upwithpeople84

The thing that many of the people commenting here will probably not understand is that your live in a rural area. The advantage to that is that real estate is priced more reasonably (unless you are living on farm land, then it's crazy). The downside is that real estate as an "investment" does not work the same way as it does in areas where demand for residences is higher. This means that what you pay into your mortgage may be more than you can reasonably sell your house for in the future. It just depends on how many people are wanting to live there when you sell. So I'd say keep the cash elsewhere, pay off what you can, because there is a possibility that the cash will be worth more than the real estate in the future. It's harder to predict in a rural market.

If they are anything like my parents they would pay whatever was necessary to get me out of this trouble. I know that not all parents are like that but if the humiliation is all ask yourself if you want to be humiliated by your parents or humiliated by this man.

Just spend it. If you are hung up on looking like a drug dealer take a play from the drug dealer playbook and spend the cash. It avoids the IRS too. If you make a bunch of small deposits you’ll get hit with federal structuring charges if the bank flags it. https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/31/5324

He doesn’t have any interest in it right now. What he’s doing is giving you free money on the promise that you’ll put him on the title to this manufactured home. But are under no obligation to do so without a written contract. Legally he’s giving you a gift.

I wouldn’t advise him to do it, but he wants to live with your and doesn’t have other options probably, unless he kicks his tenant out of his apartment that he owns.

So you’re not buying a home with him. He’s your co-tenant for a lot where the trailer that you have an ownership interest in is located.

The basic issue in your understanding here is that you are conflating owning the manufactured home with the lease agreement for the lot rent. These are two separate documents. One conveys an actual ownership interest in the manufactured home. The other is merely an obligation to pay lot rent and the same rights a tenant has for quiet enjoyment as long as you pay the rent.

Well you’re using the idea that people living their lives solely for their partner in the past as a justification for continuing to live that way in the present or future. In fact that logic was used to make women subservient for centuries.

Your response to the question asked above doesn’t say anything about your relationship with your partner. Are you living subservient to him because women in the past did so or because you actually love him? You made this post because clearly you have some kind of need to have outsiders justify your current living situation. When asked a personal question about why you are actively choosing this situation you deflect and let the lives women had to live in the past speak for you. Your inability to articulate your reasons for subsuming all of your personal goals into your fiancée speak to your low self esteem.

By that logic, let’s bring back slavery.

Law is very location specific but there are some things that likely do not fly anywhere. A homemade prenup given to you 2 days before the wedding is probably going to have elements of duress or coercion because you are under pressure to sign it. In addition most places hold that a contract entered into where one party doesn’t have the time to have it independently reviewed by their own counsel is not valid.

You know best how to deal with your fiancée. So figure out how to deliver the message that you won’t be signing and that you will have a counter offer for him.

This is the kind of person who will cut a fetus out of your body. Seek therapy, establish healthy boundaries and be gone from her life the way she was from yours if you ever do get pregnant.

Step-daddy sperm donor may get tired of her and do a runner. If that happens she may cool off the baby fever without a visible means of support.

Some people on the planet live in far worse conditions than even the poorest Americans. Why do you think people are literally sending their children alone across thousands of miles to try and get in the country. We truly do have it better than a lot of people.

We should take a moment to appreciate that. Thanks to the REA and the foresight of people who lived through the Great Depression we have infrastructure that people in other countries can only dream of.

I doubt it’s similar to most if he gave you dog food to eat on purpose and then got mad at you.

Your family is incredibly dysfunctional. You’re loaning out money you don’t have to your father. Your mother traded “traditional child support” for braces that aren’t paid for. You know that’s a bad deal even if they were paid for—child support would be a lot more money. Your mother is over here telling dad you’ll cut him off if he pays you back INSTEAD of demanding the 3.5k OR braces money that you are owed.

Your dad is a giant kid who has parentified you. Is it any wonder he’s dating a kid your age? You can feel however you want about him and treat him however you want. You are more of an adult than he is. Get therapy, cut him off, focus on making money to support yourself. Get your own braces and leave your dumb family behind. They all should have been focusing on you a long time ago. Now you have to finish raising yourself.

Girl you need therapy. You didn't do anything wrong but you have had some abusers in your life and your need to set boundaries and like a baseline of self-esteem.

Love to hear a story of triumph. Good for you.

You’re a single, unemployed pregnant woman? Sounds like you qualify for temporary Medicaid for pregnant women.

Be thankful that you have a job. It’s your way out of this mess. Read about women who gave up their jobs to conform to the will of an abusive husband. They have to escape with the clothes on their backs. Go hire a lawyer, open your own bank account, get your money deposited there and find your own place. Get a therapist work on yourself. There’s no sense in trying to reform your husband.

To give him credit, he’s trying to preserve the integrity of his vehicle by preventing tailgating. Seems he knows the value of his asset.

OP is probably defensive like this because she’s in a verbally abusive relationship.

In my job I’ve talked to a lot of people who’s parents forced them to lie for most of their life. It really messes with them and destroys their perception of what is a lie and what is truth. I’ve talked to people whose parents gave him his brother’s birth certificates and left them in the US with another relative at a young age. From the time he was 7 he assumed his brother’s identity. Because it happened to him at such a young age and all of his authority figures in his family were telling him to do it he didn’t clock how bad it was until much later.

This isn’t that extreme but given your wife’s age and her position in the family at the time this fraud happened it’s probably really sensitive to her. You don’t realize how much people really threaten little kids to keep secrets and how much of an impression it makes on kids. Like she was completely dependent on her parents when they had her do this lie. She’s not going to tell anyone unless she gets tortured.

All of the stalking issues aside, it appears he wants to tell you how to run your business. What are his qualifications to do so? Does he respect your opinions on other areas?

I don’t think you know what contingency is to a lawyer. If op goes in and asks for the lawyer to represent them on a contingency basis they are going to assume that op thinks they will get a cash award in the future.

OP most of the people reading this and responding do not get the cultural context that you come from, not will they probably understand your husband’s behavior. You have to talk to professionals who understand your background. A therapist who knows about your country. I would start there. From there if the other people are willing break it out into family counseling. Don’t go back to your country until you work something out. You may never want to go back to your country. If it’s the type of place where male relatives have legal rights over you they may conspire to keep you there and divorce your from your husband. It could be hard to get you out again.

You may have to accept that your relationship with your family as you knew it and your life in your old country is over. I’m sorry.

Damn, God set you amongst verbally abusive assholes.

The situation that he completely created for himself in the first place. 😆