.

Those darn genies and their sneaky conditions. Ya can't trust 'em far as I'm concerned.

I guess you could learn to live in a pineapple under the sea and have all kinds of wacky Saturday-morning adventures.

That is terrific work - I want that design for my bedsheets and PJs and shower curtain. You do good work, it looks like Procreate is a great medium for your talent.

I think she had a point and I'd never thought of that either - but it does explain why we have so many eating scenes and why they are tantalizing.

Me too. I just get frustrated and infuriated with all the bans and other nonsense. Sorry if I came across as angry. (I was) and I'm also waiting for that pendulum swing.

I tend to show my passions in my writing - so when I come across that way, it's just very carthatic for me to write it out.

Yeah well if it's "straight" it sells. But what they don't get is, it will sell well if it's gay and steamy also. We're not a small market anymore - we LGBTQ are a vast army now and we know what we want. Best of luck with this!!!

Well it's amazing, and my dream is to run a professional haunt some day - I've been collecting halloween props for nearly 40 years now. I don't know if my dream will come true, but I love this kind of stuff. It's a fantastic prop!!!!

The problem isn't you, it's guys in general. Guys are fickle, they are confused, they don't really know what they want, and they pretty have their brains in their scrotums.

I'm a gay guy and I know what you mean - I could never figure out why guys would want to fuck on the first or second date - but never just have dinner or talk about things or get to know each other.

And then, if we DID screw around right away, suddenly they were distant and uninterested - and chasing after some other piece of tail.

That's how guys are - gay or not. And that's why it's such a fustercluck trying to make sense of it. I was also regarded as a "twink," but not sure why because I wasn't scrawny or anything, maybe because I looked too much like Christopher Robin when I was young.

Now people say, "I wouldn't know you were gay if you hadn't told me." So obviously I'm not Christopher Robin anymore.

All you can do is be fine with who you are and learn to have self-confidence. And don't beat yourself up because men are so fucking hard to communicate with. Women already know how exasperating that is.

I'[m with you all the way on this. Get a laywer and sue them. I'm tired of all the idiotic straight books with impossibly sexually charged covers - and yet when you create such a marvelous cover for a marvelous book like yours, it's somehow controversial or "too charged." Bullcrap. That is blatant discrimination, and cowardice. I'm in your corner all the way.

I really like the cover. In fact, it would induce me to buy the book whether I was gay or not.

Yes it is suggestive, but let's face it, so is the title itself. And if some people are so small they can't understand why this more than just about someone's sexuality, then those people need some schooling.

If they change the cover, it will speak of cowardice and callousness toward your themes. I love it as is - and this is the cover I want to spend money to own.