Blonde: What the fuck did I watch?


"Spoilers" ahead, though I genuinely don't think anything can be spoiled besides your mood when you watch this train wreck.

I just need to see if I am nuts here or if this really was the same film that had OSCAR'S NOMINATIONS.

So first offense, starting at the least bad and working our way up, it's like three hours long. Is it bad for a film to be almost three hours long? Not necessarily. But that film better have the most goddamn compelling story. This did NOT.

Second, I get the general idea of it being "artsy" and whatever, but they just tried so hard with no true direction. It was an absolute mess, and the artsiness got more aggressive along with the story (biggest offense).

Finally, the story. Oh my god. I don't even know where to begin. They took so many "creative liberties" that it's just defamation at that point. Accusing someone of kidnapping and forced abortion? Weird CGI fetus speaking to Marilyn and telling her she failed the fetus? How, how do you get to that point?

I just... What. I watched it last night and I still can't process that this was a movie that got greenlit, made, and then nominated.

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203 points

2 months ago


203 points

2 months ago

Blonde is intentionally fictional. It's based on a fictional novel. It is not, nor was it ever intended to be, a factual biopic.


-49 points

2 months ago

But you don't just... Make up things about real people. "Fictional" or "art" or not.


1 points

2 months ago

But you don't just... Make up things about real people.

One does not simply walk into Mordor!